GuskeGee Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Hey guys I've been reading and watching videoes by the most popular dating coaches out there, you know - the guys who make money from coaching you how to approach women and make dates, relationships etc. Most of them claim that if you want to land a girl and make her fall in love with you, you are not allowed to show interest from the beginning, because women love men whose feelings are unclear, and they almost sound like that's the ONLY way to make a girl fall head over heels in love with you. Another thing they keep repeating is that women fall in love over the period of two months with a once a week date. Anyways, what truly made me want to post this here is that I have a really hard time believing that the couple next door, the couple you see on the street, your friends and enemies, have ALL followed those rules in order to attract each other. Like, some of my friends have told me they were texting and talking on the phone every day for weeks WHILE meeting up and dating before they got in a serious relationship, but that's one of the first things those dating coaches tell you will RUIN any chance of attraction - that pursuing a girl that way will NOT make her fall for you. That you have to be 'unclear' about your intentions until she falls in love with you etc. But is that how EVERY couple out there has done it? Because by their logic, every single happy couple would have had to apply those rules. And I know no one who did those things. What are your guys take on those coaches and rules?
BluEyeL Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I think what they say applies more to situations when people meet online or at a party and decide to start dating. So they were strangers before. When you meet someone at work, school, during activities and get exposed to them over a period of time, then it's a bit different. But yes, for what is worth, that's exactly how my current happy relationship started. I'm a woman. If my boyfriend followed that advice, it worked because indeed we had dates once a week for 2 months and he was consistent in asking me out at the end of each date, but not all over me/blowing up my phone. After 2 months we started to see each other more and more often. 1
Redhead14 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Hey guys I've been reading and watching videoes by the most popular dating coaches out there, you know - the guys who make money from coaching you how to approach women and make dates, relationships etc. Most of them claim that if you want to land a girl and make her fall in love with you, you are not allowed to show interest from the beginning, because women love men whose feelings are unclear, and they almost sound like that's the ONLY way to make a girl fall head over heels in love with you. Another thing they keep repeating is that women fall in love over the period of two months with a once a week date. Anyways, what truly made me want to post this here is that I have a really hard time believing that the couple next door, the couple you see on the street, your friends and enemies, have ALL followed those rules in order to attract each other. Like, some of my friends have told me they were texting and talking on the phone every day for weeks WHILE meeting up and dating before they got in a serious relationship, but that's one of the first things those dating coaches tell you will RUIN any chance of attraction - that pursuing a girl that way will NOT make her fall for you. That you have to be 'unclear' about your intentions until she falls in love with you etc. But is that how EVERY couple out there has done it? Because by their logic, every single happy couple would have had to apply those rules. And I know no one who did those things. What are your guys take on those coaches and rules? They aren't telling you how to get women to fall in love with you, they are telling you how to get women who will fall for any guy who shows them any attention at all. And, the women who "fall" for guys whose feelings are unclear, do that because if she is so wonderful as to draw a guy's feelings out, it is an ego boost for her. She was so fabulous as get a guy to drop his emotional walls. A strong, independent, mature woman will fall in love with a man when she is attracted enough to him to go out with him, when he demonstrates a sincere and respectful interest in her, dates her properly and with whom she develops a close enough bond. And, I don't care how often you date them during the week or call them, they will fall in love with the person they fall in love with. Either the person "clicks" for them or they don't. There isn't anything you can DO to get a women to fall in love with you but you can do things that will cause them to back off that's for sure. And, if she's a mature woman, one of those things would be not being clear about your interest in her. Once a week of dating and consistent communication for a month or so won't make her fall in love with you, but it will demonstrate enough interest from the man to make it so she gets to know him well enough for love to develop and, hopefully, show her that he's not just interested in getting laid. 1
JasmineJones Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Hey guys I've been reading and watching videoes by the most popular dating coaches out there, you know - the guys who make money from coaching you how to approach women and make dates, relationships etc. Most of them claim that if you want to land a girl and make her fall in love with you, you are not allowed to show interest from the beginning, because women love men whose feelings are unclear, and they almost sound like that's the ONLY way to make a girl fall head over heels in love with you. Another thing they keep repeating is that women fall in love over the period of two months with a once a week date. Anyways, what truly made me want to post this here is that I have a really hard time believing that the couple next door, the couple you see on the street, your friends and enemies, have ALL followed those rules in order to attract each other. Like, some of my friends have told me they were texting and talking on the phone every day for weeks WHILE meeting up and dating before they got in a serious relationship, but that's one of the first things those dating coaches tell you will RUIN any chance of attraction - that pursuing a girl that way will NOT make her fall for you. That you have to be 'unclear' about your intentions until she falls in love with you etc. But is that how EVERY couple out there has done it? Because by their logic, every single happy couple would have had to apply those rules. And I know no one who did those things. What are your guys take on those coaches and rules? 1. I cannot speak for all women but any man who plays games is a turn-off to me. Nothing is sexier than a confident man who lets you know that he is very interested in you. No games necessary. 2. We could go on dates once a week with an azzhole for 2 years and still not fall in love if he's a loser. A man who is attentive, who makes it clear he is serious about you and that he is interested in a meaningful relationship with you is HOT.
kendahke Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 What are your guys take on those coaches and rules? They prey on emotionally vulnerable people and are only too happy to separate you from your treasury. Their whole philosophy is wrong--they're about manipulating the unsuspecting person who is the object of desire. Perhaps it's the reason why, as you've noticed, other couples may not have gone through that--because the two were being authentic and honest about who they are. They also probably weren't pushing for having their own way--they discovered that what they wanted, the other person wanted in the same measure. One doesn't need a coach. One needs common sense and a strong sense of self--and the ability to see things for what they are instead of what they wished they would be. 1
road Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Best advice is do not play games. You want the bee-itches to love you for who you are, and you to fall for the real them. Relationships are better when started and then built on the truth.
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) It's mostly crap..I find it kind of funny that they have countless dating "gurus" that have their own view points that they think applies to ALL women. Notice that you rarely see the same thing giving advice to women on "how to land a man." I mean, I'm sure those dating gurus for women are few and far between, but the market is totally saturated with "how to get a woman!" The gurus forget to think that the situation is completely subjective, not objective. -because the two were being authentic and honest about who they are. Right...every time a woman was interested in going out with me, my approach was completely effortless because I was "being myself!" I know this one dude in real life, that is always trying to give me unsolicited dating tips as if I needed it. Turns out, he watches this crap on YouTube. LOL. I found it funny, because I know the woman he went on one date one time...I had dated her too (I just never told him this, LOL). I talked to her about him and she was like "Shoot, I thought he was gay actually." She also found it funny when I told her he's always trying to give ME dating advice...and her response was, "HA! YOU could probably teach HIM a thing or two!" That was pretty much an ah-ha moment on the BS of "dating coaches." Hey guys I've been reading and watching videoes by the most popular dating coaches out there, you know - the guys who make money from coaching you how to approach women and make dates, relationships etc. Most of them claim that if you want to land a girl and make her fall in love with you, you are not allowed to show interest from the beginning, because women love men whose feelings are unclear, and they almost sound like that's the ONLY way to make a girl fall head over heels in love with you. Another thing they keep repeating is that women fall in love over the period of two months with a once a week date. Anyways, what truly made me want to post this here is that I have a really hard time believing that the couple next door, the couple you see on the street, your friends and enemies, have ALL followed those rules in order to attract each other. Like, some of my friends have told me they were texting and talking on the phone every day for weeks WHILE meeting up and dating before they got in a serious relationship, but that's one of the first things those dating coaches tell you will RUIN any chance of attraction - that pursuing a girl that way will NOT make her fall for you. That you have to be 'unclear' about your intentions until she falls in love with you etc. But is that how EVERY couple out there has done it? Because by their logic, every single happy couple would have had to apply those rules. And I know no one who did those things. What are your guys take on those coaches and rules? Edited October 6, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst
Lois_Griffin Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Hey guys I've been reading and watching videoes by the most popular dating coaches out there, you know - the guys who make money from coaching you how to approach women and make dates, relationships etc. Most of them claim that if you want to land a girl and make her fall in love with you, you are not allowed to show interest from the beginning, because women love men whose feelings are unclear, and they almost sound like that's the ONLY way to make a girl fall head over heels in love with you. Another thing they keep repeating is that women fall in love over the period of two months with a once a week date. Anyways, what truly made me want to post this here is that I have a really hard time believing that the couple next door, the couple you see on the street, your friends and enemies, have ALL followed those rules in order to attract each other. Like, some of my friends have told me they were texting and talking on the phone every day for weeks WHILE meeting up and dating before they got in a serious relationship, but that's one of the first things those dating coaches tell you will RUIN any chance of attraction - that pursuing a girl that way will NOT make her fall for you. That you have to be 'unclear' about your intentions until she falls in love with you etc. But is that how EVERY couple out there has done it? Because by their logic, every single happy couple would have had to apply those rules. And I know no one who did those things. What are your guys take on those coaches and rules? Gotta be honest with you. If you're Brad Pitt or damned close to it, there are some foolish women who'll cling to you even though you're only tossing them breadcrumbs once a week. But most men don't even come CLOSE to looking like Brad Pitt, and therefore, don't have that power. For the rest of the male mortals not in Brad's league, if you're going to listen to this nonsense about being so distant that you'll only date someone once a week and act disinterested in them, you're going to find yourself single for a long, long, long time. I agree that it's very hard to respect a guy who acts like a needy little whiner, constantly wanting attention and throwing a woman up on a pedestal. That'll get you disrespected and taken for granted REAL quick like. But there's a healthy, happy balance between being a sycophant and being Mr. Detached, and THAT'S the guy whose going to be most attractive to women. 1
Gaeta Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Most of them claim that if you want to land a girl and make her fall in love with you, you are not allowed to show interest from the beginning, because women love men whose feelings are unclear, and they almost sound like that's the ONLY way to make a girl fall head over heels in love with you. That is a lot of BS. Dating is based on attraction. You can approach me with all the best moves in the world if I don't like your face you and I ain't gonna have a date, period. Men need to understand there is no recipe to win a woman over. We, too, work on attraction. You can be a Casanova but if we don't feel attracted it won't work. You could be a clumsy Kevin James, if we like you you'll get our attention. Another thing they keep repeating is that women fall in love over the period of two months with a once a week date. It's different with every woman. I need a good 6 months to fall in love. As for the once a week date, no, once again depends on the woman. One date a week I would lose interest and see it as he's not that interested in me. I like Redhead answer when she says: What kind of woman these techniques attract?
glynnroy Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Hey guys I've been reading and watching videoes by the most popular dating coaches out there, you know - the guys who make money from coaching you how to approach women and make dates, relationships etc. Most of them claim that if you want to land a girl and make her fall in love with you, you are not allowed to show interest from the beginning, because women love men whose feelings are unclear, and they almost sound like that's the ONLY way to make a girl fall head over heels in love with you. Another thing they keep repeating is that women fall in love over the period of two months with a once a week date. Anyways, what truly made me want to post this here is that I have a really hard time believing that the couple next door, the couple you see on the street, your friends and enemies, have ALL followed those rules in order to attract each other. Like, some of my friends have told me they were texting and talking on the phone every day for weeks WHILE meeting up and dating before they got in a serious relationship, but that's one of the first things those dating coaches tell you will RUIN any chance of attraction - that pursuing a girl that way will NOT make her fall for you. That you have to be 'unclear' about your intentions until she falls in love with you etc. But is that how EVERY couple out there has done it? Because by their logic, every single happy couple would have had to apply those rules. And I know no one who did those things. What are your guys take on those coaches and rules? Depends which gurus you've been watching ! If it's the pick up artist s , they have a certain technique that works and it's to gain instant interest , for a quick lay ! There are no harden rules , I know of friends who have just gone up to a girl and aging them out , others on date sites , I know of people who just bump into others , at the shop at the gym ! Love can happen anywhere ! If some one is into you they are into you , could be any time and place any where ! I'd just say be nice and approachable and be yourself ! Some one will like you for who you are , you certainly have to put yours the out there though , as no one is going to knock on your door ! There is a tin lid for every tin pot ! Some times you just gotta take a deep breath and let it happen !
Toodaloo Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I think what these dating coaches are getting at is making sure you are not "needy". There is a difference between being needy and being interested. Needy includes clingy behaviour such as blowing up the girls phone with texts all the time, continually looking for validation and compliments from them, not paying attention to your friends and family while all this is going on, always wanting to be with her every second of every day. Interested behaviour is looking forward to seeing her again but in a way that clearly shows that its not the end of the world if she walks away or isn't available that day. I would be happy to date once or twice a week for a couple of months. But if he didn't show that he was interested then I am afraid it would give me mixed signals and I would walk. Dating is something you can't put time scales to. You have to be adaptable, as what is good for one, will turn off another. Seeing someone once a week is good with me but if there is no or little interaction between I have to assume he is only there to try and get in my pants and isn't interested. Your best bet it to learn these cues and see where it goes. Make sure you keep your feet on the ground and your head out of the clouds. Back in the days when I was dating before the long term relationships it was easier. We stated if we fancied someone, checked to see if it was mutual. If not we checked to see if they fancied any of our single friends, if so then we got together and gave it a chance. If it didn't work we went back to see which of our friends he may suit and vice versa! These days its a damned quagmire... I get as confused as hell with it all. 1
Revan32 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 The thing about those dating coaches is that you have to remember that most of their clients are the types that naturally suck with women. So most of their material is to help guys who are naturally the very clingy desperate type, so they have to teach them to stop displaying those bad behaviors. For more normal guys who aren't terrible with women, a lot of their advice goes a little too far. As for how long to wait between dates, that is entirely situation dependent. Some girls you can just feel are really into you after just one date. They are perfectly fine with 2 or more dates a week. But if a girl still seems a little hesitant, then the once a week date is probably best. They are the type were you're balancing on the edge of being an annoyance in their life, vs having a fun night out here and there. Eventually if they warm up you can start asking them out more often. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 The target market for these so called coaches are insecure clingy needy men who are "hopeless" with women because they have no self confidence. The advice to act aloof is easier for such a man to swallow then to be told he needs to be more confident & believe in himself because he can't do the latter. It's like The Rules for women. The specific advice in that book is drivel but the bottom line -- she needs to value herself & not throw herself at every guy who uses her is sound. 1
J21 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Don't think there is a blanket one size fits all "strategy". Everyone's chemistry and personality is different so you gotta go by that. My interaction with Person A might be different from the chemistry/interaction I would have with Person B, so a linear approach can't be sound. I think there are some sound advices dating coach can give (IE: don't blow up their phone with texts, be confident, etc) but at the end of the day, it doesn't mean much if two people doesn't have mutual attraction to begin with.
jay1983 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Gotta be honest with you. If you're Brad Pitt or damned close to it, there are some foolish women who'll cling to you even though you're only tossing them breadcrumbs once a week. But most men don't even come CLOSE to looking like Brad Pitt, and therefore, don't have that power. For the rest of the male mortals not in Brad's league, if you're going to listen to this nonsense about being so distant that you'll only date someone once a week and act disinterested in them, you're going to find yourself single for a long, long, long time. I agree that it's very hard to respect a guy who acts like a needy little whiner, constantly wanting attention and throwing a woman up on a pedestal. That'll get you disrespected and taken for granted REAL quick like. But there's a healthy, happy balance between being a sycophant and being Mr. Detached, and THAT'S the guy whose going to be most attractive to women. I have to agree with this. If you're not a celebrity look-a-like, and you try the little contact, once a week date, you'll get the quick fade away.
JasmineJones Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I actually think once a week is fine for the first couple of months. 1
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