Author Coup La-La Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 . The next day when she has re-thought what was disussed. Shes probably changed her mind. The way she isnt responding to your comments is a small hint maybe she isnt interested. However it depends what you have commented on and i would not rely on Facebook comments to guage interest. Did you not get her number or have you messaged her directly? I messaged her directly with a short question and an open answer one, she didn't give much of an answer to the first, and she gave no answer at all to the 2nd.
fitnessfan365 Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 It's happened to me w/women I've attempted to make dates w/as well. But I will say that it isn't fair to act like women are the only ones that do this. It's people in general. There's a guy I know who always used to say "Let's hang out". He seemed like he'd make a good friend. So anytime I'd try to get the ball rolling, he'd make excuses or if we did make plans he'd cancel day of. Yet every time, he'd always say "We'll hang out soon". Hell just today, a woman was watching me train two of my clients in the apartment complex gym. After the session ends, she asks if I'm a trainer. So I confirm and make small talk. She says she's unhappy with the lack of results on her own and that she needs a trainer. I tell her that I'll look over my schedule and contact her to get her set up for a fitness assessment/sample workout. Then we can talk scheduling and pricing based on the type of program she'll need. So I ask for her number. She says "I'll take your number". So I instantly knew she had no interest in getting training. Yet she initiated, said she needs a trainer, etc.. It's something that people do.
RoseWater Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Id recommend just chilling out. Not every casual brief chat is going to lead to dating or marriage. I've flirted with a zillion guys just for fun
Miss Peach Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Did you ever invite her to hang out and do this, go to this place, or ask her to meet you after work to have a drink- giving an exact day and time? If you didn't, then maybe she thinks you're timid or not interested in dating her. I have seen this happen. I just assume that since the guy didn't follow up that he wasn't that interested and move on. The only thing that struck me as odd is that you did reach out to her on FB and didn't get ANY response. In that case I would assume she felt good in the moment but later changed her mind. I know it sucks... I see that behavior a lot too in both men and women. 2
siriusp Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 It's taken me years to realise that men can misunderstand friendliness for interest. I spent most of my life frustrated by men misunderstanding me. I was simply friendly and they thought I was interested........ I then became more bitchy and hostile to avoid this - but that didn't do me much good either! For me I can easily talk to a man or woman all night and suggest keeping in touch but I will have NO desire to have anything sexual/relationship with them. The thought will not even enter my mind. I don't know if many other women are like me but - I think they are. When I 'feel' someone has feelings that I don't have - I become more distant as I don't want to give them the wrong impression or false hope. Recently I experienced it from the other side. I met someone that I thought I had a connection with - slept with him - he stayed in touch and suggested coming to see me etc. but later I realised that he didn't feel the same way as I did. I wouldn't worry about it - but maybe try to think about it from her point of view. I hope this helps.
siriusp Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 I went to a friend's birthday party 2 weeks ago, met a girl there that I spoke to all night, she and I have a million things in common and could practically finish each other's sentences. She kept saying: "Let's hang out and do this, or go to this place" , "you need to come to job next week so we can have a drink afterwards". She and I have connected on Facebook that night and since then she's ignored my messages and comments on her pictures/status (commenting on everyone else's) I don't understand why do women bring up the idea of us going out if they have no intention on following through? I know for a fact that she's single, and she's the one who steered the conversation in that direction in the first place. So 2 questions 1. What possible benefit could she get from giving me false hope? 2. What can I do to spot something like this in the future? I am a bit confused actually - what exactly did she do to give you hope? I would often meet men or women and chat with them and suggest doing things later without any interest in 'dating' them. I really don't understand why talking to someone makes them think there is any interest other than - friendly. Did you kiss? Or were you intimate in any way? Were you flirting with each other - or was it as you described above and just a very interesting conversation where you have thousands of things in common? Having things in common doesn't mean there is sexual/relationship interest...... (it would be a weird world if that's all it took)!
Author Coup La-La Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 I am a bit confused actually - what exactly did she do to give you hope? I would often meet men or women and chat with them and suggest doing things later without any interest in 'dating' them. I really don't understand why talking to someone makes them think there is any interest other than - friendly. Her: "You should come by the gallery I work at on Thursday or Friday, there's a new exhibit there I want to show you. After that we can have a drink, maybe dinner" Me: "That sounds great, I've never been to your gallery and I would love to see some of your art work sometime, if you're not busy on the weekend" Her: "YES, i LIKE THAT IDEA, I'm single, live alone, and don't even have a pet so I definitely don't have any significant responsibility, I would be honored if you would look my stuff over, BTW there's a new sushi restaurant in my neighborhood, maybe we could go there. ALL THE WHILE REBUFFING ANY ATTEMPT ANY OTHER MAN MADE TO STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH HER. As I'm leaving --> Her: "Hey, I'm soooo glad we got a chance to talk, it's been a long time since I've met an interesting person. I'm gonna see you later this week RIGHT??? Even one of the other people at the party sent me a FB message afterwards "she was really into you"
smackie9 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 IMO you should have ask for her number and asked her out on a mini date, like meeting up for a coffee date, or something simple during the week. Why she stopped messaging you, who knows. I'll take a shot tho....there might have been something on your FB that discouraged her.
siriusp Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Her: "You should come by the gallery I work at on Thursday or Friday, there's a new exhibit there I want to show you. After that we can have a drink, maybe dinner" Me: "That sounds great, I've never been to your gallery and I would love to see some of your art work sometime, if you're not busy on the weekend" Her: "YES, i LIKE THAT IDEA, I'm single, live alone, and don't even have a pet so I definitely don't have any significant responsibility, I would be honored if you would look my stuff over, BTW there's a new sushi restaurant in my neighborhood, maybe we could go there. ALL THE WHILE REBUFFING ANY ATTEMPT ANY OTHER MAN MADE TO STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH HER. As I'm leaving --> Her: "Hey, I'm soooo glad we got a chance to talk, it's been a long time since I've met an interesting person. I'm gonna see you later this week RIGHT??? Even one of the other people at the party sent me a FB message afterwards "she was really into you" The only thing that you said - was that she refused to speak to any other man - but apart from that - I only read friendliness. I have met many men and invited them for dinner (and I often paid) but I never ever had any intention of having anything other than a friendship with them. I would hate to think any of these guys ever misunderstood my intentions...
ASG Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 She felt a connection at first but on a revisit she didn't want to follow through.You can't really, just chalk it up as a rejection and move on. Sorry bud, I know it's rough. Yeap. This. It has happened to me a few times. Its unfortunate, but unavoidable. I went on a date with this guy, a few months ago and it was great and we set the next date right there and then... But the next day I just wasn't feeling it anymore. We never went on that second date.
Author Coup La-La Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 I went on a date with this guy, a few months ago and it was great and we set the next date right there and then... But the next day I just wasn't feeling it anymore. We never went on that second date. See that's the sort of thing I'm talking about, what could you have realized 24 hours later that you didn't realize then and there??? Did you go over your memory and find a red flag? Did an old BF call you? And seeing the example cited here, I don't see how anyone could argue the point about false hope.
Author Coup La-La Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 The only thing that you said - was that she refused to speak to any other man - but apart from that - I only read friendliness. I have met many men and invited them for dinner (and I often paid) but I never ever had any intention of having anything other than a friendship with them. I would hate to think any of these guys ever misunderstood my intentions... No, I also mentioned how she kept making reference to the fact that she was single. If you know that you're not looking to date someone, why would you keep using "buying words" like "I'm single and live alone, you should come by" or "let's get a drink and maybe dinner". That's like speaking to a door to door salesman for 45 minutes about vacuum cleaners, then getting surprised when he's looking to sell me something.
Versacehottie Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Two things: I think she if she is properly interested she is waiting for you to follow through. 1.She planted the seed and now you need to be direct and make it direct ask of her. You don't expect her to give all those strong hints and then ALSO be the one to pursue you to say yeah let's do this on such and such date. I don't know if guys realize that makes many women uncomfortable. She is already out of the traditional role by being so forward. And then if she has to take the next step in asking YOU out as well it just doesn't feel good. 2.She said she's single and hasn't met someone for a long time or however you phrased it. Well so it sounds like she has been on a dating hiatus. You don't know the reason (maybe a bad breakup, not ready, other stuff going on in her life). Maybe she thought she was ready to start up dating again with you in the moment, ie there was enough attraction there/common interests BUT then got home and had second thoughts. Not necessarily to do with you but just where she is in life. A false start if you will My advice was to man up and ask her out directly. If she waivers or fails to set a date, you will know she is not interested. And YES PEOPLE do this.
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