PC96 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 My ex and I had a mutual breakup a month ago but I sent 3 messages asking for her back the first week. I have been trying to do NC over 3 weeks. About a week and a half ago, I caved and sent her an email saying that basically I need time to myself but please don't exclude the possibility of something happening between us a few years down the road when we've both changed a bit and had more experience. Then I proceeded to say "but if your decision is firm, then I will respect it." So today I got an email from her telling me that she just got the email because she doesn't check the address I sent it to very often asking me if I still wanted an answer. I replied with "It's okay. I was just being overemotional. I just want respectfully ask you not to contact me anymore because I want a clean break and make sure I don't have any hope. I might contact you one day when I'm sure I'm indifferent towards you. I hope the way I reacted didn't taint the way you see me or made you regret anything. I sincerely hope you have a amazing time in college and find fulfillment in life. Thanks for everything I know I shouldn't have responded but it gave me relief knowing that it was my decision and knowing that I grew some and I finally chose to let go internally. I don't have any plans to contact her back. Maybe one day way down the road when I've completely forgotten about her and I'm scrolling through my facebook account and suddenly remember that she exists, but that is still a solid maybe. I meant everything I said and I'm relieved I got it out of my system. What do you guys think?
louxor Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 My ex and I had a mutual breakup a month ago but I sent 3 messages asking for her back the first week. I have been trying to do NC over 3 weeks. About a week and a half ago, I caved and sent her an email saying that basically I need time to myself but please don't exclude the possibility of something happening between us a few years down the road when we've both changed a bit and had more experience. Then I proceeded to say "but if your decision is firm, then I will respect it." So today I got an email from her telling me that she just got the email because she doesn't check the address I sent it to very often asking me if I still wanted an answer. I replied with "It's okay. I was just being overemotional. I just want respectfully ask you not to contact me anymore because I want a clean break and make sure I don't have any hope. I might contact you one day when I'm sure I'm indifferent towards you. I hope the way I reacted didn't taint the way you see me or made you regret anything. I sincerely hope you have a amazing time in college and find fulfillment in life. Thanks for everything I know I shouldn't have responded but it gave me relief knowing that it was my decision and knowing that I grew some and I finally chose to let go internally. I don't have any plans to contact her back. Maybe one day way down the road when I've completely forgotten about her and I'm scrolling through my facebook account and suddenly remember that she exists, but that is still a solid maybe. I meant everything I said and I'm relieved I got it out of my system. What do you guys think? Despite the 3 messages in the first week, I think you made the right decision. Realising the facts and knowing what you have to in order to recover is a big part of the recovery process itself and it seems to me like you just ticked off those two boxes. Good luck with the weeks to come, I hope it becomes easier for you
metaversus Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Kudos! I would have been gutted if my ex wrote that to me, even if I was the dumper! I think the dumpers want us to think we're sitting around pining over them. Often times it's an ego thing, they just don't want to admit that to us or themselves. Took a lot of strength for you to do that. Now don't screw it up;) lol! My ex and I had a mutual breakup a month ago but I sent 3 messages asking for her back the first week. I have been trying to do NC over 3 weeks. About a week and a half ago, I caved and sent her an email saying that basically I need time to myself but please don't exclude the possibility of something happening between us a few years down the road when we've both changed a bit and had more experience. Then I proceeded to say "but if your decision is firm, then I will respect it." So today I got an email from her telling me that she just got the email because she doesn't check the address I sent it to very often asking me if I still wanted an answer. I replied with "It's okay. I was just being overemotional. I just want respectfully ask you not to contact me anymore because I want a clean break and make sure I don't have any hope. I might contact you one day when I'm sure I'm indifferent towards you. I hope the way I reacted didn't taint the way you see me or made you regret anything. I sincerely hope you have a amazing time in college and find fulfillment in life. Thanks for everything I know I shouldn't have responded but it gave me relief knowing that it was my decision and knowing that I grew some and I finally chose to let go internally. I don't have any plans to contact her back. Maybe one day way down the road when I've completely forgotten about her and I'm scrolling through my facebook account and suddenly remember that she exists, but that is still a solid maybe. I meant everything I said and I'm relieved I got it out of my system. What do you guys think?
hunk Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Your response was great. Now do not ever contact her again. She's dead and utterly irrelevant to your life.
Author PC96 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 Haha I'm not going to contact her again. But I also I'm not thinking of it in terms of "she's dead and irrelevant" on the contrary I can look back and appreciate what happened and how much I've learned from it. It's all part of my past and I don't regret it. If I ever think about her it's just a "nice memories" feeling for a moment and then I get on with the rest of my day. I accept what happened and wish her the best. NC forever is the way to go for sure. It is what's best for me. My idea of it is that heals all wounds one way or another, whether or not you suppress your emotions until you don't feel anymore(I've done that before) or accept them move on with your life. I'm happy that it's over but I'm happy that it happened. Just straight up happiness lol
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