Taramere Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Women don’t respect, don’t desire, and certainly don’t tingle for excessively agreeable men. We know this from cold hard experience, and we know this from scientific inquiry. What a woman wants is a man who will put her in her place when she’s wrong or being silly. If somebody doesn't respect you, that's not going to change because you try to "put them in their place". More likely they're just going to feel annoyance on top of the lack of respect. You'd be better off focusing less on trying to control or manipulate women's responses to you, and focusing more on developing self respect. 3
losangelena Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Vulvaically is a beautiful word…. should be in Websters. Invokes feelings of a blooming flower. hehehe Roses are red, Violets are blue. Come lay in my bed, I know what to do. har har har God, you're a peach. 1
RoseVille Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 When you threaten violence against women, even when you think you're joking, that says something really bad about you. This is a real thing, it really impacts women's activities and lives on a daily basis, and you're attracting a certain type of woman because you have a certain type of insensitivity yourself. It's not so much the violence as much as the "cage" he regularly references... like a woman is an animal, a pet, a possession to be trained and kept and controlled. Strange. 1
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 It's not so much the violence as much as the "cage" he regularly references... like a woman is an animal, a pet, a possession to be trained and kept and controlled. Strange. And extremely offensive.... 3
lollipopspot Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 It's not so much the violence as much as the "cage" he regularly references... like a woman is an animal, a pet, a possession to be trained and kept and controlled. Well she can't disrespect him or cheat if he keeps her gagged in a cage. It makes perfect sense. 2
losangelena Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 It's not so much the violence as much as the "cage" he regularly references... like a woman is an animal, a pet, a possession to be trained and kept and controlled. Strange. And yet, oddly in line with his thinking that the "olden days" of dating were so much better. Back in the day when women were the literal property of their husbands. Much control; such wow. 1
Gaeta Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I will put a woman in her place when she needs it. Sometimes a woman needs to be put in her place. Thats what I did with this last one…. When you find yourself 'parenting' the person you're dating you may want to revisit your choice of girlfriends. 2
Woggle Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 If you want people to respect you you need to respect yourself. That goes for any types of situation. I would never advocate disrespecting or controlling a woman but being willing to say no goes a long way. I do know from experience. 2
mrldii Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I Googled the phrase in your OP: "watch her face vulvaically glow with desirous urgency as the life-giving waters of his insistent masculinity pour into her thirsty feminine soul..." Now I see where you're getting the advise that's failing you. I Googled the phrase in your OP: "watch her face vulvaically glow with desirous urgency as the life-giving waters of his insistent masculinity pour into her thirsty feminine soul..." Now I see where you're getting the advise that's failing you. I *love* self-help articles written by men that start out with the words "Women Don't Even Know What is Best for Themselves..." Takes me right back to when I was a child, living under my father's roof. Brings back even *fonder* memories of "this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you"... *Almost* invites those who [already] have Daddy Issues. 2
bettermistakes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 OP, in all seriousness, what's going on with you? I mean, only you know, or maybe even *you* don't know. I have to say, you come across to me as bitter and insecure and attention-seeking. Can't speak for anyone else. Maybe you're just lonely and hurting after this most recent breakup you've had, but even if that's all it is I'm thinking there's gotta be a healthier way to work through things. Aannddd.. if I am also I taking into account the number of threads you have and your seeming lack of self-awareness, I'm sorry, but my narcissist alert system has been activated. I know I don't have much to go on and I'm just one person, but... just saying... 6
Author Guyouthere Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 OP, in all seriousness, what's going on with you? I mean, only you know, or maybe even *you* don't know. I have to say, you come across to me as bitter and insecure and attention-seeking. Can't speak for anyone else. Maybe you're just lonely and hurting after this most recent breakup you've had, but even if that's all it is I'm thinking there's gotta be a healthier way to work through things. Aannddd.. if I am also I taking into account the number of threads you have and your seeming lack of self-awareness, I'm sorry, but my narcissist alert system has been activated. I know I don't have much to go on and I'm just one person, but... just saying... My way of understanding it all. Much of what I post here also reflects topics re: dating as a whole which can and will help everyone in the long run.
LostOnes05 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I'm a guy and OP actually isn't that far off from what I've experienced as well. Most recently, I was involved with what I now know to be a narcissistic woman. That being said, this woman went from "I want to marry you, you're the best guy i've met, I'm excited for our future together" etc. to saying that we weren't friends, snapping at me when I was being kind to her, and starting arguments over me putting gas in her car or carrying the groceries. Understanding that she hadn't been in the best of relationships in the past, I tried to approach correcting her with kindness. That only made it worse and I found her to be a poor communicator (hanging up and cursing at me when it wasn't warranted). The breakup came from her end, as she got stressed with something I was willing to help her with (but she declined and it didn't go well). She saw it as an opportunity to indirectly blame me and cut me out. This switch happened within a 2 week period. Someone who was kind and loving suddenly showed me how ugly they really really were. At no point did I yell and scream, because that doesn't work especially for someone who has the mentality that taking advice is beneath them. To me, she seemed to be stuck in the past on a 3-4 yr relationship where she was hit constantly rather than focusing on the man that wanted to be there and treat her well. To that end, I do agree with the OP. Another situation occurred when I went out with a girl for about two months. One day at lunch she starts talking about her ex and how they are talking again. Obviously, this pissed me off and she could tell. I felt lied to but I got over that quickly because she ended up chasing a ghost. I've never been outright mean to women but I've noticed that when I was distant and less than cordial, women would pursue me and never tried to pull stuff like that. Although I was raised to be a gentleman, I know what I bring to a relationship. If I treat a woman well, I expect the same. There are a number of young women (from my POV) that take kindness for weakness. In my case, they respect the abuser (even subconsciously) and challenge the person being good to them, which is obviously counterintuitive. 1
Author Guyouthere Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 I'm a guy and OP actually isn't that far off from what I've experienced as well. Most recently, I was involved with what I now know to be a narcissistic woman. That being said, this woman went from "I want to marry you, you're the best guy i've met, I'm excited for our future together" etc. to saying that we weren't friends, snapping at me when I was being kind to her, and starting arguments over me putting gas in her car or carrying the groceries. Understanding that she hadn't been in the best of relationships in the past, I tried to approach correcting her with kindness. That only made it worse and I found her to be a poor communicator (hanging up and cursing at me when it wasn't warranted). The breakup came from her end, as she got stressed with something I was willing to help her with (but she declined and it didn't go well). She saw it as an opportunity to indirectly blame me and cut me out. This switch happened within a 2 week period. Someone who was kind and loving suddenly showed me how ugly they really really were. At no point did I yell and scream, because that doesn't work especially for someone who has the mentality that taking advice is beneath them. To me, she seemed to be stuck in the past on a 3-4 yr relationship where she was hit constantly rather than focusing on the man that wanted to be there and treat her well. To that end, I do agree with the OP. Another situation occurred when I went out with a girl for about two months. One day at lunch she starts talking about her ex and how they are talking again. Obviously, this pissed me off and she could tell. I felt lied to but I got over that quickly because she ended up chasing a ghost. I've never been outright mean to women but I've noticed that when I was distant and less than cordial, women would pursue me and never tried to pull stuff like that. Although I was raised to be a gentleman, I know what I bring to a relationship. If I treat a woman well, I expect the same. There are a number of young women (from my POV) that take kindness for weakness. In my case, they respect the abuser (even subconsciously) and challenge the person being good to them, which is obviously counterintuitive. Very well said. I'm sorry you had to go through this too. They seem to have that in common. I did so much for mine,,,, and then she just tossed me aside when a guy who looks like her ex (who she wasn't over) came along. It is easy to see how any guy would be disheartened. The most disturbing thin to me is that they can't apologize. Did you encounter that at all?
losangelena Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Yes, but there's a wide chasm between not putting up with a woman's bad behavior and threatening to lock them in a cage. Like everyone has been saying, you can't MAKE someone respect you. Act in a respectable fashion, and likeminded people will respect you. 4
Buddhist Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 After all, nice guys don't get women. Women don't want that. One day you will realise that 'women' are not a hive mind, but individuals. 2
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 (edited) I'm a guy and OP actually isn't that far off from what I've experienced as well. Most recently, I was involved with what I now know to be a narcissistic woman. That being said, this woman went from "I want to marry you, you're the best guy i've met, I'm excited for our future together" etc. to saying that we weren't friends, snapping at me when I was being kind to her, and starting arguments over me putting gas in her car or carrying the groceries. Understanding that she hadn't been in the best of relationships in the past, I tried to approach correcting her with kindness. That only made it worse and I found her to be a poor communicator (hanging up and cursing at me when it wasn't warranted). The breakup came from her end, as she got stressed with something I was willing to help her with (but she declined and it didn't go well). She saw it as an opportunity to indirectly blame me and cut me out. This switch happened within a 2 week period. Someone who was kind and loving suddenly showed me how ugly they really really were. At no point did I yell and scream, because that doesn't work especially for someone who has the mentality that taking advice is beneath them. To me, she seemed to be stuck in the past on a 3-4 yr relationship where she was hit constantly rather than focusing on the man that wanted to be there and treat her well. To that end, I do agree with the OP. Another situation occurred when I went out with a girl for about two months. One day at lunch she starts talking about her ex and how they are talking again. Obviously, this pissed me off and she could tell. I felt lied to but I got over that quickly because she ended up chasing a ghost. I've never been outright mean to women but I've noticed that when I was distant and less than cordial, women would pursue me and never tried to pull stuff like that. Although I was raised to be a gentleman, I know what I bring to a relationship. If I treat a woman well, I expect the same. There are a number of young women (from my POV) that take kindness for weakness. In my case, they respect the abuser (even subconsciously) and challenge the person being good to them, which is obviously counterintuitive. I'm sorry that happened to you ..... most, if not all, of us have been involved in relationships with narcissists and other dysfunctional people at least once in our lifetime. Both men and women, dysfunction is not gender specific. What is important is how we handle the aftermath of that relationship .... You appear to be very well balanced and emotionally stable, despite having experienced what you did. Good for you! :) Hopefully, you even learned something so as to not make the same mistakes you made in those relationships....it takes two to tango as they say. As opposed to creating 20+ threads full of rants and other offensive posts discussing locking women in cages, etc......disguised as jokes. Dating is not easy! For both men and women. Relationships start, relationships end. We live, we learn, we grow, we become stronger for having had the experience.. That's life! There is hope and it's not all bad. I recently got engaged to a great guy, and if you spoke with him, he would tell you the same about me. Love can happen. Just don't become bitter and jaded, stay positive, keep searching and love will happen for you too!! Edited October 3, 2015 by katiegrl 2
lchf Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I have never in my life felt the need to "put a woman in her place" that I have shared any level of mutual respect with, and if the urge to has ever arisen, I have never dated them for any appreciable length of time. 2
Marc878 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I got news for you pal. REAL MEN are comfortable with who they are and LEARN how to treat a woman. There is no way to cover Up being a wimp or Fake. It always comes out. 3
Imported Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 And yet, oddly in line with his thinking that the "olden days" of dating were so much better. Back in the day when women were the literal property of their husbands. Much control; such wow. If only I could go back in time
Marc878 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Here's some real important advice. Common sense is not so common. Guys, pull your head out of your ass. 3
autumnnight Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I am not an advocate of hacking, but if I could figure out how to shut down Reddit, 4chan, and a couple of other website, I would lol. They are giving men horrible, testosterone with a side of jaded, advice. They are the Donald Trump of the relationship world, whose theme songs should be "We're Not Gonna Take It" as their theme song. Which is funny, considering Twisted sister wore makeup and a wig. 1
thecrucible Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I do know I get creeped out by guys who either try too hard or put me on a pedestal to the extent where they don't act themselves and are too scared to offend me. I think a guy should be respectful but I'm not a precious snowflake, I'm a grown woman. I don't want to be treated like a glass ornament that's about to break. I want to be taken care of. But I want to know that the man can be a sexual animal and can ravish me. I feel I am a big girl but I also need to a know a man will protect me if anyone gives me crap, verbally or otherwise. The worst turn off for me was with a former boyfriend who didn't defend me from another person's insults in person because he was too scared to cause an argument. I don't think a guy should be picking fights everywhere but he should care enough to defend me. Well that's my honest answer anyway.
mrldii Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I'm a guy and OP actually isn't that far off from what I've experienced as well. Most recently, I was involved with what I now know to be a narcissistic woman... Another situation occurred when I went out with a girl for about two months. One day at lunch she starts talking about her ex and how they are talking again. Obviously, this pissed me off and she could tell... Oh, well then...yes, I absolutely agree with OP's assessment of "how to get the girl". IF the only type of girl a guy is interested in IS a "narcissist", then by all means...it should work. When - and if - a guy would like a *normal* healthy relationship with a *normal*, healthy, well-adjusted woman, I'd advise against the advice proffered. Jus' sayin'. 1
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Oh, well then...yes, I absolutely agree with OP's assessment of "how to get the girl". IF the only type of girl a guy is interested in IS a "narcissist", then by all means...it should work. When - and if - a guy would like a *normal* healthy relationship with a *normal*, healthy, well-adjusted woman, I'd advise against the advice proffered. Jus' sayin'. ^^Great point! Brilliant actually.
LostOnes05 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I was only agreeing to the fact that some women won't see the good guy in front of them but rather get caught up on the ones that treated them poorly. I'm not into locking women into cages or anything of the sort. That's pretty crazy and I'm quite sure he's probably trolling you guys to get a reaction. However, I don't think anyone is above being corrected if they are out of line...even me. Everyone has their quirks but if someone can't hold a conversation about an issue without hanging up, yelling, and cursing then it's not just a compatibility issue, it's a personal issue. In my case you're forgetting the signs of a narcissist. They start off very sweet and want to make you the center of their world (or so you think). Then when they suddenly change their attitude, it's like where the hell did you come from?! I have not idea who you are! Then they begin to harp on every little thing as if it is a problem, but if you call them out on the attitude it's like starting WW3. And in response to the interest in narcissist comment, I've never seen anyone ever come out and say "Hey, I'm a narcissist...date me at your own risk". Something like that takes time to discover because no one is going to show that at the beginning of a relationship. If people actually wore shirts that said I'm a normal, well-adjusted individual (and it was true), I'd probably be married already. I'm a person that isn't into games or drama. Just want to have someone to share life with, travel, be supportive of each other's goals, and later on have a family...no cages lol (not even for the dogs). **And I appreciate your kind words Katiegrl
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