Trying to mend my broken heart

[Lost220]

Hello,

 

My boyfriend of 1.5 years recently broke up with me thru a text. I was heart broken. I thought I deserved more then a text even though he said he didn't plan it and was sorry.

I could sense things were off so I asked him if we were ok. He responded that he thinks we are wasting each others time and doesn't have the energy to fix us anymore.

Long story short this is are second time getting back together.

He broke up with me and we were trying again. We were only broken up for about a little over a month. The second time around, i dont think he was really trying that hard. He wasn't really communicating with me and we argued a lot and had a lot of misunderstandings.

Anyways, we decided to exchange things we had at each others houses and that was really hard cuz he was really nice about it.

He told me he was sorry even tho it probably doesn't mean anything now as he hugged me I couldn't help but sob into his arms. That's probably the last time I'll ever see or here from him.

We haven't contacted each other since and I don't plan to even though I thought about it at first.

When it first happened, I thought about trying to change his mind and fighting for him but then I got some sense in me and decided not to. If he wants me in his life he would put me there.

Sorry so long, I'm in so much pain and Im trying to get thru it. I hear a lot of the same things and I've been reading a lot about break ups and healing.

Just curious if anyone else has any wisdom.

 

I want to move on I'm sure he has. I'm sick of dwelling and felling sorry for myself. I want him to be happy, but I guess I can't make him happy. I'm jealous of his future relationships and i don't want to be he's a great guy and deserves to be happy.

Its so hard not to think about him or miss him. Its really sad

[louxor]

Hello,

 

My boyfriend of 1.5 years recently broke up with me thru a text. I was heart broken. I thought I deserved more then a text even though he said he didn't plan it and was sorry.

I could sense things were off so I asked him if we were ok. He responded that he thinks we are wasting each others time and doesn't have the energy to fix us anymore.

Long story short this is are second time getting back together.

He broke up with me and we were trying again. We were only broken up for about a little over a month. The second time around, i dont think he was really trying that hard. He wasn't really communicating with me and we argued a lot and had a lot of misunderstandings.

Anyways, we decided to exchange things we had at each others houses and that was really hard cuz he was really nice about it.

He told me he was sorry even tho it probably doesn't mean anything now as he hugged me I couldn't help but sob into his arms. That's probably the last time I'll ever see or here from him.

We haven't contacted each other since and I don't plan to even though I thought about it at first.

When it first happened, I thought about trying to change his mind and fighting for him but then I got some sense in me and decided not to. If he wants me in his life he would put me there.

Sorry so long, I'm in so much pain and Im trying to get thru it. I hear a lot of the same things and I've been reading a lot about break ups and healing.

Just curious if anyone else has any wisdom.

 

I want to move on I'm sure he has. I'm sick of dwelling and felling sorry for myself. I want him to be happy, but I guess I can't make him happy. I'm jealous of his future relationships and i don't want to be he's a great guy and deserves to be happy.

Its so hard not to think about him or miss him. Its really sad

 

These situations are really hard, but like im sure you've heard several times already, I would suggest continuing to cut him off 100%. If you think you'll be jealous of his future relationships then cutting him off will mean you wont even know about them or what he is up to - ignorance is bliss.

 

Similarly by not having constant reminders of him you will slowly start to forget. Some days will be hard, some better, but as you go on these bad days will start to be less. For the time being focus on you and what makes you happy. Being content with yourself is the #1 key to recovering from a break up.

[Lost220]

I've heard and read it all before. Time heals all is that really true? And too keep myself distracted which is hard. I have a lot of things I could be doing I just never want to. I hate feeling this way and I don't want to anymore. I can't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend. I wonder if he's ok and of he thinks about the or misses me.

I suppose it doesn't really matter anyways. I am trying to focus on myself. I am so badly hurt.

I can't help but think in the back of my mind that he will contact me someday in the future. Maybe its just wishful thinking I guess he doesn't really have a reason to.

I'm just trying to move on and better myself as well as forgive him and myself.

I hope this gets easier. I really liked him. By no means have I or will ever contact him.

[Lost220]

I could tell my boyfriend was about to break it off both times. I'd have to say one thing that hurt the most is his body language towards me when I wanted to kiss him when he came over.

Not sure if he realized it or not but he basically was very unhappy about it the look on his face his body language he basically didn't want to.

Not sure if its cuz he felt guilty and wanted to breakup but didn't know how or what.

I know he didn't want to hurt me. I just wish he was more up front with it and talked to me how he was feeling versus a week later just breaking up thru text.

I could tell something was wrong. He never wanted to deal with things with me. Maybe that's more him then me. The first time he broke it off he had to move and deal with things.

Instead of dealing with things together as a couple he breaks it off saying he has a lot to figure out now but maybe we can be friends or try again in the future.

It hurt me he didn't want my support. I just didn't understand it and still kind of dont. Usually you want the support of your significant other during hard times

[Satu]

Put your energies into yourself.

 

We each have our own healing to do, and we can't do it for someone else.

 

Everything begins and ends with you.

 

 

Take care.

[singme2sleep]

I understand how you're feeling, my ex pushed me away and broke up our relationship because he's depressed and I still find it hard to comprehend why he wouldn't want me with him while he's struggling. But men think differently than women do, especially in these kind of circumstances. When did you break up?

[Xidion]

It's essentially the same as if someone you love dies. They are there, and then the very next day, they aren't. you're left feeling hopeless about the situation. you have to mourn and grieve just as if they died.. the only difference is, they chose to walk out of your life, which you can use as motivation to tell yourself that you deserve better. you deserve someone that will stand by you through thick and thin.

[Lost220]

I understand how you're feeling, my ex pushed me away and broke up our relationship because he's depressed and I still find it hard to comprehend why he wouldn't want me with him while he's struggling. But men think differently than women do, especially in these kind of circumstances. When did you break up?

 

We broke up September around the 18th and exchanged our things about a week later.

[Lost220]

I understand how you're feeling, my ex pushed me away and broke up our relationship because he's depressed and I still find it hard to comprehend why he wouldn't want me with him while he's struggling. But men think differently than women do, especially in these kind of circumstances. When did you break up?

 

We broke up September around the 18th and exchanged our things about a week later. This was also are second time trying.

[singme2sleep]

We broke up September around the 18th and exchanged our things about a week later.

 

We broke up September 23rd and exchanged our stuff 2 days later. I haven't heard from him since.

[Itachi]

You need to move on and get pass on what happened prior to your break up.

 

I know its very difficult and we try to over analyze every word, action and intention of our exs but sometimes that's impossible and you are setting yourself up to despair.

 

Unfortunately, we cannot know and discern our exs thoughts, actions and intentions.

 

If you tried your best to fix your relationship but they still want to leave you.. then they are not committed to you and they don't want to do the hard work.

 

It is difficult, painful and hard but you need to work on moving on.

I know it is because I'm in that state too right now.

[Injen]

Hey Lost220,

 

Time does make it better, but try doing things you enjoy. I am sure you read on other posts that people say work on bettering yourself. I cannot stress how much these two things helped me when I broke up with my girlfriend. As much as hurts now, I know everything gets better with time. You are doing great with NC, keep it up. Go to the gym, listen to music, and work on yourself. Eventually in time you will feel better about yourself. I have been through it myself, and I hope only the best for you in the future.

[Lost220]

We broke up September 23rd and exchanged our stuff 2 days later. I haven't heard from him since.

 

Yea I believe we eachanged our things on Saturday the 26th. It was really hard cuz he was nice about it. He hugged me as I sobbed in his arms and he said he was sorry even tho it doesn't mean anything now.

I was hesitant to hug back at first but I did anyways.

Then I cried more after he left.

 

I'm really mad at myself cuz today I looked on his Facebook page and it made me feel really sad and I regret doing it. I don't have Facebook but I looked using my best friends account. She's not friends with him on Facebook, so I couldn't see much on there which is probably a good thing.

I really regret it. I just wanted too look at pics. I think he recently updated his profile pic and is smiling. he even like his ex girlfriends pic of her dog that he got her when they were together. (I don't really know when cuz I don't have Facebook or understand liking n such)

 

She also liked a few pics of his dog on his page and I don't want to think about it ever again but when I saw those things I felt very betrayed and sad.

 

I know it may not mean anything liking each others photos but it made me analyze things more and think about things I don't want to.

It literally made me cry. Wish I could undo seeing that cuz none of it matters it makes me have more questions and I feel a little jealous.

I want him to be happy but I'm still jealous about it cuz I don't know and I'm not ready to see or her about that which is so stupid of me.

[Lost220]

Hey Lost220,

 

Time does make it better, but try doing things you enjoy. I am sure you read on other posts that people say work on bettering yourself. I cannot stress how much these two things helped me when I broke up with my girlfriend. As much as hurts now, I know everything gets better with time. You are doing great with NC, keep it up. Go to the gym, listen to music, and work on yourself. Eventually in time you will feel better about yourself. I have been through it myself, and I hope only the best for you in the future.

 

Thank you very much. I hope the best for u as well. I made a mistake today by looking at his Facebook page on my best friends account. I don't have Facebook and she isn't friends with him on there so I didn't see much but he update his pic recently and is smiling.

 

his ex girlfriend liked a couple of pics of his dog and he like a pic of her dog.

This made me really upset even though it doesn't matter now and it might not mean anything.

He was with her for 5 years and got her that dog when they were together but now he has a dog of his own.

 

They might just like each others dogs idk but it made me worry think and wonder and sad all at the same time. I sobbed. I don't have Facebook so I don't understand much about it but that crushed me and I really regret doing it.

 

I never liked that he was still friends with her on there while we were together and I asked him once why and it was mostly cuz of the dog I think but he continued to not delete her

Anyways, sorry so long and thanks for your earlier reply. Take care.

[Lost220]

I've been having a hard time with the break up. I have things I should do to keep me busy or my mind off of it and I'm going crazy with my thoughts. Its hard to even work and I don't want to do anything else.

I read things about breakups and coping all the time and I get it. We were not right for each other and I'm trying to move on and go through it.

My brain gets it kind of, but my heart doesn't. My brain and thoughts r always trying to find answers n fix it which it cant be fixed and I already know the answers so why can I just turn off my mind?

I need to discipline my thoughts better and try not to dwell n such but I cant. Its hard to eat and sleep most days and all I do is cry on and off and think and dwell.

Like I said b4, my brain gets it but heart doesn't. Im making myself slightly I'll and just can't deal at times.

 

Does anyone have solutions to heartbreak? Or mindful thinking? Anything? Please help

 

I hope I will soon start to feel better its only been s couple of weeks maybe 2.5. My body is hungry and I'm not. How can I make myself do other things when I don't feel like it or want to?

[Draper]

I've been having a hard time with the break up. I have things I should do to keep me busy or my mind off of it and I'm going crazy with my thoughts. Its hard to even work and I don't want to do anything else.

I read things about breakups and coping all the time and I get it. We were not right for each other and I'm trying to move on and go through it.

My brain gets it kind of, but my heart doesn't. My brain and thoughts r always trying to find answers n fix it which it cant be fixed and I already know the answers so why can I just turn off my mind?

I need to discipline my thoughts better and try not to dwell n such but I cant. Its hard to eat and sleep most days and all I do is cry on and off and think and dwell.

Like I said b4, my brain gets it but heart doesn't. Im making myself slightly I'll and just can't deal at times.

 

Does anyone have solutions to heartbreak? Or mindful thinking? Anything? Please help

 

I hope I will soon start to feel better its only been s couple of weeks maybe 2.5. My body is hungry and I'm not. How can I make myself do other things when I don't feel like it or want to?

 

You know in your mind that it's done, and that it's for the best in the long-run. Now you just have to convince your heart the same thing. Easier said than done, I know.

 

The good news is, you're pretty much at rock bottom. There's nowhere to go but up from here and in time you will find your footing. I know the feeling where you don't want to do anything - you don't want to eat, sleep, move, anything. It does get better though, you have to believe that. It feels like everything is falling apart but it isn't. Life goes on, it doesn't stop. Remember all the good times you had? They passed, and now your in the midst of the bad times. You know what though, they will pass too, just like the good times did.

 

There is no prescribed solution to heartbreak, that has to come from within. The advice I can give you is to take this time, a time where you are probably feeling some of the worst pain you have ever felt, and turn it into something positive. Meet new people, do things you've always wanted to do, do whatever it takes to walk out of this a wiser and stronger person. All you can do is be strong, focus on yourself, and know that you will get through this.

 

It's been said that the most painful feeling isn't losing someone you love, it's losing yourself in the process of loving someone more than they deserve. There's truth in that. We have to learn to be content on our own, without the piece of ourselves that we lost when they left. The key is to find ourselves in this terrible time, instead of losing ourselves.

 

Stay strong.

[mightycpa]

You know in your mind that it's done, and that it's for the best in the long-run. Now you just have to convince your heart the same thing.

The heart is honest, but it lies to you.

[Lost220]

I just can't help but think what I put him thru even tho he put me thru a lot too.

I feel badly for making him mad, sad and possibly recentful of me cuz I was too emotionally dependent and attached in an unhealthy way.

[Lost220]

I also can't help thinking maybe if I wasnt as dependent, maybe he wouldn't have been so distant.. And more supportive idk..

But I can't go down this road cuz its torture and doesn't change anything n cause more pain but I can't help it ugh