I want to write a letter to my ex who never talked to me about the break up?

[Leaa]

Ok, i'll try and make a long story short!

I dated a guy for 2 years, was incredibly in love with him. For about a month we were arguing about stupid things, it just felt like he stopped trying.

We started to pick his friends over me, and would get mad if i was upset. He went away with his friends and while was away he barely answered my texts, i got mad and said mean things as a result. Over text, he broke up with me. I figured he would come home and we would talk about things and everything would be good. But for almost 2 weeks he wanted nothing to do with me. Then, we finally started to see each other again. Slowly but surely, he started to act like my boyfriend again. About 1 and a half months after our breakup, he would take me on dates and kiss me in front of his friends and tell me he loved me, etc. Things were getting better and going great. He just wouldn't commit again, he said I wouldn't change and I would always start fights. Then, one day after we went on a date, I woke up and texted him and he never answered. I texted him the next day and he said "i don't think we should talk anymore." I said ok, can I see you later? he said, "no i don't think we should hangout anymore either." He would barely explain himself, all he said was "you're mean to me and i don't want a relationship." But I honestly don't know what I did this time. He got mad that I kept asking why and ended unblocking my number. The next day i was blocked on twitter, Facebook, instagram, snapchat. I had no way of contacting him and I knew his pride was too strong to contact me. About a week after that I saw him at a bar with his friends, he acted like NOTHING happened. That entire week without him I was torn to shreds and when he saw me in person he hugged me and didn't even mention what he did. When I asked if he felt bad he said "no, you went crazy." He left the bar after about 5 minutes and I never had the chance to say everything that i wanted. Now, it's been 2 weeks since i've been blocked. I'm more frustrated and angry than sad.

I was thinking about just writing him a letter, I just feel like I need closure. And since he won't talk to me or see me it's the only thing for me to do. Will he think this is crazy?

Also, what do I write? I don't want the letter to be angry, I don't want him not read it. I just feel like after 2 years with me and then to cut me off completely is super immature and hurtful.

[d0nnivain]

I was thinking about just writing him a letter, I just feel like I need closure. And since he won't talk to me or see me it's the only thing for me to do. Will he think this is crazy?

 

Yes he will think you are crazy if he gets such a letter. However you need to get your feelings out -- the anger, the frustration, the hurt, all of it. Write away. Let it all out. Then print it & set it on fire in a controlled place but do not ever send it to him.

[ScienceGal]

I did this once, and sent it. Yes, it did make him think I was crazy, and at the time I was because I was overcome with grief and other emotions. The loss and confusion got the best of me. In retrospect, I am very glad to not be in that relationship anymore.

 

Write the letter, but do not send it. DO NOT send it. Post it on here if it helps.

[FancyFace]

Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, send that letter.

 

By all means write away, write long pages with all your feelings and emotions but do not under any circumstances whatsoever, send it. Your sense of dignity and self worth will thank you later.

[Leaa]

it's probably better not to send the letter, you're all right.

But I just feel like there's SO many things I want to talk to him about. Will he ever mature and reach out? I don't know how he could do this to me.

[d0nnivain]

No. He will never mature & reach out. Sorry.

[David87]

Worst ideea ever. Dont do it. Or write the letter to get your frustration out then burn it.....but never send it to your ex.

[ScienceGal]

it's probably better not to send the letter, you're all right.

But I just feel like there's SO many things I want to talk to him about. Will he ever mature and reach out? I don't know how he could do this to me.

 

Any interaction with him will only slow your healing and progress moving forward. In time, you will realize that you don't need answers from him (I know that doesn't sound possible right now, but it's true). One day you will have moved on and will feel indifferent.

 

Contact with him cannot help you in any way, shape, or form. Don't allow yourself to think it can.

[Shock148]

As everyone said sending a letter is a big no no. Why? Well with the way your story was presented lets say he reads the letter. He might either read the first sentence and shake his head or read the whole thing and shake his head. Then the next thing he will do is not contact you at all and most likely tell his good friends what a psycho you are and possibly even show you the letter you wrote to him to his friends. Either that or he will just crumble up the letter and throw it away. Then the next thing you know you will be acting up again wondering if he received the letter, did he read it, why didn't he respond, etc. It's just a no no. Save yourself the time and trouble and write out all your feelings but don't send it.

[kevin smithy]

its ok to write it.. express your feelings but dont send it. it wont do you any good. sending it wont do any good.

[mightycpa]

He won't really give a ****. Why bother?

[Zapbasket]

This is a prime instance of where your dignity must override all your other emotions. (I know it's hard not to act on the hurt, shock, anger, confusion, and love crashing around inside you. BTDT.)

 

Stop and ask yourself if you think the way he treated you is a way to behave with someone with whom you shared affections for two whole years. No, right? It is a TERRIBLE way to treat someone and I don't care what he thinks you "did" or you think you "did"--you, anyone, deserves better than that. Take your heart from his inept hands and give him your silence and absence that he so desperately wants. Not for him, but for you.

 

I know from painful personal experience how hard it is to squash the desire to solicit a rational conversation with someone you care about. But such a thing requires two people, and he has shown himself to be incapable of such a thing. He is NOT a good boyfriend and not worth another second of your time or care. I promise you that.

 

Find new places to hang out so you don't have to see him, or his friends. Don't subject yourself to any more unnecessary hurt.

 

I'm really sorry; I know well how terribly this hurts.