scooby-philly Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Hey folks. Started OLD again two months ago. First 4 weeks - ended up with 4 numbers - 3 didn't work out but hoping to get 2nd date planned with the 4th tonight. However, I've also learned to keep on searching and see what I like/dislike so I'm keeping my options open. I wanted to get some feedback on my profile as the interest has now waned - no more winks/numbers in 5-6 weeks and I'm not sure if I'm going to keep at it - I may just take a break for a while (not stop using all together but maybe just check 2-3 times a week) and just see if anything happens IRL. That said, here's my profile - let me know what you think. In my own words editY Hi - I'm x. I grew up in y. I went to college at z, moved around a bit for work & grad school but found myself back here . My friends would describe me as someone that is reliable, balanced, hard-working, with a sarcastic sense of humor (heavy at times...but I know when to control it) that's family oriented and a good guy to know for all those "how do i handle this" type of situations. I love the city - walking, history, the great food, the events, the sports. But I also love the outdoors - camping, rafting, kayaking, hiking. I'm not a big fan of doing the same thing over and over again when it comes to free time or vacation. Having a reliable thing is great - but a new adventure or two a year is awesome. I'd describe myself as a guy who tries to keep things balanced. I like learning and trying new things, but i definitely enjoy quiet time - reading, cooking, gardening, or catching up on a few shows/movies. I'm an site-specific extrovert. I have a wide array of interests, but primarily the ones I focus on are my career & education, reading, cooking, traveling, and computers - learning slowly how to program. I started my career as a high school teacher and now work in corporate training. I think education suits my personality - part engineer, part creative. I like figuring out how things work and and I like building things so there's an scientist somewhere in my head. But I can be spontaneous and fun when it's time to relax and enjoy life. So I've got both a left and a right side brain - I'm just waiting to see which side wins out! I try to hit the gym before work everyday and play on a softball team once a week. We lose a lot. But it's fun. Tried skiing for the first time this past winter. Let's just say I fell. A lot. Best adventures so far - annual rafting trip complete with water gun battles, cave exploration in Mexico and sightseeing and enjoying Singapore and Kuala Lumpur. When I'm out - nothing like good music - rock, blues, jazz - with a good drink, good food and hopefully a good view. I love the warmer months, but I'm always up for a long walk around the city after dinner is even when it's cold. I keep a small circle of friends so i'm more the type to keep up with them than to be out constantly with different people. I also work a lot in my professional development area as a leader and organizer. What am I looking for? I'm looking for someone to build a life with. It's overused, but yes - my best friend. We need to share experiences, have complimentary goals and have the ability to communicate. Affection, passion, and laughter are important. Someone with a healthy balance, who's family oriented, self-supporting, and can do the little things that make a relationship work 1
Jejangles Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I think your profile is great! One tiny tweak - I would maybe pull out the "heavy sarcastic humour" part and just say "with a great sometimes sarcastic sense of humour". Heavy sarcasm can feel more mean, and I'm sure you're not, but no need to put anything that will turn someone off! So beyond your profile, do you have a good assortment of photos up that illustrates some of the activities you talk about? And do you regularly log-on and refresh your photos / tweak your profile? Finally, are you sending out a good number of short but custom messages? A lot of women, me included, will not often initiate messages.
StocksnBlondes Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 "a site-specific" "walk in the ... is ---great--- even ..." Add great or nice or whatever Totally agree on the tempering of sarcasm ...a lot of woman will interpret this as being harsh ...we have delicate sensibilities Maybe add something about being romantic and romantic gestures All around a thoughtful well written profile ...with some good pix as suggested I think you'll do well.
Ami1uwant Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Overall good....it's a little to generic. Is there something unique that interests you??? What is your travel style??? Do you do European cities or national parks?
Oregon_Dude Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Your profile is entirely devoid of humor, or anything that makes you truly interesting. No offense. 2
thecrucible Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I think less is more. Something like: My friends describe me as someone fun to be around with a great sense of humor but also reliable, hard-working, and family oriented. I love the city - its history, the great food, events, and sports. On a night out nothing beats listening to good music - rock, blues and jazz; enjoying good food and hopefully a good view. The warmer months are great for taking evening walks around the city. One of my passions is learning and education. I like taking stuff apart and putting it back together to figure out how things work. Another interest is traveling and the outdoors - camping, rafting, kayaking, hiking. A new adventure or two is awesome. My best adventures so far - an annual rafting trip complete with water gun battles; cave exploration in Mexico; and sightseeing in Asia. To relax, I enjoy reading, cooking, gardening, and watching films. I also play on a softball team once a week. I am looking for someone with a good sense of humor to enjoy life with. Affection, passion, and laughter are important.Or what I put could be really bad? But yes I just think you need to refine it and not explain yourself to the reader so much. If you cut out some extraneous detail, it sounds a lot better and more appealing. Plus there are more questions to ask and it's more intriguing. You don't have to tell your life story. Hope that helps.
thecrucible Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 "a site-specific" "walk in the ... is ---great--- even ..." Add great or nice or whatever Totally agree on the tempering of sarcasm ...a lot of woman will interpret this as being harsh ...we have delicate sensibilities Maybe add something about being romantic and romantic gestures All around a thoughtful well written profile ...with some good pix as suggested I think you'll do well. I think it's best to not include anything that can be misinterpreted too much. For me, sarcasm sounds really bad - people do say it's the lowest form of wit and I don't want to be with a guy who's going to slag me off. And the 'site-specific' I think is too woolly and best to leave out also. I like your tip about romance. It's nice to get a sense of romance from a man's profile.
Author scooby-philly Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 Thanks all for the insights. I'll remove the sarcasm reference, add something about romance. As to generic....I guess I kind of see that but I like what I have to say and say what's important to me.
LilaMarie Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I agree with the crucible...less is more. It was too long. Don't you want to get to know someone in person? Rhetorical question btw.
angel.eyes Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Overall, I loved your profile! You seem like a really interesting guy. I play tennis, so your attitude about your softball games really struck a chord with me. Some people don't know how to lose, and they suck all the joy out of what should be a fun and enjoyable time. Yes, the comment about heavily sarcastic humor, did cause some pause. But there was just so much to connect with in your profile, that I would have waited to meet you in person to judge you on that one potential flaw. How are your pictures? Those are important. Stay active on the site at least daily. When I did OLD, I prioritized guys who were active on the site, quick to respond, and eager to move forward to an in-person date. You don't want to give the impression that you aren't that interested in dating or serious about the finding someone. Figure out a system for yourself so that it doesn't turn into a time sink. Once I had a system, I spent maybe ten minutes every morning responding to guys on the site and browsing through profiles. Most of my time and energy was spent on actual in-person dates. Best of luck in finding someone special to date.
SandraTempleton Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 My recommendation would be to post a few photos showing the things you like to do. You mentioned traveling as a hobby, post a cool photo of yourself in front of a landmark in Asia. Maybe some photos playing softball or with your teammates? I guess in my mind it reinforces what you've said you enjoy doing. Best of luck to you
Author scooby-philly Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 Thanks again to everyone for the feedback. I did remove the reference to heavy sarcasm. And I did clean up the bit about being romantic and overall just simplified/shortened. Though honestly I don't mind having a longer profile as a guy - hopefully it helps women decide. I do have photos up - but I did switch one out and replace it with a hiking one. May take a break for a little while, just exhausted having to be the one to make contact all the time.
jam.over.jelly Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Your profile is entirely devoid of humor, or anything that makes you truly interesting. No offense. I have to agree with Oregon_Dude here. Your profile sounds great. Very polished. But also, very generic, I can't say I have a feel for your personality when I read yours. I have read some profiles where they re not as long, not as detailed but it screams out their personality and I love it! It shows me those guys are different. If u claim u have a great sense of humor, then put it to work. Showcase it in your profile.I actually love the fact that you said you're very sarcastic, but do listen to the ladies on here though, they represent the majority. Maybe I'm just the odd one out. Haha 2
Strahatmak Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 The suggestion in one fo the previous post is a good start. Please put the profile in point form. No need to be in full sentence. Put the most attractive, important things on top.
bettermistakes Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 You mentioned that you've already edited your profile, but if it still contains "have complimentary goals," then you need to change it to "complementary." I know - nitpicky.
Author scooby-philly Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 Ok - I took care of the nitpicky stuff. If anyone else responds....ladies - how often do you use OLD features to suggest you might be interested....I mean I use features like "liking" or "favoriting" or winking, etc and few, if any , woman use those features back And thanks again for the nice compliments. Dating for a recovering nice guy can be tough as it's certainly a case of selling yourself.
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