timswan123 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Hello My name is Baron, and I am a 16 year old guy from the south. Over the summer, I met this girl online from a friend of mine (she's 18 in 2 months). Originally, Her and I were just friends and would occasionally talk together in groups calls (only voice calls) with my other friends. I then started PMing her and we became closer. She eventually gave me her number in a call (she is a very private person when it comes to people online) with the friend that introduced me and I started texting her. I'm a very horrible texter lol, so the conversations were not that great. I did maintain small talk with her and I always ended the convos, but I would always text her first. After a little while, I added her on snapchat and we would occasionally use that to talk. After a while I gave up on the small talk and told her how I felt. She said that she felt the same way but had a "thing" with another guy "right now" (LDR). She then asked if I was saying goodbye "for now" and mentioned that if I visited Cali again we could "meet up" (she lives in Cali and I live in Florida). She also said that the guy was fine with me talking to her and that "nothing has to change". I read a lot of articles and forum threads on how I should react to this, and I reacted by pretty much saying I was leaving. She was very sad, said she would miss me, said she didn't want me to leave, blah blah. I then talked to her best guy friend, the guy that introduced me, and he said that she most likely didn't have a relationship with another guy and she was trying not to hurt my feelings. He told me that I should continue talking to her and being friends. So, after around 5 days, I texted her saying sorry I was being a douche and leaving her and that I was just sad that I couldn't be with her. She said that it was ok and she was happy that we could still talk. Thus, we continued snapchatting and texting everyday. Eventually, I asked her to watch a movie with me over a Skype voice call and she said yes (we haven't watched the movie yet). After a while, we stopped texting and only snapchatted (this was two weeks ago, we also hadn't skyped in around a month). We snapchatted every single day and said goodnight to each other every night. Around last week, I asked her if she wanted to talk on skype and she said yes. We had around a 3 hour call alone and also talked the next day for a few hours. On Friday of last week, we watched the movie (Interstellar, a 3 hour long movie) and stayed up talking for another couple of hours. I talked to her the next day as well for a little. At this point, I felt like she was leading me on and that she wanted a relationship. But, before I wanted to move on with it, I had to know for sure that she didn't have a "thing" with anyone else. So, I asked one of her other friends if she did, and they said yes. Confused, I texted her asking if this was true and she said yes. I told her the story about how my other friend told me that she was lying and that I thought she was leading me on. She said she was very sorry, that she would never lie to me, it's all her fault, and that she didn't mean to lead me on. I sent her a message saying I forgive you and a very immature other text about how that she's too good to let go. She just said k goodnight to that and the next day I knew I messed up. I sent her a long message apologizing about the night before, saying I'm going to stop talking to her so that she can have her "thing", and that I understand she doesn't like me. She sent me a long message saying that I'm not intruding on anything but respects that I don't want to talk to her as much. She also said that I hope she knows that she likes spending time with me. She said that she was going to keep me updated on her life and said "bye for now". Two days later, she snapchats me. I opened it and didn't respond. Next day she does it again, and I reply and we start talking. We've been talking the last few days and I just got out of a two hour skype call with her. Now that the long story is over, I have some things I'm confused about and need help with. First off, I'm an overall shy guy. I'm not socially awkward or anything, I have lots of friends in school, guys and girls. Anyways, I'm always very shy when I speak with her on skype (we've talked a lot about each other, but never flirt), but we flirt when I snapchat her. I'm not that big of a conversationalist over texting either. I'm asking for help with this and what I can do to overcome being shy on skype and things I can talk to her about over texting. Second, not sure what I should do about her "thing". I don't think they talk that much in general, and she has never told me once that we can't talk because the guy and her had plans. She also said yes to watch a movie with me even though she has the "thing" with the other guy. She is still talking to me even though I tried minimizing contact. Should I continue talking to her and use advice to try and get a relationship out of this or should I tell her to stop talking to me? Thanks for reading this whole thing if you got through it
Lois_Griffin Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 You sound like a sweet young man whose being taken advantage of by a girl who likes your attention but has no intention of making you a 'thing.' You know this will end bad - that's the way these things usually end. Since you clearly have more emotion invested than she does, you'll be the one hurt. It's a life lesson, though. She won't be the first heartbreak and she sure won't be the last as you're only 16. You know, rather than trying to be an expert linguist on Skype, you might want to ask yourself while you're willing to disrespect yourself by being her fun side buddy while she's involved with someone else. You don't think you deserve better? 1
coryreply Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 You sound like a sweet young man whose being taken advantage of by a girl who likes your attention but has no intention of making you a 'thing.' You know this will end bad - that's the way these things usually end. Since you clearly have more emotion invested than she does, you'll be the one hurt. It's a life lesson, though. She won't be the first heartbreak and she sure won't be the last as you're only 16. You know, rather than trying to be an expert linguist on Skype, you might want to ask yourself while you're willing to disrespect yourself by being her fun side buddy while she's involved with someone else. You don't think you deserve better? My thoughts exactly.
Recommended Posts