Try Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 my gf of 3.5 yrs got colder and colder until she left and then ended up with the other guy 2 days later. they lasted 60 days and had sex and now she wants to come back. grass wasn't greener? im plan b? harsh part is we have a young son as well. The fact that she ended up with the other guy in only 2 days means that she was cheating on you with this other guy prior to moving out. It also explains why she was getting colder and colder. You are right, you are "plan b". In her mind, you are a good backup plan until she finds someone that she thinks is better. Letting her come back now is only delaying the inevitable.
central Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 She intended to leave and NOT come back. She came back because she was dumped or realized that in this case, at least, the grass was not so green. Still, you are plan B, the safety net. She was dissatisfied with you before for some reason, and there is no reason to think that anything has changed since then. Unless you know why that was and can change it, she may well decide to seek someone "better" once again, when she can get away with it. Next time, she may be more careful and not come back at all. So, unless you fully understand her issues and motivations, there is very little chance you can have a successful reconciliation because she will do this again. 1
Chi townD Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Speaking of questions to ask her at the counsellors, does anybody have any good ones? I need questions that are going to nail her with the truth. Things she can't answer without telling the truth. Sorry dude, you're probably going to have to do your homework on that one. But, you REALLY need to do your homework and find a counselor that specializes in infidelity. Any run of the mill "Dr. Phil/ Oprah" counselor will make her cheating on you YOUR fault. That you didn't do this, that or the other that CAUSED her to cheat on you. And that's Bullsh*t. You need to find a counselor that going to call her out on her BS. And yes, she did cheat on you. You don't up and leave your life with your family and be with someone else just a mere 48 hours later without something being there to begin with. She felt comfortable enough and strong enough about this other person to walk away from you and your son. You don't do that on the fly. A split decision. Therefore, she was cheating on you. If not physically, then definitely emotionally. And if I was a betting man, I would bet it was physical in some way, shape or form before she left you. Dude, you're not getting the full story on their relationship. On the day that she left, where did she go? To stay with him? If this is the case, you don't think that it went physical on the night she arrived at his place? You think she slept on his couch? Sorry dude, but you have a lot to think about. You have a lot more questions to ask.
Shock148 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Dude no. She left and told you that she never expected to come back. Why did she leave? She was unhappy for whatever reason. She chose to leave you for another man and have sex with him. Once she got tired of him, for whatever reason, she comes back and tries to be with you again because you are her plan b option? Um no, why would you want to take her back anyway? Whose to say the next time you guys fight she won't try to find someone else to replace you? She already did it once before I am sure she will do it again. And besides, anytime she would want to go out with her girlfriends and just have a night out with them, wouldn't you be thinking in the back of your mind that she might be talking with other guys too? Once you break the trust in any relationship it is extremely hard to regain it. Sometimes you never fully regain it, but I will tell you one thing, it takes more than a couple of months for that trust to be reformed. Don't do it bro. She threw you away like yesterday's garbage to have her fun. Once she did and found out it didnt work out the way she wanted to, she went back into the trash bin to look at what she threw out hoping to just settle again (for the time being) with you.
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