Author jam.over.jelly Posted October 9, 2015 Author Posted October 9, 2015 Thank you everyone for the encouragement. However, I have decided to stop OLD dating for a while. Took down my okc profile and uninstalled Tinder on my phone. I feel kind of good, actually. More time to hang out with my friends instead of going out on first dates, and more time for myself. I will use this time to reach out to my family more. I live only half hour from them but I barely ever go there for dinner on weekends anymore, how sad! I find myself in sort of a weird situation recently though. Met a guy online, went out for drinks the first time about a month ago, he was sweet, very attractive, sometimes I find him funny too, which was good. But I can't force what's not there, so I have decided not to pursue him romantically. One night I was bored and had a bad day so I was drinking wine by myself, got a bit tipsy so I called him over to watch a movie and hang out(he lives an hour and 15 min from me). In my mind I wanted to have sex with him. So he came over, cuddled with me, and I kissed him and we started fooling around. We never had sex but we had oral sex. He came too fast so we couldn't do the deed. And it was 230am so I wanted to go to bed. He left the next morning when I had to go to work. I'm not too keen on seeing him again, while he's quite the opposite. He texts me everyday, I always reply, but I don't try to keep the convo going with him. Then I got sick, he offered to bring medicines and food over to me. I didn't want company when I was sick so I told him no. I had a couple of bad days after that fighting with my best friend, so when he texted me 3 times before I even get to respond, I got irritated and told him I wasn't glued to my phone and please stop texting me. He said sorry and offered to listen if I wanted someone to talk to. I said ok, but then left it at that. 2 days have gone by. He didn't text me. I was fine. Today he texts me again asking how I'm feeling. This guy is so sweet! He's just my type physically and he's been such a sweetheart to me. He's silly and so am I. But Why am I not feeling anything romantic towards him? Will hanging out with him over time make me develop romantic feelings for him? Or am I just toying with him? I don't want to hurt him. My friends all tell me I'm crazy for not wanting to be with him.
Stage5Clinger Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Thank you everyone for the encouragement. However, I have decided to stop OLD dating for a while. I think I'm going to quit OLD myself. Came very close to hiring a prostitute for $40 off POF last night until I came to my senses (she said it was for a "sitter" yeah okay...). As for your guy problem -- just tell him what it is. There's not reason to lie if he can't take the truth all the more reason to cut him out.
katiegrl Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Thank you everyone for the encouragement. However, I have decided to stop OLD dating for a while. Took down my okc profile and uninstalled Tinder on my phone. I feel kind of good, actually. More time to hang out with my friends instead of going out on first dates, and more time for myself. I will use this time to reach out to my family more. I live only half hour from them but I barely ever go there for dinner on weekends anymore, how sad! I find myself in sort of a weird situation recently though. Met a guy online, went out for drinks the first time about a month ago, he was sweet, very attractive, sometimes I find him funny too, which was good. But I can't force what's not there, so I have decided not to pursue him romantically. One night I was bored and had a bad day so I was drinking wine by myself, got a bit tipsy so I called him over to watch a movie and hang out(he lives an hour and 15 min from me). In my mind I wanted to have sex with him. So he came over, cuddled with me, and I kissed him and we started fooling around. We never had sex but we had oral sex. He came too fast so we couldn't do the deed. And it was 230am so I wanted to go to bed. He left the next morning when I had to go to work. I'm not too keen on seeing him again, while he's quite the opposite. He texts me everyday, I always reply, but I don't try to keep the convo going with him. Then I got sick, he offered to bring medicines and food over to me. I didn't want company when I was sick so I told him no. I had a couple of bad days after that fighting with my best friend, so when he texted me 3 times before I even get to respond, I got irritated and told him I wasn't glued to my phone and please stop texting me. He said sorry and offered to listen if I wanted someone to talk to. I said ok, but then left it at that. 2 days have gone by. He didn't text me. I was fine. Today he texts me again asking how I'm feeling. This guy is so sweet! He's just my type physically and he's been such a sweetheart to me. He's silly and so am I. But Why am I not feeling anything romantic towards him? Will hanging out with him over time make me develop romantic feelings for him? Or am I just toying with him? I don't want to hurt him. My friends all tell me I'm crazy for not wanting to be with him. Sounds to me like he's not enough of a challenge for you jams. Perhaps you most want what is NOT so easily attainable? I say that cuz.... it appears the only two guys you seemed to like, were the guy who kept you on edge during the entire time you dated him (he eventually ended it saying he went back to his ex), and the recent guy you had a date with whom you texted, but he never got back to you. I think it's good you're taking a break from all of it. I never did OLD for too long, but I could see how it could be a drain after a while, if nothing seems to pan out. 1
joseb Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 JOJ, if I were you I'd cull the OLD for a while. Agree with others, you look pretty enough to attract most guys, so you should have your pick . Just keep meeting people, it's a bit easier in real life to immediately cull ones you don't feel an emotional spark with. How long was your last LTR? Three months is not a long time IMHO. Three months out of my last LTR, I don't think any woman would have sparked my interest to be honest. Seven months out, and a lot more are.
Author jam.over.jelly Posted October 9, 2015 Author Posted October 9, 2015 I think I'm going to quit OLD myself. Came very close to hiring a prostitute for $40 off POF last night until I came to my senses (she said it was for a "sitter" yeah okay...). As for your guy problem -- just tell him what it is. There's not reason to lie if he can't take the truth all the more reason to cut him out. Haha, no! I'm glad it only ALMOST just happened. I've been looking at outdoor adventures/hiking clubs in my city to join, and hopefully meet people the organic way, guys or girls (I always welcome new female friends), but damn nothing for 20-something like me, the members are in their 40-50s. As for the sweet guy, he hasn't asked me anything about my intentions with him, so there isn't really any reason for me to bring it up, for all I know he could very well just want a casual thing with me, which I'd be perfectly happy with, since I don't have strong feelings for him. I guess I'm just confused. I seem to always go for the wrong guys, the ones that are sweet and considerate and interested in me, I don't feel the same. My mom told me I should date someone who cares for me more than I care for them, only way I'd be happy in a relationship (?!).
Frank2thepoint Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 If you were a girl, you'd know how easy it is to get a date. Lol. Guys ask me to meet up left and right. My profile literally doesn't even say anything (I used to have one where I wrote a thorough introduction about myself but then I deleted my profile and now I'm just too lazy to even type up anything). And I feel like guys don't even care. They like my pics, and so they message me. So i'd choose from the pool of guys I have, pick the ones I'm most attracted to and meet up with them to decide if I feel any chemistry and if I'm also attracted to their personality. You just answered your own question. You're an attractive woman, from what I remember when you had your face on your avatar. So the men are just trying to get a date with you purely based on looks. And you are doing the same. You need to put some details into your profile, and express what you are looking for. Have boundaries and stick to them. Any guy that reaches out to you, read their profile. If you like what it says, chat with them. Even go as far as talking over the phone. If you like what they say, then go on a face-to-face date. This will help you find someone you find attractive and can connect with.
Author jam.over.jelly Posted October 9, 2015 Author Posted October 9, 2015 Sounds to me like he's not enough of a challenge for you jams. Perhaps you most want what is NOT so easily attainable? I say that cuz.... it appears the only two guys you seemed to like, were the guy who kept you on edge during the entire time you dated him (he eventually ended it saying he went back to his ex), and the recent guy you had a date with whom you texted, but he never got back to you. I think it's good you're taking a break from all of it. I never did OLD for too long, but I could see how it could be a drain after a while, if nothing seems to pan out. Maybe that's my curse. I find myself drawn to guys that keep me guessing. But I also hate that I feel that way, because it hasn't resulted in anything good. My mom said I go about it all wrong when it comes to dating, I turn away guys that are good to me and pay too much attention to the ones who obviously don't have much interest in me. Maybe she's right! And yes I am definitely taking a break from OLD.
Author jam.over.jelly Posted October 9, 2015 Author Posted October 9, 2015 JOJ, if I were you I'd cull the OLD for a while. Agree with others, you look pretty enough to attract most guys, so you should have your pick . Just keep meeting people, it's a bit easier in real life to immediately cull ones you don't feel an emotional spark with. How long was your last LTR? Three months is not a long time IMHO. Three months out of my last LTR, I don't think any woman would have sparked my interest to be honest. Seven months out, and a lot more are. My last LTR was only 8 months. He broke up with me because he said something was missing, I apparently felt that too but didn't do anything about it. It took me only a little over a month to get him out of my system, I only missed having someone around, not so much him.
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