Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 I'd like to reintroduce the thread that ConfusedinOC started about internet dating. I believe the moderators may have deleted it in its entirety because it referred to a particular commercial internet dating site/service, so please, let's refrain from specifically mentioning the names of these sites (if you must, do so in PM or something). Anywho, the Q was in regards to experience with internet dating, the pros/cons, freaky stories, good luck, etc. I have my own stories to share, but I'd like to hear yours first. (Ok, ok, I'll at least tell ya that I am currently having a wonderful time dating a fantastic guy that I met on one of these sites, but I've had my share of "blah" and/or weird experiences as well....) Dish, folks!
kellyp1 Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 I met a guy that I have dated now for 3 weeks. I am thinking he may be a serial dater as he was on Match for several years and said he never met a girl that he clicked with. We will see if he feels different about me but I would not put all my eggs in one basket. However, with that said, it is a great way to get back into the dating scene if you have been out for awhile. If nothing else, it has given me the confidence to get a date with a guy I have had a crush on for a few months also. If things don't work out with my Match boy (which I hope they do), I can date the other guy that I now know is also interested.
curiousnycgirl Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 I was stuck home recovering from surgery for a few weeks and with nothing else to do, I signed up on a bunch of those sites. Very interesting indeed. Things I've observed: 1. many people don't realize that if things go well, they WILL actually meet in person - therefore lying about their height/weight/etc really doesn't do them any good. 2. a good number of folks appear to be addicted to email and never really have any interest in meeting in person 3. it is AMAZING what some folks think are appropriate introductory lines (EWWWW) Overall if you learn how to be very discriminating in who you choose to correspond with - it is really a very efficient way to meet folks - especially for those of us who are loathe to meet people in bars or heaven forbid singles events! I met a number of very nice men online, some I dated for a few weeks and/or months and I stopped all that when I met my b/f almost a year ago - yes ONLINE.
BigB Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 I've had 2 profiles online for maybe 3 weeks now.. so far I've only had one contact from a girl with no profile, or at least it's "temporarily unavailable" there is a tiny little picture, and it looks like one of my Ex's So far nothing else has happened. I've been browsing lots of profiles, so far nothing has caught my eye enough to contact anyone.
Pendawn Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 Though my experience has been much like Jennifer'sSecret (first gorgeous guy I saw, contacted him, and now been dating 3 months!), I have noticed something, which seems to be that some people just DO NOT read your preferences AT ALL. I specified never married, and had so many seperated/divorce guys contact me. I said under 39, and had guys in thier late 50s contact me! (eeek one looked like my minister!) And I said within 50 miles of my town - and I had guys form other countries contact me! It'd be flattering if I believed it's becuase I'm irresistable but it just reeked of desperation. I do think there are a lot of decent guys out there who just don't like the bar scene, and just for whatever reason don't mean many new single people in their day to day life. My brother is now on an online dating site, and I know he's a TOTAL catch, so they're not all bad.
Debster Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 I met my husband through an online dating service. I also dated about two others pretty seriously. I had no major problems, but did run into the serial-onliners (those that even after a good date go back online in search again), those who only wanted to chat and never met or talked on the phone (I'm thihking they were either married or committeed or big liars). My husband met tons of woman but only about two or three got a second date.
teck21 Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Met my GF on a site more than a year ago. Everyone else I met beofre that was normal/pleasant/not freaky. Just that I didn't meet their expectations or they didn't meet mine.
latida Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 I have a funny story of a friend of mine who met her fiance on an online dating site. This other guy kept feeding her this line about him being single, BUT living w/ his ex-wife and their child b/c she was having a hard time. They continued to talk etc, but never met. Until she realized he lived in her apartment complex, I mean he lived NEXT DOOR to her. Well, that was the end of that. Never mind the fact he was full of crap b/c she knew the real story of her NEIGHBOR! It was just too funny when you were over her house and would see him come out.
Author Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 20, 2005 Author Posted May 20, 2005 For those of you who have wound up in relationships from these sites, when did you decide to take your profile down, if at all? Why? Was there a discussion about it? Did you do it on your own? How about your partner?
LoisLane13 Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 I've dated quite a few people from a popular website....all CRAZY! Well....except for one.....but I learned my lesson. One guy was abusive but was super fun in the beginning, another guy was a jealous prick eventually trying to dictate what I could and couldn't wear.... I dunno....most of the guys I have met turned out to be a big nightmare.....and they hyped themselved up on the site.......my friend met a girl online that was secretly married and on their first meeting the husband had followed her and tried to do some serious damage to my friend. I'm not saying that they are bad, I'm just saying that in the cyberworld, anyone can be anything they want.... and when you finally meet them, you don't always get what you bargained for. Anyone else have bad experiences? LoisLane13
SydneyB Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 I've been lucky to have 2 serious relationships come out of a very popular, well-managed online dating site over the last year or so. I've also had my share of players, losers, sex and porn addicts, and even a confused gay man. But it all worked out in the end. I've encouraged my single girlfriends to give it a shot - as long as you're smart about the situation (that means using GOOD judgment), you'll be able to weed out the morons from the honestly good guys and be safe in the process. My rules: profiles with pictures only - I took the time to upload mine, and I expect the same read between the lines - "looking for fun" and not commitment means JUST THAT exchange numbers first, and if the first conversation goes badly, it just means he was better "on paper" than in reality, so move on to the next contender meet IN PUBLIC, but not in a bar (isn't that what we're trying to avoid?) And last, but certainly not least, BE DISCRIMINATING and only contact people who genuinely interest you and share common interests, morals, and other important stuff. There's lots of profiles in the online dating sea. It's OK to not like him after the first IM, phoen contact, date, etc. If you're like me and you work in suburbia with all the marrieds and you just can't meet any single people, then give it a shot. You can always take down your profile.
blind_otter Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret For those of you who have wound up in relationships from these sites, when did you decide to take your profile down, if at all? Why? Was there a discussion about it? Did you do it on your own? How about your partner? My bf asked me to take it down and I did because he wanted me to. His went down when he went back home for the summer to the UK. He was the first guy I met IRL who I had met online. He emailed me, wanting to hang out, I kept just not responding or being vague. I finally agreed and it was odd and we were both weirded out because neither of us had ever done anything like that. He had just ended a 5 year relationship and was getting back into dating, and I had just ended a year long physically abusive relationship. I decided to try the email thing for a while because I seriously had a list of questions they had to answer, and I made him show me his passport and ID and I talked to his Dad on the phone as well. I wanted references
Debster Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 For those of you who have wound up in relationships from these sites, when did you decide to take your profile down, if at all? Why? Was there a discussion about it? Did you do it on your own? How about your partner? I can't remember. To be honest, when I first started onilne dating my friend and I created a pseudo-ad (with a picture of a mail-order bride). We would then test the guy to see if he would respond to someone else's smile, or to see when they last logged on. But with my husband, I never did that. I don't think I even took my ad down. I don't really know if he did. It just wasn't an issue. We trusted each other and became exclusive on our 3rd or 4th date. On the service I used, as long as you don't go online, your profile will rarely show up on the searches. Only the more active profiles do. I never checked my messages either so who knows - maybe I'm still getting smiles!
alphamale Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 i met people over the internet at *****.com and **********.com and ***.com on and off for 4 or 5 years. it was mostly a negative (and humbling!) experience. there were a few positive encounters which involved mostly casual sex the funniest was about 7 yrs ago. I drove about 50 miles to meet this woman at an applebees for drinks. that turned into dinner and getting hammered. then she says "lets go back to my place". I'm like, "OK! " so we get to her crib and i look in the master bdrm and some dude is zonked out on her bed . So I'm like "hey, who is that?" and she says "oh, don't worry about him, he's a heavy sleeper". so she takes me into the 2nd bdrm which was next to master bdrm and we f*** for a coupla hrs. I got up a few hrs later and split. Never did find out who the dude was.
blind_otter Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale i met people over the internet at *****.com and **********.com and ***.com on and off for 4 or 5 years. it was mostly a negative (and humbling!) experience. there were a few positive encounters which involved mostly casual sex the funniest was about 7 yrs ago. I drove about 50 miles to meet this woman at an applebees for drinks. that turned into dinner and getting hammered. then she says "lets go back to my place". I'm like, "OK! " so we get to her crib and i look in the master bdrm and some dude is zonked out on her bed . So I'm like "hey, who is that?" and she says "oh, don't worry about him, he's a heavy sleeper". so she takes me into the 2nd bdrm which was next to master bdrm and we f*** for a coupla hrs. I got up a few hrs later and split. Never did find out who the dude was. You're going to write a book of your escapades, right?
scratch Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 I casually dated a girl I met on a messageboard like this for a little while. About a month ago, a mutual friend of ours posted this on her blog. I read the story, and realized that one of the girls she was writing about was the one I dated. Then I got tested. Again.
alphamale Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Then I got tested. yeah SCRATCH, now I know how you got your user name. those warts itch, don't they?
kellyp1 Posted May 21, 2005 Posted May 21, 2005 Scratch - wow, no words to say. That sucks! My online dating update - I mentioned my concerns to my popular online dating site boy and he surprised me by inviting me to dinner next week. I kind of thought he would have freaked out when I opened my thoughts to him. I am in the same boat as Jennifer wondering where it is headed as he is obviously still shopping for other girls and really hasn't made his intentions or thoughts about us dating clear. It in some ways is too early to have the conversation (less than 3 months), and in other ways, since we have been intimate, overdue. People surprise me - freak out at dumb things and take the big things in stride. As the other posters have said, buyer beware though. People can be whoever they want on an online. My friend actually emailed a guy for awhile and when she met him in person realized the photo he had up on the site wasn't even him! And there is poor Scratch...
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