Guyouthere Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I have to ask….. Everyone here is so eager to tell someone else to get out of their relationship. Is anyone happy here? ;p 1
Woggle Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I am very happy in my relationship and that is why I advise those in bad ones to get out. I know how great love can be so why be with somebody who treats you like garbage. 6
jam.over.jelly Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 it's the outsiders that can see it most clearly. 5
Gaeta Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 Single 11 years. I can truly say I am happy with my life. I have everything and more a woman could desire. Loving family, devoted friends, amazing kid, love my job, own my home, I'm healthy, and every day I get up I risk meeting the next man of my life. I much prefer getting up each morning thinking I am one day closer to being with a loving man than getting up thinking what pain is awaiting me today. I tell people to get out of their miserable relationship because I have myself stayed years in a bad marriage and I regret it. Being with someone is suppose to enhance your life, it's suppose to be smooth and easy, it's not suppose to bring you pain and worries. 5
scooby-philly Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I'm happy. I left a dead-end relationship 3-4 months ago and during it and even before it I was a regular commentator here. (I like writing, I always comment only on what I can offer insight into or advice from my own experience, which I always make distinct from genuine un-opinionated suggestions. Yes - people here can be jaded, a bit too quick to doll out advice, and jump to offer solutions without having enough information or detachment/judgement to be fair. However, there are people like me who always try to just listen and to only be as neutral as humanly possible to keep the crazies in check. 1
Gaeta Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I have to ask….. Everyone here is so eager to tell someone else to get out of their relationship. Is anyone happy here? ;p I have a feeling you're posting this because you regret the young woman. No one will bring you happiness, you have to cultivate it yourself, then when you've reached a happy state you can offer happiness to someone else. We did not tell you to let her go because we're a bunch of unhappies. 6
menyou Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 Happiness is a choice. You could have what you perceive to be the most perfect relationship and still choose to be unhappy. I'm in a relationship. It's not perfect. I don't expect perfect. But I am happy when I am with him. OR without him. If I don't hear from him I could cry in my soup but for what? It all comes down to me. And therefor, you. I believe you learn things from whomever you choose as your partner. After my divorce I had to figure out how to love myself more. My BF is allowing me to continue to do so. Even if he doesn't realize it. 1
neowulf Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I have to ask….. Everyone here is so eager to tell someone else to get out of their relationship. Is anyone happy here? ;p The whole point of this site is to seek support, advice and guidance with relationships. People generally don't seek those things when life is cruising along well and they're happy. So.. I'm not really surprised the vast majority of the traffic on this site involves pain and hardship. 7
neowulf Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 explain... Perspective. Bringing a fresh set of detached eyes to a persons situation. Offering a way of thinking about a problem in a way the original poster may not have considered. 2
MovingOnIsHard Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 After all the hurt and emotional trauma ive endures during my previous relationship with my ex, Ive never been happier in my life... Now that ive let go of the past, healed the wounds, and allowed myself to take control of my life.. I found the most genuine love yet, in a man im currently dating. Every bad encounters ive had in the past has given me clarity and wisdom, and I thank God for them. 2
Jules Dash Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I have to ask….. Everyone here is so eager to tell someone else to get out of their relationship. Is anyone happy here? ;p Now this is an excellent topic. There is a lot of helpful wisdom around here but there Is a lot more negativity and misery as well and misery loves company. Folks are too quick to tell someone to drop their man or their woman and that is a problem. We should learn how to stay together when possible, compromise and be problem solvers. The answer isn't always to dump the person you love. 3
Popsicle Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 (edited) Some people are happier being in a relationship, even if it's a shvtty one. Some people are happier being alone or holding out for someone good, than being in a shvtty relationship. YMMV. We have our share of both on this forum. Edited September 30, 2015 by Popsicle 3
MovingOnIsHard Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 Now this is an excellent topic. There is a lot of helpful wisdom around here but there Is a lot more negativity and misery as well and misery loves company. Folks are too quick to tell someone to drop their man or their woman and that is a problem. We should learn how to stay together when possible, compromise and be problem solvers. The answer isn't always to dump the person you love. I absolutely agree that two people in a relationship must do their best to keep the relationship alive. It is 50/50 effort. But if one person is carrying most of the weight, then the relationship is becomes imbalanced and unstable... The relationship is bound to die. There comes a time when "fixing" the relationship is futile and the best course of action is simply to let it die in peace. It is unhealthy to remain in a toxic/unhappy relationship. A lot of people that post in this forum are in toxic/unhappy relationships. Hence, the same advice they are given. 3
neowulf Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 Well, I think it's a little about personal expectation. I don't expect to come on LoveShack and get professional grade, psychological counselling services. What I do expect is to share stories and experiences with people. Some I disagree with, others I resonate with. In ether case, I find great value and comfort at being able to feel not so... alone, in the journey. 3
Author Guyouthere Posted September 30, 2015 Author Posted September 30, 2015 Now this is an excellent topic. There is a lot of helpful wisdom around here but there Is a lot more negativity and misery as well and misery loves company. Folks are too quick to tell someone to drop their man or their woman and that is a problem. We should learn how to stay together when possible, compromise and be problem solvers. The answer isn't always to dump the person you love. This is very well said. I wonder why the rest of you can't follow this. 1
neowulf Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 This is very well said. I wonder why the rest of you can't follow this. Because it doesn't always apply? Not to mention, people come here for advice. There's nothing to say they're obligated to follow it. We're each responsible for our own choices. 1
Author Guyouthere Posted September 30, 2015 Author Posted September 30, 2015 Because it doesn't always apply? Not to mention, people come here for advice. There's nothing to say they're obligated to follow it. We're each responsible for our own choices. Yes, true. I do see a lot of "get out" rather than "take some time to work on the issue". In some cases, it is good to get out right away,,, they are obvious. But overall, it is easy for many to "just give up", and I find that rather sad. 1
neowulf Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 Yes, true. I do see a lot of "get out" rather than "take some time to work on the issue". In some cases, it is good to get out right away,,, they are obvious. But overall, it is easy for many to "just give up", and I find that rather sad. I prefer a slightly different expression. Some call it giving up, I call it "Letting go". Some people cling to situations, relationships and people for dear life, well past the point that it makes sense. Deep down they *know* they're not going to be able to find a resolution, but they continue to hurt each other. The world is a huge place. There's 12 billion people. If people were more gracious in letting go, there'd be a hell of a lot less suffering. It's the clinging to things, the holding on, in spite of everything, that often leads to the most pain. 2
Author Guyouthere Posted September 30, 2015 Author Posted September 30, 2015 We live in a throw away society and unfortunately many people also do that with others as well. 1
neowulf Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 We live in a throw away society and unfortunately many people also do that with others as well. Throwing away puts the power in the other persons hands. You can't be "thrown away" if you choose to acknowledge the situation as it is. If someone doesn't want a relationship with you anymore, then that's their decision. No one owes you a relationship. No one obligated to stay with you, no more than you are obligated to stay with them. Relationships are moment to moment choices. Some will last a lifetime, some won't. Despite our best efforts, *all* relationships eventually end, whether we want them to or not. I know the grief of endings. Of losing people I cared deeply for. Yet in the end, it's simply life. Isn't it better to leave a relationship of misery, than remained chained to one? 3
Photofinish Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I'm very very happy with my relationship. It's the best thing ever . Life sucks though. Trying hard to move ahead but it's not easy living in an abusive household , trying your hardest to move out but you just cannot because you dont have the job. 1
todreaminblue Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 guyoutthere with advice on here and anywhere.....you know you only have to take away what you find useful.....deb 2
Toodaloo Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 When I came here I was deeply unhappy and confused. I was a mess. I knew it, I knew I had to do something but what? People here helped. Now I am happy. Or more to the point, content. Perhaps things could be better but I can now look at life objectively not with rose tinted glasses. 5
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