mullins Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Hi again, not sure if this is a Coping thing or a Reconciliation topic, i think its more me just needing to put into words the waves of emotions and feelings going through me. I was thinking that as all you read here is sadness, would you get to hear of those x's that got back together and lived happily ever after? If i and all those around me believe my X made a mistake in leaving me, then what are the odds of her realising it someday and coming back? The way i see it is that once she recovers from her loss of online lover boy (previous post by me) will she find any remaining love we once had? I know she is convinced she doesnt love me and never wants to try again, but could that be the cause of her pining for him? or the loss of her dad who she never made her final peace with? She says she is sure now as to what she wants in a man after only 2 sessions with a councilor, but she had 17 pretty good years with me, and we have 2 lovely girls...are they/me not worth her effort? I am only on my second day of NC, and there are so many things i would like to say to her, but i know all will end up causing me more pain. I was wondering if the NC will give her time to heal more quickly and realise what she has lost? Some days i think she is not good enough for me, and didnt think once before hurting me and the girls, then 5 mins later i think i would do anything to have her back, today i just dream about holding her and making love to her (sorry...had to say it lol) The thought of getting through this, and one day having no feelings for her scares me, i want her to feel the love i have for her, but i need it in return now.
overseas2004 Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 I really feel bad for you and sorry that I cant offer any good news. Whenever someone stomped on my heart they never came back. But you two have two little girls and that may cause her to see the light maybe? Although I have to say I think that I would have a hard time taking someone back who cheated on me. And I think that even if she does come back... that may be hard for you as well. I know you miss her now, but you will see that if she comes back it will be hard. Good luck. And be strong for your little girls...
dgiirl Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Hey Mullins, Sorry to hear what you're going through. I too am looking for good news, but slowly I'm starting to realize anyone who could put me through that much pain for his selfish reasons, truely doesnt deserve me. I've been completely faithful and loyal and commited, and he just walked. It's really painful, and I can empathize with you. You could read a few websites on divorcing as friends and possibly saving your marriage. I've been to marriagebuilders.com and divorcebusting.com Who knows if it works, and how long it takes for it to work. But it might give you inspiration to keep trying! The main things all these websites have stressed is to work on yourself, and when there's no hope in communicating, implement NC. Good luck!
Author mullins Posted May 18, 2005 Author Posted May 18, 2005 Thanks for replies, i know i deserve a woman that loves me for who i am, and i wasn't happy in my marriage, she had her obsessive hang ups...looking for that bit that was missing in her, its these hangups she had that tried my patience too much, had she cofided in me before we split, i could have filled that gap for her. Its all just such a waste!! We were perfect in every way, except we both needed or felt we needed looking after, im sure we could have made this such a happy marriage, but her heart is set o moving on, at least till she realises that she was in love with an online fantasy. I just so long to be with her again, i have cried way too many tears over her.
RecordProducer Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Sometimes it's hard to let things go. We can't believe that our hearts will ever stop bleeding. When my ex left me for the last time our babies were only 2 years old. All I wanted was to have him back. But after a couple of years I got over him and 4 years after we split I met the love of my life. He loves my kids too. We'll hopefully get married soon and I hope we'll live happily ever after. Life goes on. Why go back to broken marriages when we can give ourselves a new chance for happiness? I would never be happy if I stayed married. My ex-husband gave me a chance to be happy again when he left me and I will always be grateful to him for that, although I was so broken-hearted at the time. Your marriage couldn't have been so happy if your wife left. It takes two to tango, but it takes only one to split. Accept the fact that she decided to not live with you anymore and move on! Soon enough you will get over her, meet someone new and be happy again. Maybe happier than you've ever been. Look forward to falling in love again; don't grieve your dead marriage! If that's you in your avatar then I would assume that you can find many dates easily.
Author mullins Posted May 18, 2005 Author Posted May 18, 2005 Thank you, that is me in my avitar, and what you said about finding your new love, and being so happy, i think thats what i wanted to hear. At this moment i dont feel i can ever love another like i did my X, everyone around me says i will find so much better. As much as i hurt and cry, i hold just a small bit of hope that i will oneday find the right woman for me. Thank you Rp
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