DirtyBerty Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 So after a break up, how long did you wait till your first date? I'm 6 weeks out of a 7 year relationship. I arranged a date for Friday and had a massive freak out and feel bad again the last 2 weeks I've felt good and like I was moving on, but this is a bit of a step backwards I think. A friend of mine said dating helped her so thought I'd try it, but close to backing out now.
Christos Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 After a 6 year relationship, i waited for 3 months. It is true that is was awkward at first. But i got used to it. I like meeting women. It's nice. I think i will keep doing it more often 1
contel3 Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 One week. I really enjoy dating and meeting new people, even after a break up. So it was fun, even though i didnt expect a lot. It took me 3 more months to be over my ex and 6 months later I am still working on my self-esteem. Don't push yourself to date if you don't feel like it and don't compare yourself to others. How soon you start dating is not an indicator of how healed you are.
PegNosePete Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 2.5 years. I had no interest in dating during that time. I was busy enjoying myself, learning to ski, playing in a band, etc.
d0nnivain Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 It depends. When I was the dumper I was so ready for the relationship to be over, I was quickly ready for a new date once I pulled the trigger. I needed more time to lick my wounded ego when I got dumped. If you are ready, you are ready. But if you are not, don't force it. It's not fair to your date if you aren't emotionally present.
Author DirtyBerty Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 When I arranged the date I felt good, but a day later I had a panic attack. Started thinking far ahead and really freaked me out. For some reason it made me want to call my ex again. I'm now back to wanting her back for some reason. I think the date has put me back to square one again. I think I'm just not ready to move on. If I cancel will it make a really big deal? Like I'll be fearing the first date for ages and will be tempted to cancel again?
ScienceGal Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 If you'd take your ex back, you're not ready. I reach a place where I miss the connection and companionship, but not necessarily them as a person. When that happens, I know I'm ready to open myself to the possibility of meeting someone new. There is no time frame, it's all about how you truly feel. For me, it's typically been ~3 months
ScienceGal Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 When I arranged the date I felt good, but a day later I had a panic attack. Started thinking far ahead and really freaked me out. For some reason it made me want to call my ex again. I'm now back to wanting her back for some reason. I think the date has put me back to square one again. I think I'm just not ready to move on. If I cancel will it make a really big deal? Like I'll be fearing the first date for ages and will be tempted to cancel again? 6 weeks is not very long, especially considering the length of your relationship. It doesn't sound like you're ready, and that's ok. You are not back at square one though, give yourself some credit. I am in a strange place where I want to move on, but I don't want to fully let go of my ex. There's a tremendous sadness attached to letting go of the last of him, and my heart doesn't want to. And, that's ok. I'm not ready either. So, I'll keep loving myself and moving forward. I'll get there, and you will too.
central Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 24 year marriage - a few weeks. The marriage was long over, really - I just needed to move out to start dating again.
Meli22 Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Mine was about 2 or 3 months after the break up. Was a really horrible messy break up too.
Author DirtyBerty Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 6 weeks is not very long, especially considering the length of your relationship. It doesn't sound like you're ready, and that's ok. You are not back at square one though, give yourself some credit. I am in a strange place where I want to move on, but I don't want to fully let go of my ex. There's a tremendous sadness attached to letting go of the last of him, and my heart doesn't want to. And, that's ok. I'm not ready either. So, I'll keep loving myself and moving forward. I'll get there, and you will too. Yes I think that's exactly it. For me the first date with someone else is a big deal to me and is finally shutting the door on the relationship once and for all. After the panic attack all I wanted to do was call my ex. Not for anything in particular, just to speak to her. I think it's letting go of her that brought back the feelings of the first couple of days. I think all this means I'm not ready, but do you think I should cancle the date or still go through with it. If in my head I see t as just a one off, with a long gap afterwards?
Shock148 Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Yes I think that's exactly it. For me the first date with someone else is a big deal to me and is finally shutting the door on the relationship once and for all. After the panic attack all I wanted to do was call my ex. Not for anything in particular, just to speak to her. I think it's letting go of her that brought back the feelings of the first couple of days. I think all this means I'm not ready, but do you think I should cancle the date or still go through with it. If in my head I see t as just a one off, with a long gap afterwards? First relationship I had lasted a year and 6 months later I started another serious relationship. That next serious relationship lasted over 2.5 years and it took me a year to start dating again. Everyone is different though.
Cora Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Took me 2 years after my 2 year relationship. I was so hung up on him so it took me a bit longer. Everyone is different though so it all depends on the person and situation I think. I don't think there is a wrong or right timeframe. You have to do what feels right. 2
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