How much time per day in LS is too much [when recovering from a breakup]?

[Mana15]

Hey, everyone! So, yesterday I was thinking about how, even though LoveShack is a great help to me, it can also be harmful to my recovery because sometimes I have the urge to go look deeper in the forum for BUs that I can relate to. To look for answers, explanations. I don't know if any of you feel the same way.

 

I usually come here two or three times per day (when I wake up, when I arrive from college and before I go to sleep), but I don't think I spend too much time here. Or do I? My question to you guys is: how much time on LS do you think is too much for our break-up recovery?

[Chronograph]

I've been thinking about that too and I'm a bit torn. On the one hand this community helped me so much and gave me the feeling that I'm not alone. On the other hand it has become a bit of a daily / weekly habit to come to LS, sometimes every morning, and every evening. It is maybe like a substitute for the company we miss?

 

I also worry if coming here every day makes me think about that whole break up topic more than I would if such a forum would not exist and I would be forced to read, watch, do something else.

 

So, I don't know. If you feel it is too much time you spend on here, than it's probably right for you to be on here less. If you feel the benefit is still big enough than I guess there is not such a huge problem. :-)

[dignifiedgirl]

It's been a tremendously helpful tool for me.

I don't think one needs to worry about how much time they're spending on here.

The more you heal, the less you'll need to come here.

(Although it's a good idea to help others out on the boards to pay it forward)

Good luck in your healing !

[Shock148]

Honestly, I am over my ex so I just come here to help others and partly because I wish I knew about this site when I first went through my breakup. I like this site a lot and I am sure if I knew about this forum when I first got my heart broken, I would have been in here everyday multiple times a day asking questions and hearing advice. It does not matter how many times you log on or not. The point of this forum is to have those who have been through what you are currently going through hear you out and help you. It is like a forum filled with therapists all here for you and telling you what you should and should not do because most people here and been through it all.

[ScienceGal]

Once you start to feel better, you'll visit less frequently. That's been my experience at least.

[reddragon588]

I went through a breakup a couple years ago and this site was a godsend for me. I can see what you mean- if you are on this site, you are more than likely thinking about the breakup during the visit, and you do need to spend less time thinking about the breakup eventually.

 

In all honesty, I don't think it's a problem. Come here when you need. I came here probably 4-5 times a day or more in the early part of the breakup. Eventually, I came less. Over the last year and a half or so, I've only come on every few months or so, to try to give back to the community that helped me so much, or when I need advice.

 

You will find your visits becoming less frequent naturally, and you'll naturally start to find yourself transitioning from asking for advice to giving it.

 

Keep on keeping on folks!

[Nep2112]

I also wish I had found LS when my bu occurred 2 years ago. I would have had a support system to help me enforce NC!! I instead was stuck in my own head and sent out a few (now) embarassing emails/ texts that I wish I could have back now! I also would not have had 2 dif "closure" meet ups that basically put me back to square one!!

[Blanco]

It's been beneficial to me, but there is a fine line where it goes from being helpful to perhaps keeping you stuck in your despair.

 

I still find it helpful now, though, as reading stories helps me gauge just how far I've come. A few months ago, these stories would've made me feel like others were experiencing the same emotions I was at the time. Now, the stories are usually reminders of what I WAS feeling at one time.

 

Sometimes you need to hear the stories of others to recognize the progress you've made in your own healing journey.

[Liono84]

Aghh, I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks too. It's a very delicate topic. I still come here routinely but I have consciously decided I will significantly cut it down very soon and my goal is to stop. I think this place is therapeutic beyond words when you're initially going through a breakup and in the immediate aftermath it helps in so many ways. The members here are very wise and I owe a lot to every person who has contributed in helping me as well as others. That's also why I try to chime in and respond when others have a question too. However, there comes a point where it can be self-detrimental to your healing. There's no exact timetable, but if you are thinking that you may be spending too much time, then you probably are. I think for me, it's still a fight, but I do think I'm reminding myself of the breakup every time I come here. When you're fully healed and let go, I don't think you would even care to post topics or regularly visit.