thecrucible Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 I've just been thinking about as I have a friend who noticed a guy I dated about 18 months ago wasn't into me. Basically it was after we broke up that she told me this guy had been trying to flirt with her. while we were still dating I wish I knew this at the time as I could have ended it sooner. Another friend also told me that when we went out on a double date, she noticed him eyeing up other women without my noticing. It's another thing, again, that I wish that she had told me. If you were my friend, would you have told me these things?
Gaeta Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 I tell my friend all the time that she is dating a loser. She doesn't see it and keep excusing him. She will dump him when she is ready to dump him. Probably the same thing with you. Even if they had told you these things you would have hung on to him still.
TunaCat Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 Yes absolutely I would have told you. Now that doesn't mean you would have listened to me as you probably had blinders on, but at least I would know I did what I could.
Author thecrucible Posted October 4, 2015 Author Posted October 4, 2015 I tell my friend all the time that she is dating a loser. She doesn't see it and keep excusing him. She will dump him when she is ready to dump him. Probably the same thing with you. Even if they had told you these things you would have hung on to him still. Well I have learnt a lot since then and have no bad feelings whatsoever towards friends as it was a situation of my own doing. However I do sometimes how they couldn't have mentioned that as I asked for advice at the time and was getting upset and crying a lot. The whole situation was a mess anyway At least one of my best friends got in a massive fight with him and told him to get lost which was awesome when it happened. After all that crap I realised I was dating drama. I've not been in a relationship since. I think this was a major epiphany.
EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 That's really tough. Some people are just flirty by nature, and don't even realize they are doing it. I would have most likely said something to you, just so you had the opportunity to confront him about it.
phineas Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 in highschool my friends GF wanted to have sex with me. I told him ASAP. I did not sleep with her even though she was quite hot. When my friend was dating a soul sucking harpy I told him ASAP.
Tribble Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Bit of a tricky one. I'm not sure I would have told you. Flirting in and of itself isn't necessarily wrong. Some people are naturally this way and would never think of stepping out of line in a relationship. Others will flirt to get laid. So, for me, it's about whether someone stepped out of line. Were they being friendly or trying to get some action when they were 'flirting'? It's so subjective. I'd also likely have not even noticed if someone was flirting with me. Or thought I was over reacting. Also looking and checking out other girls? Was he really? How did your friend notice and not you? But it sounds like this relationship had more issues than just this. In the wider scale of things, should you tell your friend if they're being treated badly and not noticing? Again, I think it's difficult. In my experience, my best friend did not like the guy I was dating. I understand why. To her, he was hurting me, not treating me right etc. The way I process issues, is to talk about them. Complain, talk them through to sort out my thoughts. To her. Which meant she got the bad end of things. She made her thoughts very clear when we broke up and were considering getting back together. And I did not appreciate her interference. I didn't ask her opinion and it was my decision to make, not hers. And I needed the people in my life to support my decision that I made for me. I have realised that I need to not bring her into my problems and using her as a sounding board. She finds it difficult to see me hurting, even though I was over reaction half of the time. I suppose the point is, it isn't as easy as telling/ not telling. It can affect your friendship. I wont talk to my friend about my dating life any more because I don't want to put that burden on her. But as a friend, that's what you should do. Sometimes people don't want to hear it.
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