Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) Hi there - before I tell you my story, I would like to point out that I know that what I'm doing to my bf is cruel, but after finding out the things I did, I no longer feel bad, and if that makes me a horrible person, then that's what I am. I am just hear to hear your thoughts on this situation. I met my bf on a dating website 10 months ago and we have been dating ever since. although I was not crazy attracted to him from the beginning, he seemed to treat me very well, so I stayed in the relationship hoping that eventually an emotional bond will form but for me it never did. The chemistry just isn't there for me. unfortunately he on the other hand fell in love with me, well, so he says, and talks about a future etc etc etc. so I had made the decision to end the relationship ( I haven't yet ). because the sex is so good it's taking me longer than I would have liked because I kept going back for more. We both left the dating site where we met. I found out he was on another dating site four months into the relationship. We had broken up for a week and when we got back together, long story short, I found out he went looking on this other site and met a girl and added her to Facebook but never met, so he says. When we got back together he said he left the site and took her off Facebook. a few weeks ago curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know if he was still on this site. I created a fake profile simply to see if I could find him. I found him within five minutes, viewed his profile, and by that night he was chatting with " Joelle " , me in disguise. I started chatting back to get info. He basically said he was single and looking for a gf. long story short, he flirted like crazy, "Joelle" went along with it and it turned to a sexual chat. It was very explicit in the things he would like to do to "Joelle" etc etc etc. " Joelle" then proposed to meet him the next night just to hook up for sex, and the a-hole said yes. He asked her out to dinner, the same place he took me on our first date. of course the next day "joelle" cancelled the date for work reasons. I have been chatting with him ever since as "Joelle, abs he is now confiding so much in her. He talks about me, about our sex like, says some horrible things about me. Oh, he referred to me as an ex he broke up with three months ago. As "Joelle", I learned he had other dates, but not sexual, no connection. I learned that he blames me for his female friends not being close to him anymore, I learned that his female friends hate me, and that he values his friendships more than his relationship with me. and I learned that he will very easily cheat on meet, meet a random stranger for sex. He has now told "Joelle" that he had sex with this ex (me) and the sex got us back together. I guess by he added her to fb he needed to explain me. Meanwhile we never even broke up. So he continues to talk to "Joelle" daily, lots about sex, and still says maybe one day he will meet her. The chats were so explicit and dirty that I'm so angry and want to bust him publicly for being such a pig. He acts like this clean cut perfect guy who hates cheaters etc and this is what he does ? He is going away mid November and will be on a plane for twelve hours with no internet. I want to post the explicit chats on his fb so ppl can see what a dog he is. and he won't know it's posted for quite a few hours. He is also very demeaning to women, telling "Joelle" that the only reason men cheat is by their women don't try hard enough to satisfy them sexually. Since this, It has been hard for me to reciprocate And he has noticed. My plan is to have Joelle post the messages revealing him as a cheater, and he will never know its me. That way he feels even worse for doing this to me and having me find out like that. Your thoughts? Edited October 1, 2015 by Christina2021
Popsicle Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Typical cheater. I would take the high road and just tell him what you've discovered and dump him without the FB exposure. The most important part being to dump him and never look back. Don't be one of those people who stays with a cheater just because he cries and says he's sorry, or has BPD or some crap. 1
mightycpa Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) :lmao: :lmao:H, yeah, y:lmao:u are a h:lmao:rrible pers:lmao:n! But you seem to have sense of humor about all this. If you do post your revenge, make sure you find a picture of the skankiest, pimpliest, uber-obese, most unattractive woman you can possibly find, and that's Joelle. She should also post the steamy part where the two of them will hookup when he returns. I suppose after that, you'll break up with him on FB, and tell Joelle that she can have him. Make sure you take all your stuff before he goes. H:lmao:rrible! I can't imagine what it would be like finding that on your wall. Edited October 1, 2015 by mightycpa
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Just split up. Stop making drama. Just split up and move on. 5
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 I totally realize it's drama and I should just dump him and move on. I'm doing this simply bc I feel hurt, angry, disappointed, and extremely betrayed. unfortunately FB is where there's lots of communication and it sickens me to see everyone putting him on a pedestal about what a great person he is, what a great catch he is, how lucky I am to have him etc. I also suspect he has other women he's added as I see the random add and then unfriend a week later, but i don't question it. Now I just sit back, watch,, and wait, he has also told "Joelle" some distasteful things about some of his female friends... That they are so hot and when he goes out with them and their bfs he wishes he could "f them and show them how a real man is etc etc etc. believe me if you saw some of the chats it's disgusting. So yes, it's best to just tell him take the high road now, but I don't want him to know I am Joelle. I feel that if I do, somehow things will,turn to what I did, and there will be less focus on the dog he really is. I have to wait till. I've bc it's the only time he's away from fb that will allow me time. Believe me it's hard seeing him, I cringe when he touches me. he chats with me everyday telling me he misses me, loves me, wants to make Christmas plans, and a lot of these times he's chatting with Joelle at the exact same time telling her how it's so refreshing to find a woman like her blah Noah blah, I am not in love with him. Yes I feel extremely betrayed, but I am over him now. I just want to hurt him back now. Wrong I know, but I'm being selfish and doing what I want, just like he's selfish and doing what he wants when I'm working my a$$ off all night and can't chat or be with him,band he goes elsewhere. He deserves for everyone to see his true colours. He also owes me money so I'm trying to get it all cackle before I bust him. Let's not lose sight of the issue, his cheating and win,I got to f anything that comes his way, including strange women he's not even met. Ugh I despise him a lot today.
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I totally realize it's drama and I should just dump him and move on. So go on then. You have a choice here. You can either do what is the best for yourself, or you can drag on the awful experience and feelings for longer and longer. It's totally up to you. 1
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 Joelle is going to post the cyber chat they had, about how he would give her oral in detail, how he would do it, how she can come over whenever she is horny and he will f her all night long. The jerk. She's going to post their chat about what he thinks about women. That they need to satisfy their men better so men won't cheat. that sex is 90% the most important thing in a relationship. that he likes having these women friends by they talk to him about sex and gets off on hearing their stories! Oh, I have Joelle as a sexy blonde European girl, of course, he told her European women are his fav bc North American women are too inhibited and boring, yes, when I bust him I may have Joelle reveal she's some old unattractive ogre. I hate him today so much.
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 He will just label you as a psycho ex girlfriend, and tell all his friends that's what you are. Not only are you prolonging your own suffering by wallowing in all of this, you're even going to fail in your objective of hurting him. Just walk away now and cut your losses before you do yourself even more damage. Or don't. Up to you. 3
CarrieT Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Why are you waiting until November? Just print out the convos and give him a copy. Putting it out on FB will only be deleted by him within minutes and make you look like a Psycho out for revenge. How long have you been chatting as Joelle? Time to call it a day and end the game-playing. 1
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 He's not going to know its me. And yes, I choose to do it this way. I want to humiliate him in the worst way possible. He deserves it. I know it's not the mature way, but like I said, I don't give a crap about that anymore, I want to publicly humiliate him then I will never speak to him again.
mrldii Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 ...I'm doing this simply bc I feel hurt, angry, disappointed, and extremely betrayed... Let's not lose sight of the issue, his cheating and win,I got to f anything that comes his way, including strange women he's not even met. Ugh I despise him a lot today... That's A LOT of emotion and invested energy in someone you simply got together with and *stayed with* because the sex was good, even though you - and I quote - "...I was not crazy attracted to him from the beginning, he seemed to treat me very well, so I stayed in the relationship hoping that eventually an emotional bond will form but for me it never did. The chemistry just isn't there for me..." DO confront him with what you know and how you know it. DON'T expose it to him via a public posting on FB. You'll simply look *like* the batsh*t-crazy ex that got dumped and now wants revenge. THAT'S the spin he'll put on it and, chances are, others will believe his version. 2
CarrieT Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 DON'T expose it to him via a public posting on FB. You'll simply look *like* the batsh*t-crazy ex that got dumped and now wants revenge. THAT'S the spin he'll put on it and, chances are, others will believe his version. Repeated for truth.
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 I keep saying that I am not going to reveal its me. He is not going to know its me. why am I waiting till nov. be he owes me a large sum of money and says he needs a month to pay me the rest he owes. Also be he is travelling then and will be on a plane for ten hours with no fb access. Enough time for everyone to see his disgusting chats that will be posted. yes,I am not emotionally attached to him. We were very good friends more than anything else, at least that's what I thought. I'm angry be he is totally playing me and now I want to play him. He deserves it. 1
mightycpa Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I don't think some of you guys get it. This is who will post the vitriol on FB: Joelle She's going to "find out" and then let Joelle have him in a FB dumping. 2
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 He's such an idiot. He added this Joelle person to his FB and there are posts of him and I all over his wall. Yes, Joelle is going to do all the dirty work. Then I want to hear his explanation to me. Then I will tell him to F off with his online women and stay out of my life, But first I want all my stuff back and my money. I am a single mom, I work my butt off and can't afford to lend money. I helped him out, out of the kindness of my heart, because I cared for him and his well being. Al, the while he's cyber sexing and wanting to meet these women behind my back? Sorry for the confusion between the two women. Me and Joelle. It will be over Nov 15. Until,then I work a lot and avoid him like the plague. And get an std test. 1
mrldii Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I don't think some of you guys get it. This is who will post the vitriol on FB: Joelle She's going to "find out" and then let Joelle have him in a FB dumping. No, I get that. Again and still, it's A LOT of emotion and invested energy and plotting and biding of time ('til November, is it?) over a guy she never even cared about. Regardless of any other factor, in OP's shoes, I'D know I did it...even if no other person on the planet did. I still have to look at myself in the mirror, every single day. The chances are REAL good that sooner or later it IS going to get traced back to OP, if for no other reason that if it DOES garner the response she desires, she's going to want to *brag* about it to SOMEone. But, hey, OP...if you need third-person instant internet notoriety and have a compulsion to experience *your* 15 minutes of virtual and viral fame, go for it! You'd already decided you ARE going to do it, long before making your post, here. Seeeeee? You're so proud of your hand in it, you've already confessed to it and acknowledged his undoing will be all YOUR doing. You believe you're not going to want a little credit when you make him the laughing stock of the internet?!? Enjoy *your* revenge.
mightycpa Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Then I want to hear his explanation to me.Ah, the flaw in the plan. Revenge is a dish best served cold. This means that after he reads Joelle's FB post, then he reads yours where you dump him, and that's the last he ever hears from you. That's the strong move. The weak move is to confront him later. If you're going to do that, then skip all the drama. Just yell at him and be done with it. What could he possibly tell you that would make you feel good or even better? What if something slips out and he catches on to you? No Tina...do your public humiliation if you must, but end it there. Ask any guy on this forum.. when a girl turns her back and walks away without ever looking back, that's the worst.
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 I did not post here expecting everyone to agree with me. And I also said in the first post it's not the right way to do things. But yes, I have already made up my mind that I am going to do this, and yes, it's about revenge for me. I want to publicly humiliate him. That's all. Yes, I could be a much better person about this, but I choose not to be.bi choose to do it the dirty way. Because he deserves to be humiliated the way he is humiliating me. I appreciate ALL the comments, I am not taking anything personally.
mightycpa Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 What if he comes here after, looking for some solace, and finds this thread?
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 Yes it will be ended there. he will never hear from me or see me again.
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 It's fine if he comes here and finds this thread. He's the cheater, not me. I'm just playing the game he started.
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 He is not going to know its me. If you say so. Do remember to come back and let us all know how it went! 1
d0nnivain Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 He's not going to know its me. And yes, I choose to do it this way. I want to humiliate him in the worst way possible. He deserves it. I want to publicly humiliate him He's not going to care. In his mind when you do this, all he's going to do is confirm that you are the crazy chick he said all this crap about to Joelle. Just dump him & walk away. Your life gets better faster if you just leave now with your head held high.
JBird2001 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 But first I want all my stuff back and my money. I am a single mom, I work my butt off and can't afford to lend money. I helped him out, out of the kindness of my heart, because I cared for him and his well being. Al, the while he's cyber sexing and wanting to meet these women behind my back? I'm just curious; what did you lend him money for? What kind of guy would even accept borrowing a large sum of money from a single working mom?
Author Christina2021 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 I posted a response about why I lent him money but don't see it, I apologize if it's duplicated. I lent him money bc he was feeling very distressed about something and I felt bad and sad for him. His father is elderly and disabled. He needed certain things done around the house to help him move around better. my bf often spoke of how bad he felt not having the money to help his dad, and he felt like he failed his dad bc it's his responsibility to help. I met his dad and saw his struggles. It was heart breaking. I did not give my bf the cash directly. We hired someone to do the work, and I paid him. We have a repayment schedule and he's stuck by it, the debt is almost paid back. I'm not worried about being paid back, but i would just like to get it all back first. I did worry a bit after I did it, but older people who can't care for themselves are a soft spot for me. I just wanted to help his dad. So that's why I lent him money.
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