siriusp Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Lovelorn00 posted a thread about breaking rule number one and I started to wonder - what are the 'rules' of dating? (if there are rules)? I am curious what everybody thinks.....
Oregon_Dude Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 For men: 1. Be attractive 2. If you're attractive, you can do no wrong. Abusive behavior is tolerable. If you're not attractive, anything you do is "creepy". 5
mrldii Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I know it gets updated all the time, but personally the only Rules for Dating I follow is: "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander." 1
LilaMarie Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 It's all just common sense really... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/549393-why-so-many-rules
Author siriusp Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 It's all just common sense really... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/549393-why-so-many-rules Is it common sense really? When I am reading things on LS - I wonder. There are some threads about why men and women don't just ask each other for sex. I was imagining - sitting on the bus going to work and just randomly people would ask each other for sex or a relationship......lol I don't think logic or common sense have much to do with dating.
bluefeather Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I never thought that there were rules. I just look at it like this - honestly open yourself. If that person likes who you really are, then it will go well. If they don't, then move on. It has something to do with expectations. If you try to follow rules that were not written by you, you might not appear genuine. I think it's a lot more complex than that, but openness is where I start. 1
Author siriusp Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 I never thought that there were rules. I just look at it like this - honestly open yourself. If that person likes who you really are, then it will go well. If they don't, then move on. It has something to do with expectations. If you try to follow rules that were not written by you, you might not appear genuine. I think it's a lot more complex than that, but openness is where I start. That's generally what I always thought. But reading all the 'advise' on LS - I got quite a shock. To be honest I never gave it any thought. I would just either like someone or I wouldn't.
JustGettingBy Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 When it comes to dating games the only winning move is not to play.
Guyouthere Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Rule number one… I immediately let the woman know I have a very interesting life, which includes the excitement of catching large sharks from a small boat. Rule number 2,, I act nice and gain her trust, invite her over. Rule number 3,,, I unlock my garage barn, give her a tour of the freezers and show her my meat grinder (electric operated). Rule number 4,, Lock the garage from the inside, she can't escape. Rule number 5,, Tell her how good she will taste to the sharks (they are usually flattered by this, as all women love compliments). Rule huber 5, Have enough empty space in the freezers for her body. Rule number 6,, Have watch dog guard the entrance so that no one can hear her screams. Rule number 7,, Add her name to the list of others you have done this to before. Rule number 8,, Watch the weather forecast and determine when best to go out shark fishing next. Rule number 9,, Sharks love blonde meat hehehehe Do this and you will be a happy dater, get plenty of physical exercise, and build self esteem. hehehehe :* 1
Oregon_Dude Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Rule number one… I immediately let the woman know I have a very interesting life, which includes the excitement of catching large sharks from a small boat. Really? I have not heard you mention this on LS before. 2
Guyouthere Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Really? I have not heard you mention this on LS before. That is the first way to get their attention. They begin to ask questions,, the rest is history
Redhead14 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Lovelorn00 posted a thread about breaking rule number one and I started to wonder - what are the 'rules' of dating? (if there are rules)? I am curious what everybody thinks..... 1) Know what your dating goal is and stick to it. 2) Date men who have the same goal. 3) Be receptive/responsive if you like them enough 4) Let them lead for the first month, then initiate some communication/dates 5) Enjoy each date, be in the moment and be confident. Manage insecurities. 6) Don't project past experiences and don't project into the future with a particular dating partner 7) Be yourself and leave any dating scenario that doesn't meet your needs or if the dating partner isn't being respectful of your time. 8) Don't overthink 9) Manage your emotions and expectations for quite some time. Be patient. 3
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 IRL? Find someone you like and hope they like you back + you can tolerate each other's crap. On LS? A ton of nonsense. 1
bluefeather Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 That's generally what I always thought. But reading all the 'advise' on LS - I got quite a shock. To be honest I never gave it any thought. I would just either like someone or I wouldn't. Well everyone is different. So naturally this forum is filled with differing opinions. Some on here have a lot of dating experience, some have none. Some are happy with themselves, others are not. People who give advice could be from all of these sides. Take it all with a grain of salt, as they say. And even take that with a grain of salt! 1
GemmaUK Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 There are no rules. Listen to your gut and act upon it is the only rule I can offer. I didn't act on my gut one time - big HUGE error on my part but I hadn't experienced anyone who was controlling or abusive in any way prior to that. He was a total sweetpea and absolutely charming...until the little moments when he wasn't....and they just grew and grew! Lol! 3
MoreAmore Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 No rules! Just get to know people. Interact. Be good. Don't tolerate people not being good back. 2
deadelvis Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club... Oh wait. Wrong rulebook. Let me see here... Ok the rules of dating... (these are obviously geared toward men) 1. When you get a phone number wait a few days, then send a text inviting them to meet up for drinks. But keep it casual. 2. If the first night of casual drinks goes well, do some minimal flirting over text and set up a plan for a proper date. Don't over-text them, unless they seem into heavy texting. Only then is it ok to text back immediately. The texting thing is a bit of a power struggle. Don't text back right away. Sometimes you should be brief and appear too busy to text them. Never call them directly, it's not 1995. 3. Don't add them on facebook right away. Wait until after a few dates, or better yet text them "if you want you can add me on facebook, my name is facebook.com/serialkiller666" and let them decide to add you or not. 4. Don't mention sex or be too eager to get physical. It will be obvious when it's time to go in for the first kiss. But when they give you the "go ahead and kiss me look" you have to move quick and confident. Be assertive, almost aggressive. Keep pushing things further until either you have sex or they tell you to cool it. Most of the time that first passionate kiss leads to sex that same night. Always be ready to make the move. Keep gum, condoms, weed, and plenty of cash with you. Have a reliable drug dealer on standby. You never know what's going to happen. 5. Be cool and somewhat uninterested on the first few dates. Don't seem desperate or clingy. This includes not over-texting. 6. Do not send pictures of your junk unless they are requested. Do not ask for pictures. They will send pictures when they are ready. If they send nude pics before you've even kissed, feel free to start texting dirty. The next date should be meeting at a hotel room. Always get a nice hotel room, not a dive. 7. Always have good grammar and spelling when you text. 8. Don't talk about your ex's or people you've had sex with unless they ask. Even then "I've been with quiet a few people" or "I got out of a relationship about XX months ago." should be enough info until you've started sleeping together. 9. Tell them about any STD's you have before you have sex, but only about 30 seconds before you have sex, not sooner. If they bring it up before this you have to bite the bullet and tell them about your disease ridden equipment. 10. Don't talk about exclusivity or do anything crazy like change your status to "in a relationship" until they bring up the topic. 11. Sometimes running into them when you're on a date with someone else will make them want you more. Play this card with caution. Similarly play it cool if you see them on a date with someone else. Delicately try to make the other person jealous/insecure. If the other person suspects you are another love interest, they will probably get weird and ruin the date. Then you'll get a text the next day saying "it was nice bumping into you last night". That means the date went badly and you're up to bat. 12. If they choose to go down on you, don't try to turn it into sex right away. Let them finish. Return the favor. Then right before/after they reach orgasm you should ask if they want to have sex. 13. If other people hit on them when you're out together don't let it bother you. Give them the space to flirt. Be confident. Some people will intentionally flirt in front of you just to check your reaction. 14. Be amazing in bed every single time. Anything they are willing do you should go for. Don't be shy. You want the sex to be memorable. You should not hesitate to be as kinky as they let you. Get them off at least twice. The more the better. 15. Never kiss and tell. Ever. Those are the ones that immediately come to mind... but the irony is when you meet someone you really like, those rules do right out the window.
thecrucible Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 - Prioritise. Respect should be an absolutely essential quality considered well before what the guy looks like or how much he turns you on. If the guy wouldn't make a good friend, he'd be rubbish boyfriend. - Know what you want out of dating and stick to it. - Don't worry about other people's and society's expectations in general regarding romance and dating. That stuff is going to follow you around through your whole life anyway. Best not to let it get to you too much. When dating... - Expect it to be a trial and error process. - Be genuine. By that I mean, feel how you feel and act accordingly. Don't be extra loving and nice just because you think it will help you get him into a relationship. Be extra loving and nice because it is part of your character. - Don't be too outcome-driven. It's good to be in the moment and let the relationship move at a natural pace. - Treat people how you would like to be treated. If you have to end things, do it kindly and respectfully. - Trust your gut. If it doesn't feel right for whatever reason then cut your losses and get out. - Don't play games. It's not worth it to have to jump through hoops. - Let him show you his qualities through actions more than words. Be wary of guys who talk themselves up. I've fallen for guys far too often in the past because of being too readily impressed by what they told me about themselves. Not surprisingly, they turned into arrogant jerks. when it goes wrong... - Don't wallow in self-pity. Once it's over, it's over. Take a few days to get over it, then get back out there. - When talking to others about relationships, only confide in people you really trust. Take advice with a pinch of salt as some people give advice which is not in your best interests but which serves their purposes. - Don't make it easy for the guy to get back into your life after a break-up. Some guys do it because they want sex or an ego boost or to assuage their guilt. - Be aware that you can't force love. Sometimes we meet wonderful people but a relationship just doesn't work out. - Don't talk him into an apology. Give the guy the space to do right. Then if he doesn't, he has veto-ed himself.
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