Syconort Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) Ok, so I'm a 28 year old guy. I've struggled with self-esteem issues my whole life. I had a 2 month fling when I was 22 (lost my virginity) and found out she was also sleeping with her ex. I didn't have sex for another 6 years until I met this woman (33). She was late bloomer herself (first bf at 24), has been cheated on before, and generally hasn't had much luck in relationships either. Thing is, we're looking for different things. She is obviously thinking about settling down, and I've only just started dating again. We're both aware that this won't last forever, but we're enjoying our time together at the moment. However.. my self-esteem issues are ruining my ability to have fun. This is the first time in my life I've had regular sex and I've started to develop confidence-shattering problems like erectile dysfunction (have since been prescribed viagra). Along with that, I'm massively insecure about her running off with someone else even though she's never cheated before and stuck with her last boyfriend for 4 years, the last year not even having sex. She seems very loyal, but part of me thinks she'll find someone who doesn't have these problems. She's going out with coworkers this weekend (leaving do) and I know at least one of them has tried to get more flirty with her over text (he's got a gf, though, but isn't happy). I've had these horrific images of her taking one of her coworkers back to her place as he satisfies her more than I ever could. The thought twists my insides and yet I can't help but torture myself with it, almost like it's bound to happen. It doesn't help that she tells me they have frank conversations about sex. She said she thinks they see her as one of the guys, but I'm not that naive. We've been seeing each other for a few months and have moved quite fast. We see each other most weekends, have had a few trips together, plenty of bf/gf stuff. I've opened up to her and she has, in return, completely opened up to me. We are incredibly close for how long we've known each other. My ultimate aim with this relationship is to have as much fun as possible while maintaining a healthy level of emotional involvement. Right now, I'm emotionally all over the place, and I know my jealousy and insecurity will eventually drive her away if I don't manage it. She's been really patient, but I'm thinking that's only because she's not that confident herself. Maybe this is turning into a co-dependent relationship. Has anybody been in a similar situation or have any words of wisdom? I'm thinking I'll probably need to see a therapist or something to finally overcome these issues. Is this all in my head? Edited October 1, 2015 by Syconort
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