JasmineJones Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 In the very early stages of connecting with someone....say 4 or 5 dates into it...do you carry on dating other people regardless of how much you like the guy/girl?
PegNosePete Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 I date one at a time, makes it so much simpler. 5
RoseVille Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 If I like him a lot, from the first date, but he doesn't know it. If I'm not sure how I feel, then I continue seeing other people until I like him a lot. Sometimes that never happens. 2
central Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Until I'm ready to be exclusive, I may meet or date others when that option is available. It has happened that I want to be exclusive and they don't, so if I have other prospects I don't have to start all over from scratch. Usually, mutually deciding to be exclusive happens around the 5th or 6th date. 2
TheBathWater Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 It really all depends. Ideally, I prefer one at a time. But really, I feel seeing other people is okay either until the conversation happens and/or until sex is introduced. Generally speaking, after a handful of dates, you should know whether or not you want to be seeing someone. Any longer than that and you start to run into the commitment-phobic types or players. 3
Toodaloo Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 The only time I multiple date is when I end up with more than one first meet mixed in. Example have a date this weekend thats been booked for a while but then another chap asked me out last weekend so I went. 99% of first meets are going no where. As a rule if I like a guy enough to want to see him again then I tend to back off straight away from all other possibilities. If I don't like him enough to see him again then the question is mute because I don't see them again or make it clear its just friends... With all this dating stuff the best advice I can give you is to keep it simple, keep everything clear in your own head and clearly communicated to others. Watch your back, listen carefully and enjoy.
Author JasmineJones Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 I typically continue dating others
Toodaloo Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 I typically continue dating others Why? If you really like someone why do you want to see others? If you are not all that bothered then why waste your time? Do you have GIGS?
central Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Why? If you really like someone why do you want to see others? If you are not all that bothered then why waste your time? Do you have GIGS? Ooh, harsh! LOL A lot more time is wasted seeing one person you like who doesn't work out, than on seeing others while figuring this out. Usually, there is plenty to time in the week to see others before you can again see the one who may be of more interest. And of course, that can change dramatically if you meet someone else who is obviously better. I've met far better prospects while in the very early stages of dating someone else. Quite honestly, the grass IS greener much of the time. That was the scenario I faced when I met my current wife - she was incredibly more compatible than the very lovely woman I had seen a few times. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 When you have a discussion, one of you asks 'where do you see this going?' or whatever, and you decide to be exclusive. Until that talk, you're absolutely wrong to expect the other person is just dating you.
MissBee Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 In the very early stages of connecting with someone....say 4 or 5 dates into it...do you carry on dating other people regardless of how much you like the guy/girl? After 4 or 5 dates I tend to know if I really like a guy or not and when I really like a guy I lose interest in others. After 4/5 dates for me I know if it's something I want to pursue and if I want to pursue it others fall off. But maybe 1-3 dates, usually for me 1 or 2 is when I might still see others and keep my options open and feel things out. But to be honest with pretty much all my boyfriends I knew I wanted to see them again after date 1 and after date 2 I was just interested in seeing them so I naturally stopped seeing others. I knew they were free to see others if they wanted to, but usually 4/5 dates in is where I ask about that or usually in my experience the guys I date will bring up exclusivity and only seeing each other and seeing how it goes. 2
Author JasmineJones Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 Why? If you really like someone why do you want to see others? If you are not all that bothered then why waste your time? Do you have GIGS? Why throw your eggs in on basket? What is GIGS?
phineas Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 It takes sex & them wanting to be exclusive. I meet a lot of women in their late 30's early 40's that just want FWB's for a few months before deciding they want to be exclusive. Or not. I don't stop looking for other's until I find one that wants to stick around and wants me to herself. 1
kismetkismet Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I tend not to date anyone else after the first or second date. Part of it is time though, i really don't have time to date any more than one person at a time.. I also don't really LIKE the first few dates with anyone, so I'd rather not if I'd met someone I like.
Hopeful30 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 See, you can't measure this in dates. There just comes a moment when you realize that you're not really interested in others. For some it's soon, for others it takes time. It different in every situation.
mystikmind2005 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I definitely prefer to date one person at a time, but i know the reality is that it is hopelessly unpractical. In dating i find their are four types of situation that can occur 1) Anything less than being good enough to continue seeing them. 2) just barely good enough to be worth continuing to see them. 3) Fairly good match, worth continuing but your not 'overly' excited about it. 4) brilliant match, you will pull out all the stops for this one! I will continue to date other women under all above circumstance except number 4! 1
shet Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I've noticed the OP is very fond of posting threads posed as questions, where she then challenges anyone who answers contrary to her opinion. Like she seeks validation of attitudes she dimly senses may be causing her trouble but refuses to acknowledge. Anyhoo. I've tried both ways. Dating one at a time is very slow because you're waiting to see what happens (usually disappointment), and because a given person can/will only see you X regularly. Whereas multidating is time efficient because you can schedule 3 dates a week, but becomes a confusing mess of feelings and presents you with false alternatives, where you focus on the one you like more who turns out to only date you one more time. I think on the whole one at a time is the sensible approach. Humans aren't sensible though.
Celeste.Carol Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 If there is low interest or they are players I can see dating many. I personally am not the type to juggle so much. I really and truly believe when two people meet and it is a powerful connection, importantly a genuine no bull connection, NEITHER, is going to screw it up by multi dating. Not going to happen.
Miss Peach Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I typically continue dating others Same here. I usually date/talk to 3-5 guys at a time until I agree with one of them to become exclusive. I won't keep dating a guy I'm not interested in though. I have pretty direct about it and if a guy asks me out again I tell him it's not a love connection and thank him for taking the time to meet me. Most men have thanked me for being so candid and not disappearing. When I drop a guy I just add a new guy into the mix. But... I don't sleep over or get sexual until I'm exclusive and in a relationship with someone. Most of the time it's just 1-4 dates and a little kissing. The handful of guys that last past that I usually wind up being exclusive with but I keep adding new guys into the mix until the guy tells me he wants exclusivity. If a guy can't make his mind up about me within a few months I will force the issue and make a go/no go decision. I won't date a guy longer than that unless we both want to put our feet in and give it a try.
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