Leaa Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 long story short - my bf of 2 years broke up with me a month ago and instead of talking to me about it he blocked my number, Facebook, twitter, instagram, EVERYTHING. No matter how many things I wanted to say to him I had no chance. I was super upset but realized he was being incredibly immature and i deserve better. Of course I still love him and think about him ALL the time, but it was very unfair what he did. Anyway, he heard my dog was sick. Instead of unblocking my number and texting me he messaged me on VINE (aka a app that NO ONE uses) because it was the one thing we still had each other on. He asked me how I have been and what happened with my dog, I asked him to text me instead and he said "no, we can just talk on here. I don't want to unblock your number and start talking again." So, we just caught up briefly. I confessed that I still missed him sometimes and he said "So do I." then I didn't answer and he said, "you just get a little crazy sometimes, but I still think about you a lot." He even said later in the convo, "I'm not looking for a relationship and I haven't been with other girls. Lol i'm just focused on my hobbies rn." YET, my friend told me that she saw him on a dating app. If he still missed me and loved me why couldn't he do something as little as text me. Or unblock me.
dumbass2 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 People miss each other after a break up. Both sides. It's natural. Not sure why he sent that message, but I suppose it it is because he found out and still feels a little something. It hasn't been that long. It wasn't right of him to do that. He has made it clear though, that he does not want a relationship with you. He told you he doesn't want a relationship, so he is on Tinder just looking to play around and doesn't want to tell you because he doesn't want to get into it with you. People rarely are fully honest after a break up, but the bottom line is this. He broke up with you and didn't want to continue the relationship. That is fact and that is what you have to tell yourself. People don't break up if they are really into you and really love you and see a future with you.
Author Leaa Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 My ex boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. We tried to keep it civil but then I woke up one day and he ended up blocking my number, my twitter, Facebook, instagram, snapchat, EVERYTHING. So I would have no way of contacting him. I felt like he hated me for a while but maybe that's what he needed to do to move on and get over me, so whatever. We dated for 2 years and he was my absolute best friend, though I feel like towards the end of our relationship I didn't even know him anymore. I was really upset for a while but I'm finally realizing that our relationship wasn't as good as I thought and I don't want him back anymore. We have a lot of mutual friends, and I miss just all hanging out. It sucks how I'm afraid to go out with my friends because I'm afraid to see him. Anyway, I had one opportunity to talk to him a few days ago and I asked if he wanted to grab coffee or something, he said sure. We agreed just to hangout, no fighting (even though I want to tell I'm how immature he is for blocking me on everything and pretty much dead-ing me). Anyway, I'm not sure how to go about this. I will always love him but theres really no feelings there right now, and we're both happier now. I just don't know if I should bring up our relationship, if I should just ask about his life, if i should distance myself, if i should act a certain way?
Author Leaa Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 I'm also STILL blocked on everything...do i ask him to unblock me? Do I act like it doesn't bother me?
PaperCrane Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 It's not immature of him to block you on everything. In fact, it's the opposite. He's doing what he needs to, to heal. What you're doing though, is setting up for failure. Part of NC in early stages is kind of in hopes that your ex will come back to you. The fact he blocked you is infuriating isn't it? You want to know why. You want to talk to him. Unless you want to get back together with him, I advise not talking to him because it'll just do stupid things to both of you and waste both his and your time. This is the reality of it. It's confusing because emotions are clouding your rational judgment. 2
PegNosePete Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Why on earth would you want to have a "meeting" with an ex? Do you really want him to cry on your shoulder over the relationship issues he is having with his new gf? That is what "friends" talk about over coffee, right? What do you hope to gain from this meeting? Exes are exes for a reason. You need to move on. Look forward, not backwards.
dumbass2 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Trust, me I've done this and it was still too soon after 3 months when she contacted me. Do not have this meeting. It is way to soon and you are not sure at this point of your feelings. You can't be. I'm pretty sure you would really like for him to say "let's get back together". There is no other reason why you would want to do this. You more than likely wont get honest answers to any questions you have and I'm sure you have some. You cannot hangout just as friends. You can go ahead and go, because you are curious, but be prepared for more heart break, questions and confusion. That is all it will bring. Months and months down the road, maybe you could do this, but I wouldn't right now. My advice is to cancel and not go. 1
healingsoul Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Leaa, I am very concerned for you that it is too soon for you to meet with your ex-boyfriend. I have heard that it usually takes 6 months to a year before someone can really emotionally safely re-establish a friendship with a person they have dated, that is if they ever re-establish a freiendship. Of course, in your case since you are both in the same friend's group it probably will happen one day. In reading what you wrote, I could tell you still have some emotional ties. Realize that even negative emotions about how he hurt you by cutting you off is a tie or connection. I agree with what a few people have asked, "Do you really need to meet with him?" I also wonder, "What do you hope to accomplish? What good could come from it?"
Chin Up Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 I'm pretty sure you would really like for him to say "let's get back together". Bingo. That's the only reason the dumpee ever wants to meet up with their ex, where the dumper is merely curious as to how you have been. We've all been there, and the majority comes back from their meet-up confused, rejected, pizzed off..basically right back into a fresh world of hurt again, AND..they're kicking themselves in the bum cuz deep down they knew it was a bad idea but put themselves through it in the first place. I also want to add that you're over thinking what he says vs. what he does. Just because an ex says they love and miss you, doesn't mean they want a relationship with you again, or even a friendship. He's blocked you on almost everything. I think that speaks volumes. This is why it's best to break all contact because you'll drive yourself nuts dissecting every little thing he says or does. If I was you I'd tell him that "something came up and I can't make it after all. Sorry about that." and then block him on vine. Take all your energy and focus off of him, and put it on yourself
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