mike2388 Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I visited Hawaii to see him. Intense feelings developed while I was there in both of us. We continued talking everyday since then. The other day things were completely normal as we were texting. I brought up possibly visiting Hawaii for a few nights for Halloween. He got excited at first, asking "are you going to visit or na? lol" I told him that I wanted to and asked if he wanted me to. He went on to say he really wants me too but he feels like it would make things emotionally harder. He said it pains him to even say that. He says that after I left Hawaii he was depressed for about a month straight. He said he honestly can't see this going very far. His life is in Hawaii, and mine here in LA. And he can't do a LDR as the monthly visits won't cut it for him. He goes on to say he'd like to maintain friendship, phone calls, and occasional visits even. It hit me really hard in the heart. I've never felt for someone the way I did for him. I told him to I wasn't going to be able to talk to him anymore for the sake of my feelings. It's been 4 days without talking and it's super hard. A couple mornings later I get a voicemail from his best friend "Hey, I was just making sure you're doing Okay. Jordan is not doing so well so I wanted to check up on you." He is currently a student and will graduate in May. I've already established my career out here. He is from here and has family and friends here. A selfish part of me wonders why he can't just graduate and move back here. Just venting. Is this really the end of things? Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 An LDR cannot work unless both people really, really want it to work. He's already decided it won't work for him. Please don't call him or chase him. Leave him be and move on until you find someone who appreciates you and is willing to put in the effort to be with you. You deserve that someone. LDR is hard enough when both people love each other and want it to work. It's pretty much impossible when that isn't the case. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Yes, it looks as though it really is the end. Sorry, OP. He did the right thing by letting you go now, knowing he wouldn't be able to make it work. I get where he's coming from. For many people, myself included, LDRs are just not feasible. I think you were correct in saying you can't really just be friends as it's too hard for you. Go No Contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Of course it can't work. He says his life is there and yours is in LA, so what would be the point of wasting your life and your youth spending it on the computer or on your cell phone Skyping with him every day wishing things were different? At the end of the day, you're still alone every day, every night, every weekend, every holiday, and every significant day of your life. For what? Let it go and find a healthy relationship you can actually nurture in real time. Link to post Share on other sites
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