guest569 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I have been so strong up until now! Today I have been seriously tempted to contact him. I'm busy working at home which doesn't help, if I could get out and do fun activities I would be better off. But I am sat here trying not to procrastinate and my mind easily wanders and dwells on things. What for? Of all things, I want to check how he is doing and make sure he is ok.. and I simply want to hear from him, cause I miss him. The one thing holding me back is the knowledge that if he replies, my heart rate will go 1 million bpm and I will feel sick and sad at whatever he says whether it is good or bad. I am still hopeful that he will get over things and come back. I do feel that he just doesn't fancy me though. But I hope!! hope is so annoying especially when it is probably false. I just wish he would contact me to show that he thought of me and hasn't completely forgotten me already. Anyone got any tips for staying strong when you're stuck around the house? And how to focus on work. I do go for a nice run each day which helps. I thought about deleting his number but I am too scared. My friends are pretty useless, I am scrolling through my contacts for help but there's no-one who I can reach out to. I have a few that I really want to go and drink with once my work is done. I know it will help to go out and be with people.
David87 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Hummm, why do you still have his number? For what purpose? Just delete it, better yet change your phone number so he cound never disturb your healing. Imagine im your ex, shoot me a message and I will respond.
Author guest569 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 I haven't really felt the need until today so i didn't think i needed to delete his number . changing mine isn't an option and i don't want to completely cut him out. He sent a post-breakup apologetic text and i ignored it. I should leave it at that. I guess i don't have much to say as i am still shocked. I was led on,used,cheated and am pret hurt as a result and he gave me a glimmer of hope. All i could say is just "hope you're doing ok" which just so stupid cause he had put me through this and hurt me .
K2z Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I relate to you so strongly. Hope courses through my veins and I suspect it may be an illusion, at least mostly so. Yet I hang on to it.
Author guest569 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 I relate to you so strongly. Hope courses through my veins and I suspect it may be an illusion, at least mostly so. Yet I hang on to it. I think it's how i cope cause i can't stand this situation.
David87 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 You:hope you're doing ok Ex: Humm thank you, but who is this? Stop letting people treat you like you're a doormat, you worth more than that.
Author guest569 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 You:hope you're doing ok Ex: Humm thank you, but who is this? Stop letting people treat you like you're a doormat, you worth more than that. Lol it hasnt been that long he knows who i am. . It's just hard to let go.
David87 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Maybe he deleted your number, anyway its a bad idea.... A piece of your heart is missing because you’ve given it away to your ex.... After the break up, you can never get it back. You need your space to let your heart heal or have it filled with love from another person. Staying connected will always remind you of that gaping hole inside you.
jen1447 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Add in a couple walks to your run. Whatever it takes to use up that nervous energy.
singme2sleep Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I understand the urge to make contact, even if you're sure he won't reply. I was in that frame of mind yesterday. It was the first day at my new job and all I kept thinking was I want to talk to him. But everyone is right, breaking NC only hurts us. Try taking your phone and putting it up high somewhere in your house. You'll prob not be able to stop thinking about it, but if you stay strong you will be proud of yourself when the urgent desire to text him ends. Hang in there girl!
Author guest569 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 He said a couple of times he still wants to see me.. i asked if he meant friends and he was sort of confused and said maybe something will develop. I don't know if that is his idea of letting me down gently. I didn't really say much at all when he dumped me. So why bother now. I just wish he would care to reach out. But I am the one doing the ignoring
Blanco Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 You got dumped, but you want to check and make sure HE is OK?
Author guest569 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 You got dumped, but you want to check and make sure HE is OK? Sounds stupid right. He's going through a lot but it's not my problem anymore. 1
dyna85 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Don't do it smiley. You've been so strong. Keep pushing forward and never stop. Keep doing you. You need to build yourself up more and see your worth. Sometimes it helps to force aside the thoughts and fight for yourself. The reality is, you deserve to be cared for--by yourself first. If you contact him, you will feel so much worse. The fact that you recognize this and have resisted acting on impulse demonstrates your strength. And another thing... delete his number. He led you on, used you, cheated on you... so how is he worthy of your attention? How do you know he's going through a lot? Are you checking up on him via facebook or something? If so, stop doing that. It's holding you back.
Author guest569 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 And another thing... delete his number. He led you on, used you, cheated on you... so how is he worthy of your attention? How do you know he's going through a lot? Are you checking up on him via facebook or something? If so, stop doing that. It's holding you back. I can't delete it, just cant. I am not checking up on him. He seemed pretty upset and confused because of what his ex did and I still care about him. But maybe it is all an excuse and he just doesn't want me. Obviously he doesn't care about me anymore.
Blanco Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 You can't expect people to offer advice or lend support when you're not even willing to take basic Breakup 101 steps such as deleting the ex's number from your phone. You say you can't delete his number. No, you WON'T delete his number. Big difference, unless his phone number is literally being re-added to your phone every time you delete it. 1
dyna85 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I can't delete it, just cant. I am not checking up on him. He seemed pretty upset and confused because of what his ex did and I still care about him. But maybe it is all an excuse and he just doesn't want me. Obviously he doesn't care about me anymore. You can delete it. You need to, for your sanity and well being. He's not worth it, if he lied and cheated on you. When is the last time you spoke with him?
Author guest569 Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 Its all quite recent . I just feel cheated cause he was seeing me but in love with the ex ..he didn't know and didn't do this on purpose. I'm trying not to turn bitter over this . i shouldn't even care but i think the fact we slept together and i feel used and he seemed keen. I really liked this one and felt something
jen1447 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Don't worry about deleting numbers and all that hon - that'll come on your own schedule if at all, not anyone else's. You're in the middle of some serious emotional turmoil here so don't feel bad about any of your emotions or urges or reluctances. You're not really in control of them at this point. Things will get better, promise. Just hang in there. ((hugs)) 6
Author guest569 Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 I have to believe that he has given me the truth and stop questioning myself and wondering what I did wrong to put him off. I want answers from him, I want to know what I did to turn him away. Or do I just want reassurance from him? Or simply contact! It's just so bizarre that he is gone so suddenly.
David87 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Believe it or not he actually did you a favor by ending the relationship so fast. Your healing process will be much easier and with less drama, dont mess that up. Just look at my first post, I was a wreck.....and look at me now, you know what helped me a lot, besides the good people on LS?......NO CONTACT. 2
Haydn Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Believe it or not he actually did you a favor by ending the relationship so fast. Your healing process will be much easier and with less drama, dont mess that up. Just look at my first post, I was a wreck.....and look at me now, you know what helped me a lot, besides the good people on LS?......NO CONTACT. Worked for me as well. A few slip ups but got there. Look at my posts as well..... 2
Author guest569 Posted October 2, 2015 Author Posted October 2, 2015 Believe it or not he actually did you a favor by ending the relationship so fast. Your healing process will be much easier and with less drama, dont mess that up. Just look at my first post, I was a wreck.....and look at me now, you know what helped me a lot, besides the good people on LS?......NO CONTACT. I agree, it's good that he didn't drag it out. I have made that mistake in the past of clinging on and reaching out to ask questions, which always made me feel worse (although sometimes I would initially feel better from the 'closure' and 'ending on good terms' or 'saying that last goodbye') it's so fricken stupid. No, I won't have it! This is nothing really, but I am still heartbroken by it. 1
David87 Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 It's normal to be heartbroken, your ex disappointed you..... I'm glad you decided to stick with NC. 1
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