Guitaristangel Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 My ex broke it off since July 5. To get the history of it, click on the link. BE WARNED IT IS A LONG POST! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/549655-bad-breakup Up until now, my ex and I have no contact for 2 months. I did have NC with her before but saw her at a mutual friends party on August 21. So technically I have 3 months of NC. As of now, I want to talk to her, see her and love her but how do I go about this? I want her to talk to me but I want to reach out to her. She said before to my friend that she doesn't want to date me again and that her feelings for me "went cold" back in July and in September she told him that she "never felt more happy and free before". I'm her first boyfriend in everything we've done, (kiss, sex...etc). What should I do until then? I am changing alot from this and hope to get her back someday. I know it seems hopeless but I am working myself. We were on and off before. But the last breakup we were together for 2 years. We were together a total of 4 years. When she was gone, I'm still a boy and trying to turn into a man finally realizing what I've had with her was real(and it took me THIS LONG to face my feelings head on that I constantly avoided). Advice?
Shock148 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Sounds to me like its over pal. Once a woman goes from loving you to hating you, it takes years for her to stop hating you. Her comment of being so happy and free from not being with you tells you everything you need to know. You can contact her sure, but don't expect her to want to be with you. It's best you don't contact her because you will not like hearing what she has to say and you are clearly not over her, but she is definitely over you. If you want to contact her to say that you have changed and that you are sorry then go ahead, but expect a "that's great im happy for you but I dont want to be with you because at best I view you as a friend."
Author Guitaristangel Posted September 30, 2015 Author Posted September 30, 2015 What makes you say that?
Shock148 Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 What makes you say that? I actually read the entire story you posted. No woman says "I am happy and free from not being with you anymore" and don't mean it. The reaction of the dumper says a lot of how they are feeling and by reading my reaction is that it's over. Besides she tells your friend her feelings towards you went cold. If she wanted to be with you because her feelings got hot again she would have done it by now, or at least told your friend about it. There is really nothing I have read that gave me any indication that you have a chance to be with her again.
ScienceGal Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I've had the "went cold" feeling, and I'm sorry to say that's likely the end. When my feelings are gone for someone, they're gone for good. You need to work on moving forward. 1
ScienceGal Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 If, against all odds (cue Phil Collins ), she ever comes around, deal with it then. For now though, you need to let go.
Shock148 Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 If, against all odds (cue Phil Collins ), she ever comes around, deal with it then. For now though, you need to let go. Agreed 100%. The went cold for you feelings is the nail in the coffin and the fact that she said it to your friends who she knew would tell you tells you everything that you need to know. You need to avoid contacting her again because nothing good will come out of it. Either she will tell you she does not want to be with you or will tell you that she is dating/has a new boyfriend and is happy.
Blanco Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 When she was gone, I'm still a boy and trying to turn into a man finally realizing what I've had with her was real(and it took me THIS LONG to face my feelings head on that I constantly avoided). Advice? My advice is that if the above is true, then someone besides you is going to eventually benefit from these positive changes. It just won't be your ex.
Author Guitaristangel Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 If, against all odds (cue Phil Collins ), she ever comes around, deal with it then. For now though, you need to let go. That actually made me laugh haha. Honestly though, you are right. I had to finally let go because I am in school now because of her. She was getting into debt...and I mean DEBT(school loans, ran up a credit card, store cards etc) that I continually paid off a few times. I told her to hang on that in a year or so that after I graduate I will make enough money for the both of us. Now she works 70 hours a week for money. everything with her is money money money. I do miss her. Honestly I do and I got rid of a lot of stuff for her too (her moving in my parents house for 8 months). The more I think about it, the more obvious the question is: I do want her back but this is the time to grow apart and move on. In 2017(ish) I'll be a physical therapist, my dream job. She works at a nail salon(which she hates doing). So for now, I do need to move on and work on myself. I believe that success can only come from this and motivates me even more to become my greatest self. money isn't the source of happiness but I do need it to make other people happy. I work at a hospital but only one day a week So in the mean time, any other kind of advice on moving on?
Author Guitaristangel Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 My advice is that if the above is true, then someone besides you is going to eventually benefit from these positive changes. It just won't be your ex. You peaked my curiosity. May you elaborate more?
dumbass2 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 You peaked my curiosity. May you elaborate more? He's talking about the next woman the you fall in love with and that falls in love with you. Let this other one go. She has let you know how she feels and she is gone. If she ever comes back, which the majority of times is not the case, it will be too late. You will have moved on with your life and found someone that loves you for you. You had great times with your ex and go with my favorite saying " it is what it is" or in our case " it was what it was". No reason to feel down about. You had some good times. Take it for what it was and don't look back. Better times ahead! 2
Author Guitaristangel Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) My friend got together with another girl but my EX is changing her looks and now is starting to delete the photos of us. Now at this point I am not caring as much as I used too. She texted my mother saying that she has somethings to give to me this past Wednesday but never bothered to show up. I think she is starting to date someone but I feel like that I still have feelings for her since I do not want to date. I was seeing this other girl and she rocks my world but last night she is flaky because she is into this other guy. But that didn't hurt me as much when I found out I still love my ex. I am starting to move on now and NC has been doing wonders for me. I just need some advice on how to move on but a huge part of me wants to rekindle the connection with my ex in the near future. But as of now, I just want to move on and need some advice on how too. I do not want to date anyone because I personally think I'm not ready yet. Any suggestions? And on an update on her: My friends told me that she is working alot and she doesn't really know what she wants to do in her life and blah blah blah....when I told him she wasn't my problem anymore. I worry about her but she needs space and it seems like she is gonna date soon. She was the kind of girl that was innocent and now she puts on make up everyday, dyes her hair and just transforming herself physically which I think is outstanding. But I am transforming myself and becoming my true self. I do somehow want some kind of revenge on her but I shouldn't because I'm starting to become more indifferent towards her everyday. Better times ahead! Edited October 16, 2015 by Guitaristangel Forgot to add more stuff.
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