Leigh 87 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) I have learnt such an important lesson in my 20s and approaching 30, I can't help but want to yell this advice to other 20 somethings in order to save them perhaps, some heartache. Although some lessons are fun to learn first hand Real chemistry and fake chemistry. It's so important to distinguish the difference. Fake chemistry doesn't have any real basis other than you're more into them than they are into you. The physical chemistry is one dimensional, with no deep seated feelings from their part, and if they were as into you as you are into them, it wouldn't be as hot on the chemistry meter...... The adages " women chase after jerks and get off on anxiety, drama, uncertainty and chasing what they know deep down they'll never have as theirs" ring true with fake chemistry. There are no personal connections or deep seated emotional ties with fake chemistry; physical chemistry alone in absense of true mutual feelings is fake, as you get off on the trying to catch what is aloof and unavailable as much as you do the chemistry. I know, because i hate drama and wanted nothing more than a lusty, passionate and DRAMA FREE relationship and yet even I admit, going after the forbidden fruit is just INNATELY thrilling on one level ( although I still prefer drama free true romance which brings me to my next paragraph ; true chemistry). True chemistry is extremely rare. I am not talking about having a giant need for a partner and settling for someone you're lukewarm about to begin with and never end up totally head over heels and madly, passionately in love with. Real chemistry is one of the most powerful things on the planet for empaths who feel things deeply. Real chemistry is a connection, electric chemistry and wanting to naturally rip each others clothes off COUPLED WITH and complimented me, a natural ease and flow with which you get along with effortlessly ( although first and second date nerves are still typical, whilst still noticing the uncommon easiness of your interaction compares to other " nervous " first date jitters you have had with prior dates). The physical chemistry and sparks combined with ease and no drama is real chemistry ; it's when things are passionate and you have a strong honeymoon stage WITHOUT drama and uncertainty....... It's the holy grail I'd been searching for since age 18, when I had natural chemistry with my first long term boyfriend; and didn't find it after him for the years. I'd feel fqke chemistry, pure lust with a fake connection based on lust and winter banter without real emotional grounds for a relationship.... Often times the guy would run hot and cold, telling me I was the one girl he'd considered settling down with despite his player ways with women. Wanting to be the girl that changed a player was one of the things that drive fake chemistry. At the heart of it, I always knew the chemistry was fake. Now that I've found real chemistry again, after ten years without encountering it once, there is a distinct lack if depth and ease in fake chemistry irrespective of how grandiose the players and liars gestures may be.......There are always signs. I urge you all to abandon shop at the first site of drama....the so called chemistry you feel is being heightened by drama, it isn't REAL. Hold out the years longer for the real deal. This thread is for people who are believers of the spark, being intuitive and in tune with positive and negative energies and finally, believe in connections that are meant to be that are rare. The people who think being head over heels and madly in love and falling hard for your partner is " too Disney " or " only in fairy tales " have no need to comment since they obviously hold no stock in real chemistry that I subscribe to and have searched for for ten years z and have ultimately found. Real chemistry is behind the clinchers of married couples who say they " just knew ". I personally feel a huge sense of knowing it feels " right ". Sure, I've had chemistry as ageing initialy with unavailable men, the drama and excitement even blew it up to steroid inducing in some cases, but the instant spark and magic I felt for the real deal free felt more calm and right and the love life is far superior, even though the thrills of unattainable men may have seemed more enticing for the first week ( literally). I had pretty much the same degree of lust t and chemistry with both the fake chemistry men and real chemistry two men, however, the drama and uncertainty of fake chemistry made it APPEAR more prominently. The calm and peaceful real chemistry felt more electric though and just divinely peaceful with better kissing and love making. On a personal note, the holy grail of sex for me ( I am a hedonist and need great sex on my life), the sex with fake chemistry men and sex with real chemistry men were world's apart. I never really got into the sex with fake men; it was the thrill I felt by trying to make them wsnt me and the initial kiss, after which the lack if emotional depth and personal chemistry and the connection, felt VERY very mediocre! Sex with real chemistry men and fake chemistry men felt the same thing first few times but real chemistry men and sex were just out if this world explosive compared to fake chemistry men. So that's my ten years of experimentation with fake chemistry men. I can now say that, aside from a human masturbatory tool, or perhaps a friends with benefits, fake chemistry men serve no longer term purpose aside from helping you in hour self discovery; on a TEMPORARY basis. Trust me. And the friend I have who changed a short term player who slept around heaps after a break yo and " wasn't looking for a relationship " and was dead averse to relationships, THEY still had real chemistry and despite her being the girl to change him, there was still no great drama and " wondering if he was truly into her " scenario.....it felt so natural and easy for them both from date one. Thanks for reading, this is the best advice I could have gotten in my 20 s whilst being single... And wasting time with those fakes...... Edited October 6, 2015 by Leigh 87 4
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