Gaeta Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 Here's an easy one for you this morning. Sometimes the silliest little thing can make or break the image you have of someone. I had a second date with a man last night. He's 46, well put together, educated, comes across as a gentleman. When our plates got to the table I see him take his chewing gum out of his mouth, look around, then he proceeds to stick it under the table !!!!! I look at him with eyes bigger than quarters! Me: Are you ticking your gum under the table?? Him: laughs and says yes I got in my purse and pulled out a piece of paper, extended my hand toward him and said 'put in in there' showing the paper in my hand like he's 6 years old !! he executed himself. Would that make you laugh or break the image you have of someone?
EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 That alone wouldn't break my image of someone. Although I do find it very.... odd. I haven't heard of anyone doing that since grade school. I would have reacted the same way you did!
losangelena Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 It would probably make me laugh in the moment, but then watch to see if it was compounded by other questionable behavior.
Author Gaeta Posted October 4, 2015 Author Posted October 4, 2015 I am afraid it kind of set the dynamic of our relationship. Like he can be a 6 yo and I'll mother him.
EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 I am afraid it kind of set the dynamic of our relationship. Like he can be a 6 yo and I'll mother him. Did it already set the dynamic? Or are you afraid that it will? I'd definitely keep an eye out for more of this type of behavior, but maybe that's just a quirk of his? It's hard to tell without knowing what else he does to this effect.
GemmaUK Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 It would probably make me laugh in the moment, but then watch to see if it was compounded by other questionable behavior. I would do this ^^^ but I wouldn't let it set any dynamic. How is that happening? If he is behaving like a 6yo he doesn't take responsibility and that's one trait I'll never pass up instinct wise ever again.
MrMeh Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 But,but,but,... it's because he doesn't want it to stay in stomach for 7 years. *sigh*
Author Gaeta Posted October 4, 2015 Author Posted October 4, 2015 But,but,but,... it's because he doesn't want it to stay in stomach for 7 years. *sigh* hahahaha !! thanks for the laugh! My mom use to say that all the time.
Hopeful30 Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 Honestly? I would probably do that myself if I had no other options LOL but not at a fancy place, only a McDonalds type place. ANd yes, there are little things that can seriously turn me off too. But it's not the things themselves that are unattractive, it's what they represent. Gum under the table in itself isn't a nasty, horrible thing to do. But it demonstrates lack of respect for the restaurant and, for me, lack of class. But then again, not everyone can be classy ALL the time. For me it's less what he does than how he understands the world around him.
Author Gaeta Posted October 4, 2015 Author Posted October 4, 2015 I was wondering if men would think it's 'cute' if a woman did that. We women tend to forgive men for childish behavior as if it's normal for men to act like children at times.
lgspot Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 Kinda see a double standard developing. If I were with a date at a nice restaurant and "she" did that, I'd still be shaking my head and afraid to look under her bed. I wouldn't be thinking she was relationship material at 40+ years of age. I assume the establishment had a restroom within walking distance with disposal receptacle? Next....
lgspot Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 I was wondering if men would think it's 'cute' if a woman did that. We women tend to forgive men for childish behavior as if it's normal for men to act like children at times. Funny. I was writing that very thing as you posted. :laugh:
thecrucible Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 That would put me off too. I can't stand when people show disregard for surroundings and don't have actual table manners. Things that could put me off as I observe - how he interacts with service staff; the first time I see him in a bad mood/having a bad day and how he handles it; how he talks about exes and other women in general; whether he cleans up after himself (i.e. the state of his living space)
JGirl83 Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 It wouldnt make me laugh because i see it as him disrespecting the restaurant- in a way. I would be shocked and disappointed and it would show. However im very strict when it comes to things like that so a lot of people would think my reaction is over the top, im aware of that. Many years ago i had a big fight with a guy i was in a newish relationship with because on the way home from a night out he proceeded to put his feet with shoes on onto a seat opposite ours on the train. I felt it was rude and couldnt hold it in and went on lecturing him. ( we made and stayed together for 20 months and he was really a great,respectful and mature guy) I reflect back on that and can see i was over the top. I work with kids so teaching good manners is a part of my job..thats a rubbish excuse. The truth is im just very anal about such things. My dating life would be easier if i was more flexible on this area: my shortest date was with a guy who 1 minute after meeting me at the train station, while walking to the pub, made a hkkccr sound and spat on the sidewalk. I just said 'no way' and walked away
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