Guys: Have you ever ghosted a girlfriend?

[MzLady]

Hi everyone.. I'm trying to come to terms with being ghosted. About 2 weeks ago,my boyfriend of 2 months (we'd had the exclusive talk) just stopped talking to me.. He ignored my texts and phone calls.. (My prev thread: haven't heard from my bf in 5 days) and I have not tried to contact him since last Friday because my last text was clear that I was worried about him and us and to please let me know something... That never happened.

 

Before everything went downhill, our relationship was great. We talked and texted regularly. Spent time together, met friends and family. We couldn't stop saying how amazing the other was. He put so much into showing me that he cared about me.

 

Then he went out of town for 4 days, and over the course of the trip he became more and more distant.. something just didn't feel right.. I tried to talk to him about it after he got back and he said all was ok and he was sorry for not calling.. No yelling or anything like that.. But I am sure there was frustration in my voice.

 

Fast forward to today, 2 weeks later, and we haven't spoke since. I texed once later that day (Monday), one more time on Tues asking if he was doing ok, and then last Friday I tried to call him but he let it go to voicemail. I wanted him to know that I cared enough to try one more time so I left a message saying that I didn't know what to think. That I didn't know what happened that was so bad that it came to this, that we couldn't talk about it. I told him that I cared about him and missed him. I haven't contacted him since that Friday.

 

I realize that there is nothing more I can do without coming across as crazy or desperate, and I am not either of those. I let him know that I care and that I was worried. I feel like that was enough.

 

Before he left, I had no doubt in my heart that he cared about me. Then things changed so quickly.

 

My question is this: Have any of you walked out on someone that you cared about? Why? Did you regret it? Did you try to go back? After how long? And was it ever the same?

[Toodaloo]

My question is this: Have any of you walked out on someone that you cared about?

Yes

 

Why?

Because it was never going to work

 

Did you regret it?

No

 

Did you try to go back?

No

 

After how long?

Not applicable

 

And was it ever the same?

Not applicable

 

Answers above in bold.

 

I know you are hurting but the best thing you can do is simply accept that for whatever reason this guy is not the one for you.

 

If need be then try to get angry with him or turn him into a monster in your mind, but this one is not coming back. It really is that simple.

 

You don't need to have done anything wrong and neither do they. Its just the way it is.

 

Don't answer any calls he may make. Don't respond to any texts or emails. Don't contact him again. Just take it as read that this is over and that you are now single.

 

Good luck. It sucks for a while but it does get better.

[Redhead14]

Hi everyone.. I'm trying to come to terms with being ghosted. About 2 weeks ago,my boyfriend of 2 months (we'd had the exclusive talk) just stopped talking to me.. He ignored my texts and phone calls.. (My prev thread: haven't heard from my bf in 5 days) and I have not tried to contact him since last Friday because my last text was clear that I was worried about him and us and to please let me know something... That never happened.

 

Before everything went downhill, our relationship was great. We talked and texted regularly. Spent time together, met friends and family. We couldn't stop saying how amazing the other was. He put so much into showing me that he cared about me.

 

Then he went out of town for 4 days, and over the course of the trip he became more and more distant.. something just didn't feel right.. I tried to talk to him about it after he got back and he said all was ok and he was sorry for not calling.. No yelling or anything like that.. But I am sure there was frustration in my voice.

 

Fast forward to today, 2 weeks later, and we haven't spoke since. I texed once later that day (Monday), one more time on Tues asking if he was doing ok, and then last Friday I tried to call him but he let it go to voicemail. I wanted him to know that I cared enough to try one more time so I left a message saying that I didn't know what to think. That I didn't know what happened that was so bad that it came to this, that we couldn't talk about it. I told him that I cared about him and missed him. I haven't contacted him since that Friday.

 

I realize that there is nothing more I can do without coming across as crazy or desperate, and I am not either of those. I let him know that I care and that I was worried. I feel like that was enough.

 

Before he left, I had no doubt in my heart that he cared about me. Then things changed so quickly.

 

My question is this: Have any of you walked out on someone that you cared about? Why? Did you regret it? Did you try to go back? After how long? And was it ever the same?

 

At two months, you really can't call a guy your boyfriend. Even if he said it or asked you. It's too soon to be able to say you want a commitment like that. At best, you should at least be exclusive.

 

There could have been a couple of things going on with this -- he realized he was moving too quickly and got a little scared and needs time to evaluate and, if that's the case, and he decides to move forward, he should be in touch with you soon.

 

Or, he went away, realized he didn't miss you and so wasn't as involved as he thought and now just can't tell you that. If this is the case, he's just being cowardly and you've dodge a bullet with this guy.

 

They often do regret ghosting on a woman and at some point they do come around to get closure for themselves too. But, usually, when they realize what they've done, they are still cowardly and feel too guilty to go there.

 

If this guy does call you soon, listen, don't talk. Let him tell you what's been going on with him. If he says he wants to see you, make it a public date, don't have sex with him until you're satisfied that he's all in again. Make him work for it, demonstrate that he's now decided to move forward with you.

 

Sometimes they disappear and come back because they did miss you, but it's really just the sex they missed and then they disappear again.

[Zippy2000]

To answer your question. Yes I have ghosted a girl I was seeing. I havent done it since as I ve somewhat matured.

 

When I was younger I had a girl who kept on texting me, and emailing me, and then phoning me if I hadnt replied.

 

The more she tried to contact me, the more I walked away. The reason was she kept on chasing me for answers when I wasnt ready for her.

 

I wasnt commited to her and so I didnt want to hurt her feelings so I remained silent. I guess it upset her as I could tell by her emails and texts she was getting more fustrated.

 

I was only out with her for 3 months and I dodnt feel commited to her long term so cut all ties with her. maybe thats what your boyfriend is doing.

 

You should give him time to reover and you need to start to get busy in life.

 

Reemmeber hat RED said from the film Shawshank Redemption.

 

"Get busy living, or get bust dying".

[MzLady]

I am working on putting this behind me. I guess I am seeking some understanding that 1. Really, only he could give me but 2. I will never get from him. I'm glad this happened now rather than later.. I don't even want to imagine how much more devastated I would have been.