Jadey Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 It looks like im slowly getting onto speakign turns with the ex (i dont want NC for now) And i want to text him soemthing. I dont want it to be a text where hes like "god she wants me bad" but i want it to be a "hmm" kinda thing. Where he thinks im getting on with my life but am still interested in him and leave him thinking about me. But i dont want to sound needy or anything. Any suggestions wot to say? As were begginin to talk again i want to take advantage
NTB Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 i know how you feel you wanna talk to him but breaking NC is not a good thing i know it is hard keeping up with NC but TRUST me in the long run it will be a good thing and really if you want him to miss you and think you have moved on i think NC will be the way to go
Author Jadey Posted May 18, 2005 Author Posted May 18, 2005 I ahvent been doing NC, i ahve to see him everyday. And i dont want him to think im moving on. I want him to know im missing him.
outdated Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey It looks like im slowly getting onto speakign turns with the ex (i dont want NC for now) And i want to text him soemthing. I dont want it to be a text where hes like "god she wants me bad" but i want it to be a "hmm" kinda thing. Where he thinks im getting on with my life but am still interested in him and leave him thinking about me. But i dont want to sound needy or anything. Any suggestions wot to say? As were begginin to talk again i want to take advantage Jadey Sweetheart. Trust me. This will NOT do you any good. Even if it's just a text message he'll smell the desperation. No one wants NC now or ever. It's natural not to after this person has left our lives. But it is NECESSARY or you will always feel LIKE YOU DO NOW. Do you want that? I sure as hell don't- for me or you.
NTB Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 well i find that when i want some one to know something i tell them if you miss him then tell him of course this is just me others might disagree with what i have just said
Author Jadey Posted May 18, 2005 Author Posted May 18, 2005 I want to die..lol. Grr if it seem like im just being friendly isnt thta ok? If i mention im going to a party?
outdated Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey I want to die..lol. Grr if it seem like im just being friendly isnt thta ok? If i mention im going to a party? There's obviously nothing we can say that will change your mind Jadey. If you NEED to send something, then you need to send something. But from the experiences I've had in the last couple months, communication was the worst thing to do. Now that I've cut that off, I'm seeing results- with myself and her. There's lots of people out there Jadey, go meet some of them while he gets his sh*t together. If you don't, you're gonna miss a lot of people that love you now, not before.
Angeleyez2583 Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Jadey, you and I have a lot in common with our breakups. Anyway, let him try and contact you. If he really loves you, he's gonna realize this and call you and tell you. Anyway, I am seeing the ex tomorrow because he is bringing me the graduation present his parents got me for graduation. (Sweet I know). He was going to do it today but forget and left me this message sounding really sorry about it. I called him an hour later and showed myself to him in the best light possible. He even said he wanted to stop by my place but he had to pick his dad up from his job. So who knows. NEVER BEG SOMEONE BACK. You have to show this guy you can HAPPILY live your life without him. That usually freaks exes out. Haha. My ex told me also today that I have positivly changed. A maintance guy was at my place today, and I was very nice to him. My ex was all like wow aren't you sweet? lol. (so he said what a great person i was twice over the phone). And he's not seeing that girl by the way. However, I refuse to get my hopes up about this whole situation. But in your case. PUT ON UR BEST SMILE when ur around him. Show him what he's missing and that you don't need him in your life. They notice the change trust me.
Author Jadey Posted May 18, 2005 Author Posted May 18, 2005 Well..were kinda talking I gave in, i couldnt help it! It feels really good tho..
Author Jadey Posted May 18, 2005 Author Posted May 18, 2005 Originally posted by Angeleyez2583 Jadey, you and I have a lot in common with our breakups. Anyway, let him try and contact you. If he really loves you, he's gonna realize this and call you and tell you. Anyway, I am seeing the ex tomorrow because he is bringing me the graduation present his parents got me for graduation. (Sweet I know). He was going to do it today but forget and left me this message sounding really sorry about it. I called him an hour later and showed myself to him in the best light possible. He even said he wanted to stop by my place but he had to pick his dad up from his job. So who knows. NEVER BEG SOMEONE BACK. You have to show this guy you can HAPPILY live your life without him. That usually freaks exes out. Haha. My ex told me also today that I have positivly changed. A maintance guy was at my place today, and I was very nice to him. My ex was all like wow aren't you sweet? lol. (so he said what a great person i was twice over the phone). And he's not seeing that girl by the way. However, I refuse to get my hopes up about this whole situation. But in your case. PUT ON UR BEST SMILE when ur around him. Show him what he's missing and that you don't need him in your life. They notice the change trust me. OOhh it seems like you might be getting somewhere with your ex Good luck hun. Yeah thats wot i intnd to do. Im gonna smile, be nice to him, try to talk to him and let him know i do like him but without actually saying it and beggin or being too pushy. I finally know wot im gonna be like around him to make him realise wot hes missing. I got plans lol. So when i textd him he said he wos about to text me asking if he can come to my brothers memorial next month cos they were good frienfs so i just said "its not really up to me who comes, but you were friends with him so its your call" andits been almost an hour and he hasnt text back now. lol. Oh well atlest he text atall. But do you know wot? I really think that guys love all these mind games Do you??
Angeleyez2583 Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Of course they love the mind games. But you can't play into them. And that was a great response to ur ex's text. I wouldn't text him back at this point. However, the point is we can't let the ex's know we miss them.
Author Jadey Posted May 18, 2005 Author Posted May 18, 2005 Cant we tho? Would it be so bad if we actually really do miss them? I dont know. But im not letting him know at this point, just being friendly. And no i ahvent text him back, dont want to push him too far. Its just odd that he wos going to text me but then when i text back he doesnt text back again...GR confusion! Ah well. I have two lessons with him tomorrow Thursdays is the day where i see him the most..
RecordProducer Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 The good things about NC are: 1. You avoid making a fool out of yourself, 2. You make him miss you more. If he broke off the relationship and not because he was mad at you or anything, but rather because he didn't like the relationship or you then I don't see why you should text him. If you really want to make him say "hmmm" you should tel him that you're seeing someone else and that things are going amazingly well. If it's too soon then wait at least a few weeks. Only in that case, he might be interested to not let you go. As long as you're single and text him, he knows he can have you any tim he wants.
ErinErinErin Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 LOL...I am going through the same situation...I want to text him as well cause it seems like when we don't talk he is always coming back and wondering what is up...but when we get close, he gets scared and runs away... NC may let them think that you don't care? Or am I totally wrong here?
RecordProducer Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Yes, NC makes them wonder what's going on and whether you care or enjoy your life without them. I was doing NC with my ex-BF. He would email me here and there to tell me that he still loves me (I never replied his emails), but as he admitted later, he didn't really grieve our relationship. I broke up with him, but it was his fault (he was uncomfortable with me having children). In month 5 of NC we exchanged a few emails (I did reply to see how he feels for me) and he seemed not so determined that he wanted to be with me forever, but rather like persuade me that I should date him and give him time to get used to the kids. So basically, he was still at his original point and didn't want to bend over. One day, he emails me to wish my kids a happy B/day and asks me if we can email each other sometimes. I email him back "thank you," that's all. He emails me again asking me the same question and then I tell him that I am in love with someone else. He starts chasing after me and begging me to give him another chance. Says he never stopped loving me and just wanted to give me some time to figure out that we could succeed if I give him time to get used to my kids. He suffers, he cries, he doesn't want to let me go, he wants me back desperately, he wants my children too, etc. But it was too late. I was really in love with someone and out of love with the ex-BF. Besides, I don't buy empty promises anyway. Men want challenge. It's always beter to be crueler than you think you should be if you want them on their knees. But if you just text him and say you're with someone else, it makes no sense. It should be him who should look for you. And when he does, don't act like you couldn't wait for him to contact you.
ErinErinErin Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 [color=red]Men want challenge. It's always beter to be crueler than you think you should be if you want them on their knees. But if you just text him and say you're with someone else, it makes no sense. It should be him who should look for you. And when he does, don't act like you couldn't wait for him to contact you.[/color] That is some good advice- he totally broke me and destroyed me and here I am begging for him back! And it sounds like Jadey is feeling the same! We aren't putting up much of a challenge are we... That is totally true about letting him wonder what we are up to...When he said NC cause it was too hard, I obeyed and then he came sniffing around again... We have to let these boys have time to miss us...if we keep talking to and crying over them, then they will get the impression they can have us whenever they want to...not much of a challenge there! So NC for now...let him see if he misses me...and you too Jadey!!!
Angeleyez2583 Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 Jadey and erin... you guys need to stay strong.,.. we're all in the same boat here with our exes.. Just act HAPPY around them... like you don't need them.. they're either gonna miss you or not.. I mean.. once you start acting like you don't need them and gettin on with your life.. they may come back and they may not.. if not.. darn.... u've already begun healing.. moving on.. if u convince urself ur happy without them.. ur gonna start believing it 100 percent... if they don't come back.. then ohwell us women have to stick together... if he doesn't realize he misses you, it wasn't meant to be.. but if he does.. and u've begun this healing process.. it's your choice if you want him back in ur life.. it's ur choice and not his.. which means YOU have the control over the situation.. but what i am saying is be happy and act like he doesn't matter my ex has noticed this I'm happy without him i've changed for the better his loss
queenie01 Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 I agree with the last post...as hard as it may be... Trust me im dying over here..my ex broke up with me for no reason, we were so happy, talked about the future etc. Tommorrow will be 3 weeks that we have been broken up and today marks 13 days of NC...it sucks because i have to see him at work from time to time and when i do see him he doesnt say hi or anything... makes me questions whether or not i even want to be with someone like that... Dont get me wrong I love him with all my heart and miss him so much but who is he to treat me this way when he was the one who broke up with me yet told me i was the best gf hes ever had and this wasnt an easy decision for him. He says time apart will let us both know if we were right for each other. Im questioning whether or not i should contact him next week to get my stuff from his house?? suggestions?? 2 weeks ago he sent me a text saying "i have an idea to keep my stuff and we can get together in a couple weeks to talk and see how we feel" well he hasnt contacted me so i dont know if he thinks i should be contacting him since its my stuff???
Author Jadey Posted May 19, 2005 Author Posted May 19, 2005 So you guys really think that wot it all boils down to is they want a challenge?? Abit sad of them really. My ex wos almost crying today at lunch..i dunno why. He looks soo unhappy lately. Shouldnt he be happy if he dumpped me and now has a new girl? If she wos so bloomin great wouldnt he be over thre moon? lol. I wonder why hes so sad? My friend thinks its cos he feels bad about me. you should tel him that you're seeing someone else and that things are going amazingly well. OOhh now Thats an idea!! lol. Good one.. Queenie, i think you should leave it about..2 weeks. Then if he hasnt text you about your stuff just give him a quick text saying something along the lines off "hey, i just want to make a date to come and collect my stuff. is ... ok?" Or something like that. But dont od it yet i say..
queenie01 Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 well its been 2 weeks since his text suggesting this idea...i dont get men! If he had this brainy idea then why isnt he contacting me?? I think i am going to text him on monday telling him i need my stuff back. Im starting to feel like if he really missed me or wanted to talk to me i would have heard from him in some form whether it be email, text or phone but i got nothing and then when i see him he doesnt even say hello. i only want the best for him and for him to be happy so if hes happy then so be it!
Author Jadey Posted May 19, 2005 Author Posted May 19, 2005 Im sorry hun. I dont get men either, they are a full mystery to me! Maybe hes playing hard to get, or maybe (sorry) he really has moved on in his life But i think texting him something brief about your stuff is a good idea. Then after that maybe full NC? I have a question now..My ex just text me saying "hey, i feel like **** im bored.. so..do you have your eye on anyone" I mean wtf? How random. Is this a good time to say im with someone now? Or will it push him away completley? Will he like the challenge? Suggestions? lol
queenie01 Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 i sort of think mine is playing games with me...waiting for me to contact him but seriously he is the one who broke up with me..why should i chase him? Then i even thought maybe he thinks i hate him because of how bad hes hurt me. Bottom line tho is that if he wanted to get back together with me or had anything to say i think he would email me or text me and he hasnt which makes me feel like crap. As for your random text..i probably wouldnt lie to him because if you do get back together that would look bad but i also probably wouldnt respond right away and when you do respond i would be very vague...
bad_kitty_emmy Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 ive been reading through the problems and mine is totally the same. My ex ditched me for another girlbut came running back when i emailed him telling him how much he had hurt me. I got back with him but then i dumped him. Now i want him back. Hes not having any of it. Ive text him so many times and im afraid i think ive pushed him away. Ive never felt this way about anyone. Ive told him how i felt to his face and he told me he didnt care about me anymore. Icried all that night. I saw him in town today with his little sister and mum and i was with my mate. We just stared for ages whillst walking. I want him back i dont know what to do. Can you help me. My friends have tried. But nothing? I dont even get a reply off him?! Help me please as its brekaing my heart. Ive tried to forget about him but something drags me back. He even tried getting with my best mate to make me jelous and i borke mates with my friend. We are now ok but im scared of losing him. What can i do? Please reply!
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