mitchapalooza Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 My breakup was a month and 1/2 ago - in my mind. However, in the effort of keeping it real - he was not in the relationship for 5 months prior to that. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. We were off and on for months before we split. Both of us were talking to other people but I didn't want to move on. Complete lack of communication regarding what we wanted - then we exploded. Anyways, I reconnected with an old boyfriend from 3 years ago recently. We only dated briefly before. But things did not end well with us(he left me and went back to his ex after sweeping me off my feet. I felt so used!). I discovered that I am still irritated over that situation - which I discussed my reservations immediately. I'm not even close to bonding with someone emotionally again after my last relationship. Especially this guy. To complicate things further, he has spent quite a lot of money on me. I have not asked him to. But before - when I actually liked him - I wouldn't let him buy me things because I wanted to prove to him that his money was not important. (Yet he still went back to his ex that he claimed was a gold digger). So, this time when he offered to buy me things, I accepted them. Now he is texting me constantly and telling me he's thinking about me etc..... But every text he sends me is annoying me. Most of the stuff he bought me was for a wedding that he said he wanted "arm candy". It was a mini purse, dress, shoes, jewelry, and makeup. He also bought me a golf outfit with matching shoes. We are going golfing this weekend and I want to let him down as easy as possible on Sunday. I need advice because I know how bad it hurts. Do I say exactly how I feel or should I ghost him like he did to me? I thought it would be fun to hang out with him for a bit and move on. But I think he's developing feelings. Also, do I offer to pay him back for the gifts? I didn't ask for them but I could have also said no to the offer. Your advice is greatly appreciated. And yes I already know... I'm a douchebag for this.
Jimmyjackson Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Don't 'ghost' him, you didn't like it when he did it to you, did you? You let him know by telling him you're not interested, it's that simple. For some reason millions of people around the world seem to make break ups complicated. If you're done, just tell him?
Author mitchapalooza Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 Don't 'ghost' him, you didn't like it when he did it to you, did you? You let him know by telling him you're not interested, it's that simple. For some reason millions of people around the world seem to make break ups complicated. If you're done, just tell him? I think it gets complicated in our minds. I explained it and all went well. No hard feelings. Honesty is definitely the best. Now to handle the whole separate issue of the other ex trying to booty call on a Monday morning. Yuck. Ignore.
Shock148 Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Easy, just pull him aside on sunday and tell him that we need to talk. Tell him you appreciate all of the time and money he has spent on you, but you really are not interested in him. Will it hurt him? Yes, but trust me he will respect you a lot more for letting him know so early rather than to string him along and tell him later on. Tell him that you just don't feel it when you are with him and that you are sorry if you hurt his feelings but you don't want to let him get the wrong idea or develop feelings that are not mutual. Don't be shy and just tell him that straight up.
Author mitchapalooza Posted October 5, 2015 Author Posted October 5, 2015 Easy, just pull him aside on sunday and tell him that we need to talk. Tell him you appreciate all of the time and money he has spent on you, but you really are not interested in him. Will it hurt him? Yes, but trust me he will respect you a lot more for letting him know so early rather than to string him along and tell him later on. Tell him that you just don't feel it when you are with him and that you are sorry if you hurt his feelings but you don't want to let him get the wrong idea or develop feelings that are not mutual. Don't be shy and just tell him that straight up. YES! I did that exactly that - I told him I appreciate his gestures but I do not see a future in the relationship. He was ok with it!
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