Author Guyouthere Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 How far away is she? She is in the UK and I am in Florida
Frank2thepoint Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 If you are having problems convincing women you are relationship minded, maybe you need to change your approach?? Exactly my point! Look WITHIN YOURSELF dude. It's called introspection. Clearly you're failing somewhere - who's the common denominator? YOU! I was wondering where the male-denigrating comments of "you're obviously doing something wrong" have been lately. The classic "you're the common denominator" line never gets old in making a man feel frustrated and not offering any valuable advice. Why do you always assume the guy just wants you for sex? So yea, some do, but many of you just group all guys together and assume that is all we want from you. Don't you think you are missing out on a genuine guy when you do this? Some women group men into an ugly category that they just want sex, just like some men group women into an ugly category that they just want money. There are many other categories the genders like to group each other in, but you get the idea. You're going about this whole situation wrong. You shouldn't worry about the few women that jump to conclusions about men as soon as you just say "Hello" to them. Same goes for the genuine guy bit. You have to let go of all that, because you are exuding some desperation, with a hint of control, and topped with anger. If you know you are a genuine guy, that's genuinely looking for a relationship, then that's all you need to worry about. A woman not seeing you for who you are, is outside of your control. You wanting them to see that means you are trying to control them, trying to force something. It's unnatural. If the next time you meet a woman that jumps to such an unfounded conclusion, just express you are disappointed that she would assume that, and forget about her. Have your self-respect always up and ready. Besides, any woman that makes such assumptions, really lacks trust in men. They'll make snide comments, comparing you to other men from their past, such as "All men cheat" or "All men lie". You shouldn't be wasting any mental energy trying to figure out why some women think this. You should be asking yourself why would you want to be with someone like that? 2
RedRobin Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 I was wondering where the male-denigrating comments of "you're obviously doing something wrong" have been lately. The classic "you're the common denominator" line never gets old in making a man feel frustrated and not offering any valuable advice. Some women group men into an ugly category that they just want sex, just like some men group women into an ugly category that they just want money. There are many other categories the genders like to group each other in, but you get the idea. You're going about this whole situation wrong. You shouldn't worry about the few women that jump to conclusions about men as soon as you just say "Hello" to them. Same goes for the genuine guy bit. You have to let go of all that, because you are exuding some desperation, with a hint of control, and topped with anger. If you know you are a genuine guy, that's genuinely looking for a relationship, then that's all you need to worry about. A woman not seeing you for who you are, is outside of your control. You wanting them to see that means you are trying to control them, trying to force something. It's unnatural. If the next time you meet a woman that jumps to such an unfounded conclusion, just express you are disappointed that she would assume that, and forget about her. Have your self-respect always up and ready. Besides, any woman that makes such assumptions, really lacks trust in men. They'll make snide comments, comparing you to other men from their past, such as "All men cheat" or "All men lie". You shouldn't be wasting any mental energy trying to figure out why some women think this. You should be asking yourself why would you want to be with someone like that? Oh please. It really isn't any more complicated than... If he keeps getting the same responses, then it is pretty good odds that it has something to do with him. I am all for both people approaching a new relationship with the best of intentions and with an open heart... But it always seems to be the case where a guy expects sex ASAP, and just trust them that he is looking for a relationship. Why is that? I think that is stupid, just like I think it is stupid for guys to spend lots of money on a woman he hardly knows. ...and women aren't stupid any more than men are. If a woman was expecting the guy to take her lots of fancy places right off the bat, and she came here whining 'why do men just think I want them for their money?' I would say the same thing to her. Sheesh. If women think he is just after sex, then he needs to find women who are ok with casual sex or no strings attached or let's not put a label on it kinda thing and go from there. A relationship oriented woman ain't gonna play that. Sorry. If those are the women he is chasing, then he needs to act like a relationship oriented guy. It is not that complicated.
hotpotato Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Well...because a lot of guys are. I treat guys as though they are all after sex until proven otherwise. So far the strategy has not let me fown. No, i do not feel like ive missed out on any decent guys. There are many giys who will say or do almost anything to get a piece. Ive had guys pretend like they wanted to be my bf just so they could get regular sex. If guys dont want ne to assume this about them, then dont act like you only want sex. Things like asking me to chill or otherwise ve alone with him when i dont know him...Ok what am i supposed to velueve? Expecting me to put out on the first date...Once again, what am i supposed to think??? If you want to date me, be more respectful.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 I never assume this, no. I have probably had more occasions where a guy wanted more than sex with me and I didn't reciprocate, than I've had occasions where I have wanted a relationship from a guy who just wants sex. It totally depends on the person, it's nothing to do with gender. It depends on the individual, what they want, where they are in life, how they feel about the other person. I find it a total mistake when women presume men just want sex, or men presume women are just after their (usually non existent) money. Sweeping gender generalisations help nobody. 1
Author Guyouthere Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 when it comes down to it, its all about continuing the species. hehehehe Seriously…. I never pursue women for just sex. They do sense that too.,, and in the past… they have always been the one to pursue me… and then it happens. A good case would be the second to last one I had. I met her, we "dated" a while (just hung out a few times) and she pursued me (although for money I believe). I had here here, gave her a massage,,, no sex. Then out of the blue she called me and wanted to do it. I said no, because there was nothing there and I sensed it was all about her trying to hook me.
No Limit Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I assume it because it seems to be the most plausible explanation (judging from personal experience). Of course in my case it's also an age thing, few guys settle for a relationship in their teens/early 20's.
ShatteredLady Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I met my future H when I was 21. He shared a student house with other guys so for quite a while it was usually me & the 4 guys going out. It gave me great perspective to have men friends. I also only had one sibling, big brother so I've known more male friends than female. In my experience there's not a huge difference! For every man I've known who just wants sex I can name a woman just the same!
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