Hello

[Fairynuff]

I'm new here and hope i am posting in the right place. I am involved in a long distance relationship. I live in Britain, he in Ireland.

I miss him like crazy when i come back to England and wondering how others cope with it all. I havent stopped crying since getting back home Thursday after a week with him,

I have been in a physical relationship with him since May, but have known him since February, we met online.

We skype every evening and speak through whats app all through the day. We really love each other. I am going through a break up with my husband who tried to take his own life when he found out i don't love him...no one knows about my LDR only my sister and cousin.

 

What do others do to cope with the missing them? I would be grateful for any replies. I am suffering a terrible depression because of the missing him. When we are together i am fine and so happy.

 

He is 8 years younger than me and is currently restudying so is in college 3 days a week. He has another 3 years to do to get his degree but can leave next year and get a job with the qualifications he has so far. He is so strong at all this where i am not and just miss the physical-ness of it all.

 

Thanks in advance for any replies.

[lchf]

I've been going in and out of this feeling for a long time. My gf of about 3 years and I live about 10,000km away from each other. I'm a citizen in both countries though so I go between regularly and live there with her for a while then I come home. This has been the longest long distance stint we've done, about 4 months and it's been hell for me and her. My depressions never been worse and honestly the only way to get through it for me is to prioritize bringing an equilibrium to my mood even when my significant other is not there. I believe it's hopelessly unhealthy to be desperately depressed when your partner isn't around. So I prioritise exercise, good diet filled with good fat and low sugar, regular contact with supportive people like friends, and having a firm plan about when I will see her next.

 

Is he supportive of you and comforting in your depression? I find being able to communicate everything about how you feel when it comes to depression very important to getting a decent handle on it.

[justwhoiam]

I guess you rushed into things... You are betting everything on a guy who is 8 years younger, in college, with no job and who still has 3 years of study to go.

 

If it ends bad, your depression is likely to take its toll on you. With a husband behind who tried to suicide and you won't have family anymore. Well, you still have your sister I guess. But would that be enough to fill in the void when you already have a hard time copying with being without him for just a few weeks?

 

You draw your conclusions. I'm afraid you made your bed and now you have to lie in it.

 

Regarding copying with the distance, I have endured much more than you, if that can make you feel any better. With a certain amount of drama inbetween. Been there, seen that. I've seen the bad and ugly side of it. There's no sure recipe to make things work. But I guess it requires: lots of devotion, strong personalities, positive attitude, optimism, and most of all, shared effort (that is from both sides). The moment it feels unbalanced and it doesn't get fixed, it's hell.