Meli22 Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Someone else suggested he may be doing it to get a reaction out of me. Nobody knows I've reacted to it, just close friends. I haven't posted anything on social media or anything (not that he can see because we aren't friends anyway). But a friend suggested not everything is about me and maybe he did just add her because he finds her attractive. Unless your ex is a total moron, I doubt he'd add your cousin to try it on out of the millions of other girls in the world. He's probably doing it for a reaction. Tell your cousin to delete him, I would. In fact I did when I broke up with my ex. I told all my family members to delete him off Facebook just so I couldn't be tempted to look at his page via them.
Shock148 Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Someone else suggested he may be doing it to get a reaction out of me. Nobody knows I've reacted to it, just close friends. I haven't posted anything on social media or anything (not that he can see because we aren't friends anyway). But a friend suggested not everything is about me and maybe he did just add her because he finds her attractive. That could be true as well. If that's the case so be it. You aren't together anymore so anyone else is free game. Maybe your cousin will end up liking him back and dating him. If so, it really is not none of your business to tell your cousin to not date him. 1
Author cookiejar Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 Why is he adding her? Why did she accept the request? I would ask your cousin to get rid of him out of respect for you. I would ask her to get rid of him but is that my place? She said she added him thinking it was someone else until she realized who he was .. She was talking to/almost dating his brother at one point so that could also be why he added her. I'm not really sure.
Author cookiejar Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 Unless your ex is a total moron, I doubt he'd add your cousin to try it on out of the millions of other girls in the world. He's probably doing it for a reaction. Tell your cousin to delete him, I would. In fact I did when I broke up with my ex. I told all my family members to delete him off Facebook just so I couldn't be tempted to look at his page via them. He's not friends with anyone else in my family, just her. My friends think it's petty to delete him over us breaking up. I'm not tempted to look at his page from theirs. He was never big on social media. I would ask her to delete him but is it my place? She and I are not very close. I was just curious as to why the add since she is a minor and he could go to jail if he decided to pursue things.
Author cookiejar Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 That could be true as well. If that's the case so be it. You aren't together anymore so anyone else is free game. Maybe your cousin will end up liking him back and dating him. If so, it really is not none of your business to tell your cousin to not date him. I know it is none of my business but that's just me. I wouldn't do that to someone out of respect but I understand your point.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 That could be true as well. If that's the case so be it. You aren't together anymore so anyone else is free game. Maybe your cousin will end up liking him back and dating him. If so, it really is not none of your business to tell your cousin to not date him. Um.. it is her business. You don't date your best friend's ex let alone a relative's ex. What kind of white trash does that.. 1
Shock148 Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Um.. it is her business. You don't date your best friend's ex let alone a relative's ex. What kind of white trash does that.. No it is not her business. Last I checked she has no control over her cousin. She doesn't pay her cousins bills, provide her with a living, or support her so how is it her business who she chooses to date? How petty would it look if you come out of nowhere and tell your cousin "dont date my ex because I dont want you to for whatever reason." That makes you look insecure and juvenile. A better approach would be to simply ignore them and if the cousin asks her opinion she should just state do what you want to do but he was not good to me so watch out, maybe he will be good to you. That's the mature way of handling it.
Author cookiejar Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 No it is not her business. Last I checked she has no control over her cousin. She doesn't pay her cousins bills, provide her with a living, or support her so how is it her business who she chooses to date? How petty would it look if you come out of nowhere and tell your cousin "dont date my ex because I dont want you to for whatever reason." That makes you look insecure and juvenile. A better approach would be to simply ignore them and if the cousin asks her opinion she should just state do what you want to do but he was not good to me so watch out, maybe he will be good to you. That's the mature way of handling it. While I wouldn't be okay with it, she could date him. He IS a good guy and he was good to me, he just didn't feel like he could give me what I wanted (That was our reason for breaking up). Maybe he feels he could give it to her since she's 16. I don't think she expects as much as someone who is 25 does in a relationship. Anyways, I don't think I'm going to stress is until I have to. I just seem to find I'm concerning myself with whether or not they're private messaging or texting or not, which again is also none of my business.
Shock148 Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 While I wouldn't be okay with it, she could date him. He IS a good guy and he was good to me, he just didn't feel like he could give me what I wanted (That was our reason for breaking up). Maybe he feels he could give it to her since she's 16. I don't think she expects as much as someone who is 25 does in a relationship. Anyways, I don't think I'm going to stress is until I have to. I just seem to find I'm concerning myself with whether or not they're private messaging or texting or not, which again is also none of my business. Better question is why the hell would a 25 year old flirt or want to be with a 16 year old? Ummm thats pedophile. Good guy or not he has issues.
Author cookiejar Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 Better question is why the hell would a 25 year old flirt or want to be with a 16 year old? Ummm thats pedophile. Good guy or not he has issues. I am 25, he is 20.
Author cookiejar Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 Lol, see. That is why I find it odd.
Author cookiejar Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 cookie just move on. I am 100% trying to.
Author cookiejar Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 I haven't updated or posted in over a month. I have however been on here reading peoples threads and such. I find though that I don't miss my ex much and when I'm on here it makes it worse. It's been 78 days of complete and full no contact on my end. I have good days and bad days just like all of you but I no longer dwell on them or let them get to me. Yes it's hard and I still find myself sometimes hoping he comes back but deep down it's settling in that he probably won't ever. I discovered as of late he has deleted me off of all social media except for Snapchat. He still views my stories 8/10 times I post them which I find odd. Anyone elses exes do that? It makes me wonder why he still has me as a friend on there and why he still views my stories. But I can't think about it or dwell on why he does either of those things. It does make me feel some type of way that he views them though. Maybe he misses me and doesn't want to completely disconnect yet or he's just curious. I'll never know. But I do hope that all of you somehow find your inner peace without your exes and things ease up for you. I'm here if anyone wants to chat or needs some advice on no contact and how I've gone so long without trying to contact my ex.
Author cookiejar Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 I am almost 4 months no contact w/ my ex. He ended thing as he felt we were no longer a good match for each other. I have respected his wishes and have not tried to talk to him at all. Since then he's spoken with my friends a few times but hasn't mentioned me. I've been doing very well the past few months. Going out with friends, meeting new people, and getting back to old hobbies I had given up. I think today is the worst day I've had since our break up (past the initial shock phase which lasted about a week). My best friend told me about his encounter with my ex two days ago, my cousin with her encounter with him yesterday, and of course today I ran into him myself. He didn't see me and I wasn't going to make myself noticeable. But since seeing him I've cried twice (I never cried after we broke up). I'm not sure why I'm crying. I miss him so much it's literally hurting me. I'm not sure if I miss him or if I just miss the idea of having someone like him. He never did anything terrible to me, just kind of bowed out gracefully. I noticed he still watches my snapstories on snapchat but hasn't reached out. I find a part of me wishing he would. I'm not sure why as it wouldn't do anything for me except get my hopes up. :/ I just figured I'd update here rather than talking to friends because they think it's ridiculous I still feel this way after 4 months. I'm just so teary eyed and exhausted. I want to curl up in a ball and cry for the rest of the evening. FML. I apologize for the rambling. 1
Jay1821 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You will be ok cry let your emotions out and keep on pushing foward I think you are like me just miss the ideal of the relationship but when someone exits your life it's to make room for someone else I was in a 7 yr relationship and my ex gf just dint love me in that way anymore it hurt like hell but everything happens for a reason I'm not going to sit here and beg someone to be in my life that dosnt want to stay strong and keep positive just Rember everything happens for a reason
DontBreakEven Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm right here with you. I just broke NC after 10 weeks because I am hurting so much I just cannot take anymore ... and I know that was pointless because all it's going to do is mess with my head. I know that I miss both her, as well as having someone in my life. I definitely miss having someone, but it can't be anyone, and no matter who comes across my way, all I think about is her. I miss HER. I too want to curl up in bed all night, but I made plans with my mom to do this painting thing tonight. I guess I picked a bad day to feel utterly defeated and break NC.
itisdanielle Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I know how you feel. It's been 2 months NC for me and I've had a weekend of struggles with it. Don't beat yourself up about being upset. Sometimes crying is necessary and it does actually help! I had a good cry today and felt miles better afterwards. You just need to let it all out. But try to keep busy and you will eventually get there, we all will
Jay1821 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Pain is only temporary and for us men stay alpha nobody likes a needy non confidant beta
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