JBird2001 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I figured there had to be a good explanation. You have a good heart
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 Thank you. I don't have a good heart right now towards my soon to be ex. But his dad is outside all of this and I'm glad I was able to help a little.
lovel Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 I did not post here expecting everyone to agree with me. And I also said in the first post it's not the right way to do things. But yes, I have already made up my mind that I am going to do this, and yes, it's about revenge for me. I want to publicly humiliate him. That's all. Yes, I could be a much better person about this, but I choose not to be.bi choose to do it the dirty way. Because he deserves to be humiliated the way he is humiliating me. I appreciate ALL the comments, I am not taking anything personally. Read through this thread cheering you on. I may be biased though. Our stories aren't the same, but just found out my guy has a profile on a dating site too (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/552615-looking-some-support) and this feeling SUCKS. Now I kinda wish I went the 'fake profile' route and messaged him. At least you have proof, whereas my guy just flat out lied to me and said he was 'looking for friends.' WHY do people this??? 1
Author Christina2021 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 (edited) *** UPDATE *** Well I decided not to do the FB thing for the whole world to see. I couldn't go on with this any longer. I ended my relationship with him and told him I knew all about it. I did not tell him I was the person in the fake profile. He is now all apologetic and wanting me back etc etc etc but I am done. I forgave cheating before, and it only served to bite me harder as I was cheated on again by the same person. Never again. He actually feels that it's normal for a man to cheat when he is not sexually satisfied. I stopped reciprocating sex when I found out he was on the dating website. So I guess he thinks he is justified to do all that he did. Which makes me hate him even more. Jerk. Glad it's over. Here are some of his responses: " I'm sorry for lying to you about POF and thiswhole episode with xxxxxx. I neverwanted to hurt you, it was very stupid thinking on my part. Now I've lost you and that will be verydifficult for me to get over. I don't suspect I will find someone as good as you ever again. """ """ I completely don't blame you for not forgiving me. I want you to know that you are agreat woman and you have a wonderful family. You will be a great fit for any guy so when you are ready to date againkeep in mind that you are a great catch! I'm still very happy about your promotion and your daughters early success with modeling. I'm very sad that I won't beable to share and experience in her success. I would still very much like to be friends with you, butI'll leave that up to you. """"" " Well I guess I learned mylesson with xxxx too late. I did figure out that all thatinteracting with her would hurt you and that there was no good that would comefrom it. That's why I ended it and deleted my POF account. But likeI've said before it was too little too late. This is a flaw with me withmy inexperience with being in relationships. Yes I was hoping that after I had cut things with xxxxxx. that you would never have found out about it. Then it would just become history. "As far as my views on sex, well I'm not sure there's any point in talking about it as you will just see it as me trying to defend myself. All guys do think this, they're just usually not stupid enough to tell other women. That's my fault. That is why guys cheat on their significant others, because they are not sexually satisfied. I'm not saying it's right, but that is what goes through a guys head. That's his motivation " Ok, well everything you are saying is correct. I was tempted by xxxxx and I gave into it without thinking of the consequences. That was a mistake and now I must suffer the consequences for it. I learned my lesson too late that you are a great match for me" Edited October 13, 2015 by Christina2021
Author Christina2021 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 Read through this thread cheering you on. I may be biased though. Our stories aren't the same, but just found out my guy has a profile on a dating site too (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/552615-looking-some-support) and this feeling SUCKS. Now I kinda wish I went the 'fake profile' route and messaged him. At least you have proof, whereas my guy just flat out lied to me and said he was 'looking for friends.' WHY do people this??? well, it was very painful for me to do the fake profile thing and find out all the things I did. but I know my guy would have never admitted the truth. even his responses after he was caught says that..he wanted me to not find out and it would be history, to quote his words. I wish I never had to go this route, but I felt I had no choice. I could have been way more nastier and played him for a while, but I wanted it over with. I have no time for this bs anymore, he does not deserve my effort and energy put into it. good luck. I always say follow your instincts. if a man was honest with you, you would know and feel it. if you are suspicious, chances are you have a reason to be suspicious. just my opinion.
Author Christina2021 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 and another email this morning. " I'm not meaning to defend myself. I thoroughly admit that I did something wrong, and I am sincerely saddened that I have hurt you. I never wanted to do that. I was just trying to explain the reasons behind my actions so that you would have a better understanding. I don't want to hide anything, there's no point in that now. I also believe that you deserve to know everything and I have no problems telling you everything. I am definitely sorry that I wasn't mature enough to accept my relationship with you, and not play around with POF. That's definitely a flaw on my part, and perhaps it is best that I had to learn about it the hard way. I had gotten to the point where I was seeing myself living with you and thinking what it would be like to be married to you. Now I've lost all of that. ""
Ryan_XD Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 I met my bf on a dating website 10 months ago and we have been dating ever since. although I was not crazy attracted to him from the beginning, he seemed to treat me very well, so I stayed in the relationship hoping that eventually an emotional bond will form but for me it never did. The chemistry just isn't there for me The relationship in my opinion should of never lasted 10 months in the first place. From the sounds of it, he was only after a FWB and when you tell us that you stayed with him because of "how good the sex is" it sounds like you wanted the same. He's a liar yes and deserves to be named and shamed. But to an extent you wasn't exactly truthful to him by staying with him when you established you didn't have any chemistry or connection with him.
Author Christina2021 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 The relationship in my opinion should of never lasted 10 months in the first place. From the sounds of it, he was only after a FWB and when you tell us that you stayed with him because of "how good the sex is" it sounds like you wanted the same. He's a liar yes and deserves to be named and shamed. But to an extent you wasn't exactly truthful to him by staying with him when you established you didn't have any chemistry or connection with him. I don't recall saying I stayed bc the sex was good. If I did, then that's not entirely correct. I stayed because I hoped to "develop" a chemistry with him. I have in the past dated guys who were attractive, physical chemistry, but did not treat me the best. This guy treated me good (well so I thought). Obviously I was wrong. But I did NOT go into a relationship with him with intent to deceive, like he did. Regardless, that's not the point, and I don't need to defend why I stayed. I tried to look beyond the physical, that's the simple way to say it. I never claimed to be truthful in all of this. I said from the very beginning that I knew what I was doing was not good, meaning, doing the fake profile thing. I would not recommend it but for ME, it was the ONLY way to find out the truth, and for that reason, I don't regret what I did.
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