thatdudeoverthere222 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 I'll try to make this as concise as possible. My ex and I were together for over 4 years and lived together. I have a lot of deep-seated issues from my past that have made me not be able to commit. I wanted to ask her to marry me, and I know she would have been thrilled even 6 months ago. I got depressed and pushed her away even though at the time and leading up to our breakup she was a wonderful girlfriend. We've been broken up for 3 months and I moved out 2 months ago. After the breakup, we hung out a lot. We'd flirt back and forth but any time I mentioned getting back together she doesn't want to. We said we'd try in 1 year after we both worked through our personal issues. This has been killing me as I want to get back together but I don't want to be hanging on for another 9 months. We even went out 3 weeks ago and it felt like old times, spent 14 hours together. We made out quite a few times at the bar, flirted, held each other. It was awesome. At the end of the night we started to get into a fight and I spilled my guts to her.. again. I talked to her a week after and she says she doesn't even remember us kissing..? I told her I need space, then 5 days later when I was feeling better I let her know I'm cool with being friends for now. This may have been a mistake because I should have been absolutely sure, and I know there are still some feelings left over. We hung out that night and she was being distant. She has a son that's 9 years old who I love to death and he loves me too. My therapist mentioned that it's not healthy at all to walk out on a kid and that I should still spend time with him if possible. This is the 3rd time I've gotten to take him out. We always have a blast, I love him as my own. She decided to go out when we were leaving. About 45 minutes before we're supposed to be back she asked me what our ETA is that she has to run an errand. She texts me a few minutes later saying that she's trying to get back in time but if not just put him to bed (her roommate was home so he wasn't home alone.) I put him to sleep, text her thanks for letting me take him out. Have a good night. She doesn't read my text for 30 minutes, then says we'll hang out next time afterwards, didn't mean to be so late. I haven't responded and don't intend to. I know I have no idea of knowing.. But it seems like I was watching the kid so she could go have sex with someone. That's just the feeling I have in my gut. And to be honest, she has every right to do what she wants. I have no say so in this. I just feel like a huge door-mat. I don't intend to contact her unless she contacts me. I've tried to go NC and after about a week or less she'll text me every time and we'll hang out. This has gone on long enough and is not healthy for me at all. Please tell me to man the **** up and move on with my life. I just need to hear it from someone else. Thank you.
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