Should you express anger at dumper?

[Lauwatchthestars]

Hi everybody, I'll try to make a long story short.

I was in a long distance relationship, I'm Italian, living in Italy and he's American, living in NYC. The story lasted a year, with ups and downs, a lot of time spent together and a lot of time spent apart. I spent 3 months in NYC from March to June and when I left for Italy, he said he loved me and we would be together wherever I would decide to live. After a month apart, he broke up with me on Skype. I was devastated bla bla bla, but that's not the point. After a couple of months, I got a job offer from a company in NYC and after a 2 months of NC (he had tried to contact me after the BU but I blew him off), I called him to say I was going back to NYC. He didn't seem very enthusiastic and also told me he was dating someone else. I was devastated again and when he asked me if I was pissed off, I said I was only very sad - which was true because it felt like I was back to square one.

Now. A few weeks have gone by and I'm also having bureaucratic problems which may compromise my move to the US. Every day, I find myself wishing

I had expessed my anger at him. It's like I'm running conversations in my head where I tell him how big of a disappointment he was for blindsiding me and tell him to freak off!

Do you think expressing anger or cursing would help healing a little bit sooner?

[thejabberwocky]

Not at all. It will do absolutely nothing but make you feel bad and re-live the situation again.

 

There is some quote that says... holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

 

Don't bother speaking to him again. Just move on.

[singme2sleep]

For me personally, anger was the only thing that helped me move on. Because until I felt angry, I still pined to get them back, but anger helped pushed me forward. I know it sounds weird. Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling, let it out.