outdated Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 Hello Peeps- Here's a question- Just got a part in a project and it's going up in a small theater. That's good. Ex is in a musical in the theater downstairs one of the weekends. I know that I can't avoid seeing her as we load in the same door for both shows. That's bad. I have been in almost complete NC since we broke up mid-march, and after a few attempts to win her back. I have only seen her twice. One ended pretty unhappily, the other was fine. We have talked on the phone randomly and she sends me mixed messages. "It's hard to understand why were apart," and "I still care very much about us," and my personal favorite "I don't think I'll ever get over us completely" . It all seems like BS because she always insists that us being apart is for the best and she doesn't want a second chance. Not yet anyhow. So my question is: do I break the ice with a text or call telling her about this show, or just let it ride and see what happens? Both of us are dating others, but I don't THINK that all the feelings are gone. I know I still want her back, but the time we've spent apart has brought a new me to light. That's good. Any advice?
Illusion24 Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 You're going through the same thing as me and my EX...How weird is that?? I was dating someone and I cut it off because well for many reasons but one of them is because I realized I still have feelings for him. Just like your EX I feel we can't be together at least not yet because I can't believe from one day to the next the love I had for him just POOF dissappeared when I was crazy for him. I'm trying to remember where it went. Maybe she's going through the same thing. Being with other people may and may not help. I ended it with the guy I was dating because I didn't want to jump from relationship to relationship and make a rebound kinda thing. That guy she's dating is maybe a rebound and she really really doesn't feel the same way as she did for you but she hasn't realized that yet. My EX and I decided to stay in touch...but not everyday. If we want to talk to each other we do, If he wants to text me and I want to text him we do...We're leaving it up in the air but WE BOTH CAME TO THAT DECISION. So if you feel right about doing it, then do it. If you're feeling better about the NC then don't break it. If it's helping you to cope with the break up don't contact her unless you can excpet whatever it is she has to say whether it's good or bad. Try not to talk about teh relationship and about what happened when you talk to her. Talk about what's new, how's work, what's she's done in the past couple of days.
NTB Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 i wouldn't text or anything to let her know about the show just do what you gotta do go to the show do your stuff and if you happened to run into her then just say hi and move on WOW that sounded really easy to say but i know it is harder to do i know cause this happen for me a while back but anyway keep it short sweet and simple
Author outdated Posted May 19, 2005 Author Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever You're going through the same thing as me and my EX...How weird is that?? I was dating someone and I cut it off because well for many reasons but one of them is because I realized I still have feelings for him. Just like your EX I feel we can't be together at least not yet because I can't believe from one day to the next the love I had for him just POOF dissappeared when I was crazy for him. I'm trying to remember where it went. Maybe she's going through the same thing. Being with other people may and may not help. I ended it with the guy I was dating because I didn't want to jump from relationship to relationship and make a rebound kinda thing. That guy she's dating is maybe a rebound and she really really doesn't feel the same way as she did for you but she hasn't realized that yet. My EX and I decided to stay in touch...but not everyday. If we want to talk to each other we do, If he wants to text me and I want to text him we do...We're leaving it up in the air but WE BOTH CAME TO THAT DECISION. So if you feel right about doing it, then do it. If you're feeling better about the NC then don't break it. If it's helping you to cope with the break up don't contact her unless you can excpet whatever it is she has to say whether it's good or bad. Try not to talk about teh relationship and about what happened when you talk to her. Talk about what's new, how's work, what's she's done in the past couple of days. Hi NSN- I have no trouble talking to her whatsoever. I really don't. I have my feelings in check and know that I want to give it another try if the moment arises. It's her that has the problem talking to me. It seems that she has had a harder time getting over it than me, but maybe I'm just detached from reality. If she's having such a problem getting over me, doesn't she realize she didn't have to and doesn't have to put herself through this? All I know is that as Mick jagger once said so eloquently "Time is on my m*********ing side b****!" Or something like that. All i know is that if I run into her without warning- it could be bad. She can't see me right now- she's told me that. But yet, part of her won't leave me alone. I don't want to break NC yet, but I don't want her to feel cornered. Is there a right way to handle this?
Illusion24 Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 Is there a right way to handle this? You're asking a blind person to walk with you...Honestly, if she's not ok talking to you, maybe she needs her time to deal with her issues. She's probably going through bigger things than what she's telling you. From what you tell me, you're not the problem here she is...Just go on your way to better yourself and don't worry so much about what she's going through. You don't want to pressure her either. If she needs you she knows where you are, if she want to talk she knows your number and knows how you feel about keeping in touch with her. Don't stop your life because she's at easae with hers. I tell my EX all the time through all this that we're going through...If you meet someone else I have to step back and respect that...I don't expect him to wait forever...You shouldn't wait either!
Author outdated Posted May 19, 2005 Author Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever You're asking a blind person to walk with you...Honestly, if she's not ok talking to you, maybe she needs her time to deal with her issues. She's probably going through bigger things than what she's telling you. From what you tell me, you're not the problem here she is...Just go on your way to better yourself and don't worry so much about what she's going through. You don't want to pressure her either. If she needs you she knows where you are, if she want to talk she knows your number and knows how you feel about keeping in touch with her. Don't stop your life because she's at easae with hers. I tell my EX all the time through all this that we're going through...If you meet someone else I have to step back and respect that...I don't expect him to wait forever...You shouldn't wait either! I know I'm being rather abstract NSN- I don't mean to be and I appreciate your advice. I guess that I just wanted to know from people that have experienced this kind of thing if it's better to just let the run in occur or alert her to it's impending reality. Neither one is of much bother to me. Please disregard all the other ramblings...
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