cookiemonster26 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I would really like a long term relationship and don't want to have sex with a guy who just wants sex. With that being said, I feel like alot of guys won't wait till your exclusive to have sex with you. Do I need to sleep with a guy before becoming bf gf or is it reasonable to ask them to wait till you guys are exclusive ?
MoreAmore Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I would really like a long term relationship and don't want to have sex with a guy who just wants sex. With that being said, I feel like alot of guys won't wait till your exclusive to have sex with you. Do I need to sleep with a guy before becoming bf gf or is it reasonable to ask them to wait till you guys are exclusive ? Guys will absolutely wait until exclusivity. I have sex when I want to, but if a guy really likes you he will push exclusivity early regardless. That's been my experience 2
GemmaUK Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 You sound pretty young. No, you don't ever have sex with a guy unless you want to and are prepared to take the responsibility for your choice should he never contact you again. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. 1
road Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Agreeing to be exclusive is the first step. Never expect us to buy the cow when we can get the milk for free.
Author cookiemonster26 Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 You sound pretty young. No, you don't ever have sex with a guy unless you want to and are prepared to take the responsibility for your choice should he never contact you again. It's been so long since I met a guy who didn't pressure me for sex so early on I forgot there are guys that will respect you enough to wait till your in a relationship 1
alphamale Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Do I need to sleep with a guy before becoming bf gf or is it reasonable to ask them to wait till you guys are exclusive ? if a guy really likes you he will wait. you just have to talk. on the other hand I've always had sex before becoming a "couple"
newmoon Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 It's been so long since I met a guy who didn't pressure me for sex so early on I forgot there are guys that will respect you enough to wait till your in a relationship i've never, not once, had a guy pressure me for sex, even while in a relationship. when you respect yourself and pick partners with good values you rarely have issues w/this. 1
katiegrl Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 (edited) if a guy really likes you he will wait. you just have to talk. on the other hand I've always had sex before becoming a "couple" To quote Patty Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker fame... "No Sex Before Monogamy"!! She is super adamant about that, and she's like the expert at hooking people up long term/marriage. What's interesting is that the guys always bitch to her about it (vowing NO WAY!), but then come back later (after being in an exclusive RL with the girl for awhile) .... and THANK HER for insisting on it!! Edited October 2, 2015 by katiegrl 1
deadelvis Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Usually sex comes first, how else do you know if you're sexually compatible? But with my current GF we actually decided to make it official before we had sex. About 2 hours before actually. But that was a unique situation. We fell in love hard and fast. By the end of our first date it was pretty clear we were going to be in a relationship together. But generally no. Why would you get involved with some guy before you know what he's like in bed? He might be the worst lover on earth. Do you want to be committed to some guy with a 2 inch penis who lasts 30 seconds in bed?
Shining One Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Everyone has the right to set their own boundaries. If you want to have commitment as a perquisite for sex, it's your right to do so. For me, I usually "require" sex before exclusivity, but I'm willing to compromise if the woman has a conflicting requirement. Once she's naked, I agree we're exclusive, then we have sex. As long as woman communicates her preferences about waiting and I'm not required to be her wallet while we wait, I have no problem moving at a pace that's comfortable for her. 1
guest569 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 i've never, not once, had a guy pressure me for sex, even while in a relationship. when you respect yourself and pick partners with good values you rarely have issues w/this. Well aren't you lucky. Unfortunately is is not the case for the majority of women regardless of their self respect levels, or how good they are at selecting partners. Sorry but this comment is ridiculous and unfair. 2
kpl Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I personally, would just spend time getting to know them and not even bring sex up. I think its problematic when women tell men I won't have sex with you until we are exclusive because some men (not all) will then push for exclusivity to have sex. Just live your life getting to know them and have sex when you feel it is right. If a guy is pushing it, not the one for you...next!
Photofinish Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Make him wait at least 6 months to weed the ones who only want sex out but in the end its up to you. Just make sure you are not pressured 1
katiegrl Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 It's been so long since I met a guy who didn't pressure me for sex so early on I forgot there are guys that will respect you enough to wait till your in a relationship What is your definition of pressure though? Letting you know he is interested in you sexually, and would like to have sex with you? OR Badgering you about it, until you"give in? All my boyfriends have let me know they were interested in me sexually BEFORE becoming exclusive..... and I, in turn, let them know I was too. I never felt "pressured" to have it though, they always gave me the choice. For me, exclusivity always came AFTER sex. My choice.... and one which I was perfectly fine with. In short, I think it's OKAY for a guy to want sex before a relationship and to express that. Badgering you about it? No that is wrong and you should walk away from such guys IMO. 1
candie13 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 (edited) Well, it's really important to know what sort of interaction you want with a man. Personally, I Struggle a bit with the "long term bf" phase ... I mean I understand you want monogamy & exclusivity... But long term... who knows what tomorrow might bring ? What I mean, sometimes I know I focus too much on the potential future, instead of seeing even if I'm having a blast right now... What can I say, it is possible a guy is cool and great and you invest in the RS and then when you sleep with him... it's disappointing ! I just think there is a reasonable grey area there, as in establishing if he's sleeping with other people - to me that's a deal breaker... In the end, keep a clear head and accept that nobody wants to be lied to or cheated to - men or women. Men who only want sex usually bail out if they don't get sex after 3-4 dates or 2-3 weeks... That helps a lot. Other than that... Just use your instinct about guys... Personally, to me, sexual compatibility is big in determining if a guy is bf material or not. And I also like to take my time in getting to know my date before stepping on the "RS" territory. Bottom line: my deal is sexual exclusivity Cheers Edited October 2, 2015 by candie13
Author cookiemonster26 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 What is your definition of pressure though? Letting you know he is interested in you sexually, and would like to have sex with you? OR Badgering you about it, until you"give in? All my boyfriends have let me know they were interested in me sexually BEFORE becoming exclusive..... and I, in turn, let them know I was too. I never felt "pressured" to have it though, they always gave me the choice. For me, exclusivity always came AFTER sex. My choice.... and one which I was perfectly fine with. In short, I think it's OKAY for a guy to want sex before a relationship and to express that. Badgering you about it? No that is wrong and you should walk away from such guys IMO. Like always asking to come over to my house even though I said I wouldn't be comfortable with that at the moment 1
Stage5Clinger Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I would really like a long term relationship and don't want to have sex with a guy who just wants sex. With that being said, I feel like alot of guys won't wait till your exclusive to have sex with you. Do I need to sleep with a guy before becoming bf gf or is it reasonable to ask them to wait till you guys are exclusive ? I want to wait until exclusive but I don't think girls get attached as easily when waiting....
Buddhist Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I would really like a long term relationship and don't want to have sex with a guy who just wants sex. With that being said, I feel like alot of guys won't wait till your exclusive to have sex with you. Do I need to sleep with a guy before becoming bf gf or is it reasonable to ask them to wait till you guys are exclusive ? You know I've never had this conundrum as I've never slept with a guy and not become his gf as a consequence. But then I never go looking for dates either or officially 'date' anyone. I just wait until someone hits my radar, pursue and we are an item. I'm really confused as to how everyone else is doing it..... 2
BluEyeL Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I would really like a long term relationship and don't want to have sex with a guy who just wants sex. With that being said, I feel like alot of guys won't wait till your exclusive to have sex with you. Do I need to sleep with a guy before becoming bf gf or is it reasonable to ask them to wait till you guys are exclusive ? I didn't read the answers, but no, you do not have to sleep with anyone before exclusivity. Don't worry about men who don't wait. They are out for fun and they don't value you, so move on to find a man that will. You won't lose anything. That policy worked for me pretty well. And you don't have to tell them anything, you just show. Simply do not meet for any private times, meet in public until it is clear that you became exclusive. Your probably received answers here that told you that it's not fair and why this and why that. Don't listen to them, it's in your interest NOT to sleep with a man before exclusivity UNLESS you just want casual sex with that particular man yourself and are not interested in a relationship with them, but if you want a relationship, then sleeping with them before that will not help you reach that goal. 1
sportygirl89 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Last relationship we had sex before then morning after he made it official. Usually we became boyfriend and girlfriend before anything sexually. 1
newmoon Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Well aren't you lucky. Unfortunately is is not the case for the majority of women regardless of their self respect levels, or how good they are at selecting partners. Sorry but this comment is ridiculous and unfair. it's not ridiculous if it's true. you set boundaries and men respect them. are you trying to say all men do this? because i'm sure you'll have lots of men who believe it's ridiculous and unfair to group them into that category. sorry you've been unlucky. keep trying for better partners.
kilgore Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 it's not ridiculous if it's true. you set boundaries and men respect them. are you trying to say all men do this? because i'm sure you'll have lots of men who believe it's ridiculous and unfair to group them into that category. sorry you've been unlucky. keep trying for better partners. I think she is saying it was a bit judge-y 1
fitnessfan365 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 My GF and I waited until we were exclusive to have full on sex. Her company was enough for me to be patient. But since we had an extreme sexual attraction from the get go, we did everything but penetration from the second date on.
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