Guyouthere Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 So women., Why do you always assume the guy just wants you for sex? So yea, some do, but many of you just group all guys together and assume that is all we want from you. Don't you think you are missing out on a genuine guy when you do this? I am turned off by women who automatically assume that, and yes, it does show on your face.
regine_phalange Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Hrm..Men, Why do assume that women assume that you want them just for sex? Yeah, some women do, but many of you just group all women together and assume this is what they assume. Don't you think you look bitter when you do this? I'm turned off by a man who does this, and yes, it does show on his face. 9
Redhead14 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 So women., Why do you always assume the guy just wants you for sex? So yea, some do, but many of you just group all guys together and assume that is all we want from you. Don't you think you are missing out on a genuine guy when you do this? I am turned off by women who automatically assume that, and yes, it does show on your face. I wouldn't/didn't assume that. I'd get clarity. Listen carefully to what he says and observe how he dates me. Women who start assuming that is the case for all men are women who have gone down the garden path maybe a couple of times and are now overcompensating and being too cautious instead of going to middle by learning from those experiences and being objective. 4
carhill Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Life experience, generally beginning at puberty, or sometimes before, unfortunately. Those messages get burned into the developing brain and become a basic narrative and, IMO, pretty accurate if you really think about it. Why else, outside of normal platonic activities, would a man approach a woman? Sex is always part of it and, for most men, the primary motivator in approaching a stranger they don't know. She's sexually attractive and they want to have sex with her. I kinda figured that out at age 12 or so when the girls I used to rough-house with playing football and climbing trees started to get round, soft and, well, sexual. Heh. Are all men a one-track sexual mind? Nope! However, the ones who are, because of the emotional memories they impart, tend to be those remembered.
mrldii Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I'm a woman...and I don't. So, in an ironic twist, I'm as *insulted* that you assume that's what I do, as you are that I assume that's what you do. I do, hope, however that any man I'm sitting across a restaurant table (or at a movie theater, or on a stroll through the park, etc.) wants (and is able) to have sex with me. Because I know there is a LOT more to me than simply being a mobile vagina, I've never presumed they "just want sex" with me. Them wanting it with me is simply the icing on an already perfectly-baked cake, otherwise I wouldn't be there. 2
Author Guyouthere Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 Mobile vagina What is this? hehehe New competition for ATT and Verizon. lol 1
Author Guyouthere Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 I'm a woman...and I don't. So, in an ironic twist, I'm as *insulted* that you assume that's what I do, as you are that I assume that's what you do. I do, hope, however that any man I'm sitting across a restaurant table (or at a movie theater, or on a stroll through the park, etc.) wants (and is able) to have sex with me. Because I know there is a LOT more to me than simply being a mobile vagina, I've never presumed they "just want sex" with me. Them wanting it with me is simply the icing on an already perfectly-baked cake, otherwise I wouldn't be there. I know all women don't assume this, but most do. And because most do, those "most" will pass up a great guy because she will convey the message of being cold. I don't go for any woman who acts as though she is cold in any way. It is a turnoff. Thats just how it is.
craw Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Based on their own personal experience. I've had guys asked me if I wanted to be their "friends with benefits". It's extremely hurtful. Just because, I'm fun - doesn't mean I want to bang you! I find guys rarely want relationships. So yes, I assume most just want sex. At the same time, meeting guys online is the worst way to meet. Ugh. You will be very lucky if they even grace their presence with you in public. Heaven forbid they pay for a date! If it helps, I've been stereotyped like that before, when I used to go to networking meets. Guys assumed I wanted to bang and not get ahead in my career by making contacts. When guys message me on couch surfing, I assume they only want sex. Based on my experience, guys who hosted or met me, wanted to bang. *sigh* there's only one guy I'm interested in dating and he lives half way across the world. He's the only guy who's treated me the way a lady should be. Sad. Speaking of sad, I need to.stop.going on this forum LOL. 3
Author Guyouthere Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 Based on their own personal experience. I've had guys asked me if I wanted to be their "friends with benefits". It's extremely hurtful. Just because, I'm fun - doesn't mean I want to bang you! I find guys rarely want relationships. So yes, I assume most just want sex. At the same time, meeting guys online is the worst way to meet. Ugh. You will be very lucky if they even grace their presence with you in public. Heaven forbid they pay for a date! If it helps, I've been stereotyped like that before, when I used to go to networking meets. Guys assumed I wanted to bang and not get ahead in my career by making contacts. When guys message me on couch surfing, I assume they only want sex. Based on my experience, guys who hosted or met me, wanted to bang. *sigh* there's only one guy I'm interested in dating and he lives half way across the world. He's the only guy who's treated me the way a lady should be. Sad. Speaking of sad, I need to.stop.going on this forum LOL. The one girl who I thought would have been good for me is also a long distance away. Im discouraged I just don't see that here where I am.
PaperCrane Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Man, I am in the opposite boat. All I want is a relationship, and all girls want to do is bang me. 3
mike_89 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I know all women don't assume this, but most do. And because most do, those "most" will pass up a great guy because she will convey the message of being cold. I don't go for any woman who acts as though she is cold in any way. It is a turnoff. Thats just how it is. To me it seems like most women I meet through tinder do think men are out for sex on tinder (can't blame them after the stories I have heard... creepy sex stories, guys asking for sex after talking for 30 minutes and what not) but in real life I don't have this problem, neither do my friends. There's some girls that assume you just want to nail them, but as you say you can see it in their faces. Just don't go up to them, talk to more friendly looking girls instead.
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 The one girl who I thought would have been good for me is also a long distance away. Im discouraged I just don't see that here where I am. Just because you can't manage to attract any woman on your home turf, don't assume it's because they assume you only want sex. What proof do you have that they assume this anyway? If they tell you this upon rejecting you --- trust me they're lying. It's just an excuse so as not to hurt your tender wittle feelings when they reject you.... And for the record, instead of blaming women for rejecting you, and coming to erroneous conclusion she rejected you because she assumes you only want sex.... I would suggest you start looking WITHIN YOURSELF for the reason you can't attract and/or hold a woman's attention for too long. Much better use of your time and energy rather than rant on here how women are cold, assume men only want sex, blah blah. It's getting reallllllyyyy old dude. 1
RedRobin Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 For the most part, if a guy acts like he's just out for sex, that's what most women will assume. It's not very complicated. I can't say I've gotten the two types of men confused. The two types being... the one who is looking for a relationship and the one who is just out for sex/FWB. I HAVE come across one or two men who claimed they were looking for a relationship but clearly weren't. It was just baloney they tell relationship minded women so that she'll have sex with them... or that's their way of trying to wrangle a FWB arrangement out of someone. Pretending they care, when they obviously don't. I have my ways of sorting those too. Partly because I work around all men, I'm better at spotting those kind of men than some other women. Perhaps you need to take your grievance up with the men who aren't honest upfront?? Not blame women who are trying to avoid the liars and users and are looking for a relationship too. Sure, there are a few women who have extreme trust issues... most of them don't. If you are having problems convincing women you are relationship minded, maybe you need to change your approach?? 3
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 For the most part, if a guy acts like he's just out for sex, that's what most women will assume. It's not very complicated. I can't say I've gotten the two types of men confused. The two types being... the one who is looking for a relationship and the one who is just out for sex/FWB. I HAVE come across one or two men who claimed they were looking for a relationship but clearly weren't. It was just baloney they tell relationship minded women so that she'll have sex with them... or that's their way of trying to wrangle a FWB arrangement out of someone. Pretending they care, when they obviously don't. I have my ways of sorting those too. Partly because I work around all men, I'm better at spotting those kind of men than some other women. Perhaps you need to take your grievance up with the men who aren't honest upfront?? Not blame women who are trying to avoid the liars and users and are looking for a relationship too. Sure, there are a few women who have extreme trust issues... most of them don't. If you are having problems convincing women you are relationship minded, maybe you need to change your approach?? Exactly my point! Look WITHIN YOURSELF dude. It's called introspection. Clearly you're failing somewhere - who's the common denominator? YOU!
Popsicle Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I don't assume that at all, but I think other people (men included) assume that because it's the easy and lazy answer, and more importantly, it usually fits their own bias and/or agenda.
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 (edited) Just because you can't manage to attract any woman on your home turf, don't assume it's because they assume you only want sex. What proof do you have that they assume this anyway? If they tell you this upon rejecting you --- trust me they're lying. It's just an excuse so as not to hurt your tender wittle feelings when they reject you.... And for the record, instead of blaming women for rejecting you, and coming to erroneous conclusion she rejected you because she assumes you only want sex.... I would suggest you start looking WITHIN YOURSELF for the reason you can't attract and/or hold a woman's attention for too long. Much better use of your time and energy rather than rant on here how women are cold, assume men only want sex, blah blah. It's getting reallllllyyyy old dude. Edit^^ -- okay that was harsh (apologies) but dude, seriously. If a woman is into you, she's NOT gonna act cold and distant. She's gonna be warm and engaging and laugh at your silly jokes.... and want to spend time getting to know you. If a woman is into you, she's NOT gonna assume you only want sex. If she's assuming that, there is something about YOUR vibe/energy that is causing her to think that. Women are NOT the enemy here -- if anything YOU are your own worst enemy. That is why I keep stressing for you to look within yourself instead of blaming women for your own failures with them. Blaming them will get you absolutely NO WHERE -- except right back where you started - alone. I am not trying to mean just for the hell of it, I promise. I am actually a super, nice, caring person. But this stuff does get old sometimes, not just with you, I have seen it with others as well. Ciao and have a nice weekend... Edited October 3, 2015 by katiegrl 2
buck3200 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I always made it a habit that when all I wanted was sex....I looked for women that ONLY WANTED TO HAVE SEX. Plenty of ways...and no shame if you have to go pro....I've had some pretty great friendships with whores...more than a couple that started doing dishes etc. on there own....It get's to the point were I wasn't paying for the sex, I was paying them to leave when we were done.... Which really is the point of only wanting to have sex... 1
Author Guyouthere Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 Just because you can't manage to attract any woman on your home turf, don't assume it's because they assume you only want sex. What proof do you have that they assume this anyway? If they tell you this upon rejecting you --- trust me they're lying. It's just an excuse so as not to hurt your tender wittle feelings when they reject you.... And for the record, instead of blaming women for rejecting you, and coming to erroneous conclusion she rejected you because she assumes you only want sex.... I would suggest you start looking WITHIN YOURSELF for the reason you can't attract and/or hold a woman's attention for too long. Much better use of your time and energy rather than rant on here how women are cold, assume men only want sex, blah blah. It's getting reallllllyyyy old dude. In all reality……. I have not been on the dating scene at all. I was married 15+ years… then alone for a bit until I met this last girl I reference here. I was committed to her until I sensed she wasn't someone I could trust, and believe me, I sense it. No commitment from her, I expected some. To me, thats games. I look for something solid, even if she had to heal, I needed some form of assurance from her. And no, it isn't me. I was out tonight riding my bike and saw a girl who was walking on the sidewalk. She tripped and I stopped and asked her if she was OK. Pitch darkness, only the light of her phone and my bike lights. So I talked to her a bit and she was nice. I didn't come off as a creep, and she didn't treat me like one. She was polite, so was I, she was very thankful I took the time to ask if she was OK. Who knows, I might see her again. She said she lives on a street near me. I do know how to treat a lady. I know this. While I can get emotional when pushed, I am basically a good guy who has his flaws but overall treats a lady very well, and they sense it. I have no worries about finding someone who will appreciate me. I am also a good looking guy… women often flirt with me, and do so on a regular basis. So I will just see what happens now that this last girl evidently wants to throw me away. I can and will find others. I am VERY confident I won't last out there on the market. I simply have too much to offer, and one day that lady is going to come along and seriously just grab me and never let me go.
Grumpybutfun Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I always assumed that all women wanted me for my cool 80's mullet... G 5
autumnnight Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I always assumed that all women wanted me for my cool 80's mullet... G Nah....it's your achy breaky heart 3
MissBee Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 So women., Why do you always assume the guy just wants you for sex? So yea, some do, but many of you just group all guys together and assume that is all we want from you. Don't you think you are missing out on a genuine guy when you do this? I am turned off by women who automatically assume that, and yes, it does show on your face. I don't assume this off the bat. I give a guy the benefit of the doubt and allow his actions and words to tell me everything else. Men who just want sex behave differently than those who don't, even if the ones who only want sex can "fake it" it doesn't last very long. 2
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Man, I am in the opposite boat. All I want is a relationship, and all girls want to do is bang me. Paper crane ...you must be hot and have a heart ...now that's a lethal combustion OP ...how are you approaching these woman? What's your dating style? Maybe ask a woman friend how you're coming off. I just started dating last year after 18 years and I definitely don't get that vibe from guys. Well there was that one ...but he did text me a full frontal nude selfie and we hadn't even met or discussed anything intimate. Ya that guy was enamored with his anatomy lol But most guys (99%) are looking for a connection ... I've done lots of research and development in the field of late lol:)
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 In all reality……. I have not been on the dating scene at all. I was married 15+ years… then alone for a bit until I met this last girl I reference here. I was committed to her until I sensed she wasn't someone I could trust, and believe me, I sense it. No commitment from her, I expected some. To me, thats games. I look for something solid, even if she had to heal, I needed some form of assurance from her. And no, it isn't me. I was out tonight riding my bike and saw a girl who was walking on the sidewalk. She tripped and I stopped and asked her if she was OK. Pitch darkness, only the light of her phone and my bike lights. So I talked to her a bit and she was nice. I didn't come off as a creep, and she didn't treat me like one. She was polite, so was I, she was very thankful I took the time to ask if she was OK. Who knows, I might see her again. She said she lives on a street near me. I do know how to treat a lady. I know this. While I can get emotional when pushed, I am basically a good guy who has his flaws but overall treats a lady very well, and they sense it. I have no worries about finding someone who will appreciate me. I am also a good looking guy… women often flirt with me, and do so on a regular basis. So I will just see what happens now that this last girl evidently wants to throw me away. I can and will find others. I am VERY confident I won't last out there on the market. I simply have too much to offer, and one day that lady is going to come along and seriously just grab me and never let me go. Ok just saw this response but must have been typing my other one as you typed this. It sounds like your projecting your own fears onto other people maybe? I assure you most non jaded woman do not feel you are just looking for sex. If they do say that it's because they've made bad dating decisions and their picker is off and have chosen to become jaded instead of re calibrating their picker. In that case ...you say nice meeting you and run run run!!! Otherwise drama from this emotionally unintelligent person will overtake your life. I myself am looking to date someone who's heart is in the right place and just wants me for sex ...at least once a day 2
Author Guyouthere Posted October 4, 2015 Author Posted October 4, 2015 Ok just saw this response but must have been typing my other one as you typed this. It sounds like your projecting your own fears onto other people maybe? I assure you most non jaded woman do not feel you are just looking for sex. If they do say that it's because they've made bad dating decisions and their picker is off and have chosen to become jaded instead of re calibrating their picker. In that case ...you say nice meeting you and run run run!!! Otherwise drama from this emotionally unintelligent person will overtake your life. I myself am looking to date someone who's heart is in the right place and just wants me for sex ...at least once a day Never had any woman tell me they thought I was just looking for sex, and I believe because they can sense I am not. But like I said, many do treat guys like that. I have encountered cold women too who just assume that if a guy comes up to them, thats all they want is sex. I am a very passionate guy with the right woman. I am very physical and do spoil women like that, even massages. All of the women I have had (not a list, but a few total), have said that (even this last one concerning massages). Im worth a good woman as much as they are worth me. For that reason, it is only truly a matter of time before I will be taken, and I know it.
craw Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 The one girl who I thought would have been good for me is also a long distance away. Im discouraged I just don't see that here where I am. How far away is she?
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