Author JasmineJones Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 It takes A LOT of work to chase women. It's exhausting, expensive, and uncertain. When I find someone who is good enough, then I go for it - not as in settling, but good enough as in not perfect but good. If she has the maturity to build a relationship with me, and I'm attracted to her, I know within a handful of dates that I want to give it a go. Additionally, you have to remember, most men do not have the kind of emotional bonds in their life that women do, because we are socialized this way (where IS this gender equality I keep hearing about?). Many men can only express this part of themselves to that one woman, whereas women can express this part of themselves to all of their girlfriends. I'm generalizing, and it's not a perfect argument, but I think it makes a lot of sense as to your 'why so quick?' question. If I were a woman and had men chasing me (even when I'm in a relationship), knew I could get laid any time that I want, had many social supports to be emotional with, and didn't have to pay my way if I chose not to, the dating dynamics could be very different. So men don't get enchanted by somebody special who completely rocks their world but rather they will find some chick who seems OK or 'good enough' and give it a go?
python23 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 I also think the main thing for guys who want exclusivity is that if they think the girl is a catch and is desired by a lot of guys then they want to lock her down and make her theirs. Not in a needy way it's just natural to not want to share. But in reality you've got to be very careful to express these feelings as most girls don't want to hear it, you've got to let most women develop feelings. That's why when I really like the girl I'm dating like right now, I think it's too good to be true, I'm not really enjoying the uncertainty of dating, I'm not showing this obviously, that would look weak. But it's not a nice feeling. 1
python23 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 So men don't get enchanted by somebody special who completely rocks their world but rather they will find some chick who seems OK or 'good enough' and give it a go? If I can take or leave a girl I'm dating, even though we get on and seem to enjoy our dates then deep down I know I'm not really that into her. Therefore usually I end it before she gets hurt. That's if she's into me. If I'm crazy about the girl I'm dating and I'm secretly wanting to take things further because I know she's a catch and a really nice girl then il invest a decent amount of my time in her. 95% depends on what she looks like on the initial meet. 1
Author JasmineJones Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 I also think the main thing for guys who want exclusivity is that if they think the girl is a catch and is desired by a lot of guys then they want to lock her down and make her theirs. Not in a needy way it's just natural to not want to share. But in reality you've got to be very careful to express these feelings as most girls don't want to hear it, you've got to let most women develop feelings. That's why when I really like the girl I'm dating like right now, I think it's too good to be true, I'm not really enjoying the uncertainty of dating, I'm not showing this obviously, that would look weak. But it's not a nice feeling. Does your girl really like you a lot too? If so you've got nothing to feel uncertain about surely?
Celeste.Carol Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 So men don't get enchanted by somebody special who completely rocks their world but rather they will find some chick who seems OK or 'good enough' and give it a go? There is never going to be a universal answer to this question it is very individual. Some may settle, some may be enchanted, some may be in love, some desperate, some playing games, etc. 1
Mendalore Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 That is weird. Is she a swinger? Nope. If she's in a relationship she's monogamous. She's very interested with sexuality, and in touch with her own, but she's not poly or swinging. She's interested in BDSM a little bit as a sub, but there's no kissing/genital play/etc unless it's with her partner. The only thing I can guess is that it was some sort of crappy test. One which, I thought I would have passed because I *didn't* sleep with some random girl, but maybe it was her trying to see if I was confident enough to get anyone I wanted? *shrug* I'm thinking she probably wanted me to try to show that I wasn't that into her? I don't really know...
python23 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Does your girl really like you a lot too? If so you've got nothing to feel uncertain about surely? Well I think she likes me. She tells me I'm the topic of most conversation with her mum and friends. That she feels she's going to wake up soon, she's taking me out for a meal somewhere tomorrow for my birthday but then she contradicts herself by saying she's just happy to date once a week and isn't ready for anything serious. So that's where the uncertainty is for me, will she want something more serious with me? Will she break it off? We haven't slept together yet so it's still early days. It's date 5 tomorrow. Ive learnt to not express too much emotion. That backfires 95% of the time this early on.
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