Leigh 87 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I used to date the volatile guys that I had to walk on egg shells around..... The men I knew who weren't going to stick around long term, I went the craziest for.... I too tried to like nicer guys. I got frustrated at having all these perfectly nice guys wsnt to date me and turning them all away and going for the men who weren't into me ( because i felt chemistry).... I really decided that I wanted to only focus on men who were genuinly intense and treated me well.... Eventually., I felt an initial spark with a " nice guy " I but it went away after the first date or two...I wasn't averse to nice guys but it is harder to feel fireworks without an element of unavailability. The truth is, true chemistry isn't as a result of confident cocky men who just want you for sex but are intrigued enough by you to keep you in the hook. That's not real chemistry. Real sparks that aren't derived from anxiety and uncertainty are very very rare. It just sounds like you wanted to date nicer guys but, as much as you have tried to force a spark and chemistry that isn't there, it just isn't working. Some nice guys have an inferiority complex, especially when a hot girl who was the reject of hot guys, wants to date him. I had to really try and figure out the difference between real chemistry and fake chemistry. Fake chemistry is when you have chemistry with a man and deep down, you know he isn't into you and so the chemistry is amplified 1000000 times.......I had a few fails where I initially wanted so desperately to feel the fireworks and crazy in love feelings with " nice guys.... To no avail.... I forced myself into wanting the spark only to discover that I didn't fancy these nice guys after all. One of the nice guys who treated me well had a motor bike and a manly Ute, had a good manly hands on job... And he was so smitten with me. Yet I just didn't feel any connection. It took many many dates for me to find and fall for a guy who was nice to me and genuinly wanted me. Fluctuating feelings aren't the making of a madly in love style of relationship. The best relationships I've seen are overflowing with lust and in love feelings at the beginning.....the beginning is supposed to be the most amped up and hot for each other period. The start of a relationship should be euphoric and light and easy. You shouldn't be questioning your feelings this early on when things should be hot and fresh. ALL the relationships I had to question during what was supposed to be the honeymoon stage, NEVER worked out...... 1
Author JasmineJones Posted October 4, 2015 Author Posted October 4, 2015 Saw him again yesterday. My feelings were not fluctuating at all anymore. I adore him. 1
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