isabellemarss Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 My best friend of almost 9 years directed a play in our university. It's a requirement for his major and a big deal because it only happens once in their four years in college. It's one of the most awaited events of the year because the plays by Communications majors are usually the best (yes, even better than the Theatre Ensemble). The show dates were from Wednesday until Saturday. As luck would have it, I had tons of deadlines piled on me this week. I was up to my neck and I barely got enough sleep. I planned on watching the last show on Saturday 6 PM since I was sure I was free by then. But I had a project defense earlier that was supposed to end by 6, but actually ended around 8. As soon as I got home I sent him a message on Facebook saying how sorry I was and how I felt bad for missing it. This was what I said: "Hey, I know I made a huge mistake by missing your play. You know how I excited I was to see it earlier, but I didn't expect my project defense to last that long. Anyway, I'm not gonna try to excuse myself because I understand if you're mad at me. But I just want to apologize and I feel really terrible right now." He saw the message but didn't reply to it. I probably made an unforgivable mistake by not being there to see his success. I don't want to not blame myself at all, but this week has literally been one of the most taxing in my entire life. I did everything I can to make sure I could watch the play but it wasn't to be. This is probably the first time I have gotten into a serious falling out with a friend and I don't know how to handle it.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 You apologised, leave it at that, let him come to you when he's ready. He might be a little mad at you right now but if you're truly 'best friends' it'll blow over. I can see both sides. On one hand, he should understand and respect your studies come first, once he cools down. On the other hand in his shoes if it really meant so much to me for you to be there, I'd wonder why you weren't organised enough to get your work done before the play. Though I don't really know how or when this work was allocated to you so perhaps that would be impossible. You apologised, owned up to it, explained the reason and that's really all you can do. In such a long friendship, something like this isn't exactly going to ruin it all. Try and stop stressing out right now, I know it's uncomfortable and painful when you know you've disappointed or let down a friend but there's nothing to gain by trying to force him to respond. It would be a good move to send him some flowers or a basket of baked goods to his house right now with a 'congratulations' card attached for his achievement in directing the play, it will show him that you will go to some effort to make things right again 1
d0nnivain Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 You apologized. Social media would not have been my choice for the apology but oh well, you still tried. You had school too. It's not like you blew your friend off to party & get drunk. He should get over it. Reach out again as normal in the friendship. If the production was recorded watch the tape at least. 1
Author isabellemarss Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 We talked last Sunday, turns out he's not that mad. Just disappointed that I couldn't see it. But we're definitely okay now. He even offered to get the tape for me to watch, which is cool. Thanks for the input guys 3
Winterina Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 I would have to think why is it that you have to apologize at all so much for having to study? You have your life, he has his. You are not married. Just from my own experience with the same situation, you might be a people pleaser and your friend might be so much into himself and think that everyone owes him admiration. Just a suggestion. (Do you run errands for him? Does he have a mass of bffs? Does he do anything substantial for you? Are you the person that never asks anything for themselves and tip toes around others trying to please them?)
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