Starting no contact after a month of talking.. needing encouragement

[shiggybop]

We broke up August 27, he broke up with me. I was so afraid of losing him and not having him in my life that we talked all day, every day like we did when we were together. Mid-september, I tried to do NC for a week. I only made it to three days and we continued talking, and even had sex twice in between then and now. Now it's starting to affect my mental health enough to the point where I feel depressed. I went to see a counselor on campus and it helped me a little bit. We haven't talked since Friday morning, but I've been checking his social media up until today when I installed a site blocking app. This all seems really unorganized, but I'm just typing as I feel.

 

This is the technical 2nd day of no contact and I feel like poo. I'm afraid of him moving on without me and being with someone who is going to pull him out of his depression, the same thing that I tried to do but couldn't. I'm afraid that he's going to forget about me because we're not talking. I'm afraid he won't want anything to do with me or a potential friendship at the end of this. Not talking to him sucks and I'm really looking for encouragement.

 

I want us to be friends, honestly, without any ulterior motive. But I know that it can't happen right now. I was hoping that he and I would be different because being without him physically pains me. But I can't keep talking to him at the expense of my mental health. We were only together for five months, so why do I feel so bad?

Edited October 4, 2015 by shiggybop

[Lilac Love]

Why did he end the relationship?

[shiggybop]

Why did he end the relationship?

 

Because of his depression, which was long-standing way before he met me. He has a lot to reconcile with from his past. I think we both expected us being together to fix his depression and that was wrong.