Gender and Relationship Tenure; Does they effect Reconcilaiton odds?

[Gretzky99]

I know this question has been asked before. I've read it a few times on previous searches but I wanted to know if you guys think there is truth behind it?

 

1) Does being in a long term relationship increase the odds the dumper will return back in hopes to reconcile?

(The theory of a longer relationship = The better the likelihood)

 

2) Does being a female dumper mean have higher odds they will stick to their decision in not returning back in hopes to reconcile?

(The theory of males changing their minds is much more frequent than women after the dumping)

[Samuel_22]

I know this question has been asked before. I've read it a few times on previous searches but I wanted to know if you guys think there is truth behind it?

 

1) Does being in a long term relationship increase the odds the dumper will return back in hopes to reconcile?

(The theory of a longer relationship = The better the likelihood)

 

2) Does being a female dumper mean have higher odds they will stick to their decision in not returning back in hopes to reconcile?

(The theory of males changing their minds is much more frequent than women after the dumping)

Well... to begin with what's the point in even talking about these things, when someone goes, you wave your hands at them and say we had such a good time, take care... OR... You may show a finger instead of waving hands and say to hell with you and you find someone else! (Not recommended, waving hands and saying good bye is far better)

Merry-Go-Round Symptom!

The person who leaves you does not love you! Absence grows heart fonder? so what? even if they come back, they will leave you again, the absence will be no more, which means they will lose interest again, so they will go and again when absence grows their hearts fonder, they may come back again not to stay but to leave. And this not gender-specific nor the duration of the RS plays a role here...

Feeling nostalgic about the past is the main reason exes go back together, and because the present is no place for the past they break up again. Feeling nostalgic again is not gender specific nor the duration of RS has any effect on it, the intensity of emotions play the role here.

I was with a girl for 2 years when I dumped her I did not feel like going back to her anymore, I had an ex with whom I stayed for 6 months, broke up with her, and now I regret it like crazy! she is my BFF now! and I told her I regretted what I did, but it was too late, she had got engaged.

Let the numbers, statistics, figures, charts vanish for good

I am pretty sure you are not doing this for the sake of research, you are doing this to calculate your chance of reconciliation, now let me tell you your chances of reconciliation

Normal break up:30% (70% chance of failure)

Break up when your ex moves on:20% (80% chance of failure)

Break up when you are a rebound and the ex goes back to an ex:25% (75% chance of failure)

I add up a 5% to each for female dumpees and decrease 5% from each for male dumpees

does it make any difference? it does! can you turn it into anything meaningful? No.... No, because you fail to see that the chances of reconciliation are so small that it is not worth the time nor the energy to sit down and think about it...and even if they do come back! it is just Merry-go-round symptom! soon when the symptoms vanish, and the fever subsides, the monkey syndrome shows up and they will go again...

[mrldii]

From the very limited things I've read on the subject, I'd conclude that the odds are better the longer the relationship; the longer the relationship, the more chances there are for a greater number of fond memories, 'ties that bind', family get-togethers that put the ex-partners in contact with one another, etc.

 

Also, I've read studies that indicate that - due in large part to women's role in society of being the Keepers of the Relationship - once she says, "I'm done...I'm out...I'm throwing in the towel", yeah...divorce (lessening the chance of a reconciliation) is right around the corner.

[Samuel_22]

From the very limited things I've read on the subject, I'd conclude that the odds are better the longer the relationship; the longer the relationship, the more chances there are for a greater number of fond memories, 'ties that bind', family get-togethers that put the ex-partners in contact with one another, etc.

 

Also, I've read studies that indicate that - due in large part to women's role in society of being the Keepers of the Relationship - once she says, "I'm done...I'm out...I'm throwing in the towel", yeah...divorce (lessening the chance of a reconciliation) is right around the corner.

The whole argument is moot. Real world stuff don't go in accordance with statistics,figures or research...even if we alter all numbers, and say after a break up there is a big chance of reconciliation, still the relationship won't last, at university, and at school(where I teach now) I see from time to time that exes go back together, but I know 3 guys who got married after a break up, 2 of whom got divorced after almost 2 years, the 3rd couple are still going strong after 3 years, I hope they don't end up with the same outcome... I have been on loveshack for almost 2 months now, and I only saw two dumpers who regretted their break ups...it is a bad number comparing to a lot of dumpees who seek help, and both of them were girls not boys.

[Gretzky99]

From the very limited things I've read on the subject, I'd conclude that the odds are better the longer the relationship; the longer the relationship, the more chances there are for a greater number of fond memories, 'ties that bind', family get-togethers that put the ex-partners in contact with one another, etc.

 

Also, I've read studies that indicate that - due in large part to women's role in society of being the Keepers of the Relationship - once she says, "I'm done...I'm out...I'm throwing in the towel", yeah...divorce (lessening the chance of a reconciliation) is right around the corner.

 

Damm. Both of these things go against any of my already limited chances. =(

[Samuel_22]

Damm. Both of these things go against any of my already limited chances. =(

So what? You are lucky! Move on man! even if she comes back, she is not gonna be there for too long! Just move on and never look back...

Good Luck

[mrldii]

The whole argument is moot. Real world stuff don't go in accordance with statistics,figures or research...even if we alter all numbers, and say after a break up there is a big chance of reconciliation, still the relationship won't last, at university, and at school(where I teach now) I see from time to time that exes go back together, but I know 3 guys who got married after a break up, 2 of whom got divorced after almost 2 years, the 3rd couple are still going strong after 3 years, I hope they don't end up with the same outcome... I have been on loveshack for almost 2 months now, and I only saw two dumpers who regretted their break ups...it is a bad number comparing to a lot of dumpees who seek help, and both of them were girls not boys.

 

Oh. I've only read about it, not conducted academic studies/research on the matter. What I've read jived with what I've seen/experienced in the real world, so what I formed my opinion is really, simply based on common sense...longer relationships should have a higher (NOT perfect) rate of reconciliation and women are the ones who statistically file for divorce more often.

 

*Sorry* that you don't agree with my opinion. But, OP was asking each of us for OUR opinions and yes, that IS my opinion...

 

...no matter how much YOU tell me it isn't/shouldn't be MY opinion.

[Samuel_22]

Oh. I've only read about it, not conducted academic studies/research on the matter. What I've read jived with what I've seen/experienced in the real world, so what I formed my opinion is really, simply based on common sense...longer relationships should have a higher (NOT perfect) rate of reconciliation and women are the ones who statistically file for divorce more often.

 

*Sorry* that you don't agree with my opinion. But, OP was asking each of us for OUR opinions and yes, that IS my opinion...

 

...no matter how much YOU tell me it isn't/shouldn't be MY opinion.

But I did not say anything....:( I just said no no don't go back... I said the subject is not a good one, because you should not think of going back :(

[mrldii]

But I did not say anything....:( I just said no no don't go back... I said the subject is not a good one, because you should not think of going back :(

 

Ahhhhh...now, I see what happened.

 

You quoted my post, and then went on to indicate how wrong reconciling is. I'd not written that reconciling was wrong, I'd only answered the OP's questions, based on my opinion which is based on my experiences in the world.

 

If you're not responding to something that A poster wrote, don't use the "quote" icon, use the "reply" icon (the one that looks like a sheet of paper with a quill pen...the one furthest to the right). That way, uppity women like me, who are spoiling for a fight, won't think you're taking special exception to what we've written.

 

 

It's all good...no harm, no foul...just a misunderstanding!

[mrldii]

Damm. Both of these things go against any of my already limited chances. =(

 

 

So, it appears you are a man...whose woman broke it off...and it was a shorter - rather than longer - relationship.

 

 

Just out of curiosity (and I ask this of my female friends, when they're on the receiving end of a break-up):

 

Why would you want to be with someone who - for whatever reason, good or bad, real or made-up - doesn't want to be with you?!?

 

 

Personally, I wouldn't. Part of my attraction to him IS his attraction to me; part of MY desire to be in a relationship IS his desire to be there, too. The second he's out, I'm out, too...sure, it may hurt and I may be disappointed, but I could NEVER want someone who doesn't want me, too.

 

I don't do unrequited love...that's the sh*t that medieval literature and and Hollywood movies are made of...and NOT the way the real world works.

 

 

Best of luck to you, OP...

[Liono84]

This is pointless!!

 

Although there may be a slight increase in statistical odds to both of those questions, it really holds no water because as we all say, every breakup is different. There are way too many variables involved in why the breakup occurred, and furthermore, no two people are the same.

[Samuel_22]

Ahhhhh...now, I see what happened.

 

You quoted my post, and then went on to indicate how wrong reconciling is. I'd not written that reconciling was wrong, I'd only answered the OP's questions, based on my opinion which is based on my experiences in the world.

 

If you're not responding to something that A poster wrote, don't use the "quote" icon, use the "reply" icon (the one that looks like a sheet of paper with a quill pen...the one furthest to the right). That way, uppity women like me, who are spoiling for a fight, won't think you're taking special exception to what we've written.

 

 

It's all good...no harm, no foul...just a misunderstanding!

Roger That!!! Sorry for the misunderstanding thou uppity woman!!! And please, please spare my life, I am too young! I make a promise not to hit that button again, not until I am alive!

I am happy I am a member of this forum! you people are really nice!

Good Luck both to the OP and The uppity woman!