Nikki Sahagin Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 My final post in a row, I swear. I've found, in my subjective experience, that men are typically drawn to a 'lady in the streets, freak in the sheets' type of women whereas women are typically drawn to a 'freak in the street, gentleman between' the streets type of man.
autumnnight Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 What exactly does this mean? I see sex as something that is shared between partners, not some reward that must be earned through work. What conclusion are you drawing on my view of women by that? My post was not directed at you. I spent a lot of time in a sexless marriage where I tried to jump through hoops and earn intimacy. Trust me, I am VERY against the whole earning it idea. BUT, there are men out there who think if they complete X, Y and Z tasks, it should be like a math problem and she owes him sex. And if she doesn't, she is "a tease" "frigid" any other assortment of names. That was what I was addressing. That is the problem with those guys who think a flesh and blood woman will react like the female warrior on WoW or a physics formula. Then they get mad and victimy when a woman dares not to want them. 1
lino Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 It's not rocket science. They all go for men who are notorious for sleeping around but are then surprised that man wants to continue sleeping around after he's slept with them. Ditto for women who chase after knowingly violent men but then are shocked when he beats them. 2
lino Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 My final post in a row, I swear. I've found, in my subjective experience, that men are typically drawn to a 'lady in the streets, freak in the sheets' type of women whereas women are typically drawn to a 'freak in the street, gentleman between' the streets type of man. Women are drawn to what other women are drawn to, the specifics of what that is isn't really so relevant.
Eighty_nine Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Great job taking the post out of context. I'll quote again, her words:Men must work for affection in order to earn sexual intimacy. This is turning sex into commodity that is given as a reward for work done. My thoughts on sex are pretty simple: I want to have sex. She wants to have sex. We have sex. If either of us doesn't want to have sex, we don't have sex.What exactly does this mean? I see sex as something that is shared between partners, not some reward that must be earned through work. What conclusion are you drawing on my view of women by that? Uh, no. You totally don't get it. It doesn't have anything to do with being a commodity. You get to know someone. You figure out if they're on the same page as you. You trust them. Sex is wayyyyyy more fun with someone you know and are less inhibited with. Spin my words any way you like. But a woman looking for a relationship SHOULD spend enough time with a man to know what he wants, OR it is very likely she'll get hurt. men who I don't have sex with right away or without some sort of commitment have always treated me better. Not usually, not most of the time. ALWAYS. every time. 3
Shining One Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Uh, no. You totally don't get it. It doesn't have anything to do with being a commodity. You get to know someone. You figure out if they're on the same page as you. You trust them. Sex is wayyyyyy more fun with someone you know and are less inhibited with. Spin my words any way you like. But a woman looking for a relationship SHOULD spend enough time with a man to know what he wants, OR it is very likely she'll get hurt.This is very different than the "work and earn" phrasing you used before. I agree that getting to know someone and ensuring you want the same thing is good advice.men who I don't have sex with right away or without some sort of commitment have always treated me better. Not usually, not most of the time. ALWAYS. every time.Everyone's experiences are different. I've had just over twenty partners and the time frame in which they had sex with me had zero bearing on how I treated them. I've had lengthy relationships start with sex on the first night and I've dumped women who waited over a month.
JasmineJones Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Uh, no. You totally don't get it. It doesn't have anything to do with being a commodity. You get to know someone. You figure out if they're on the same page as you. You trust them. Sex is wayyyyyy more fun with someone you know and are less inhibited with. Spin my words any way you like. But a woman looking for a relationship SHOULD spend enough time with a man to know what he wants, OR it is very likely she'll get hurt. men who I don't have sex with right away or without some sort of commitment have always treated me better. Not usually, not most of the time. ALWAYS. every time. We've reached a point I think where it is seen as controversial or problematic to want to get to really know a man before you get naked with him and let him literally inside your body. 1
kilgore Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 We've reached a point I think where it is seen as controversial or problematic to want to get to really know a man before you get naked with him and let him literally inside your body. Fwiw when I was single I always waited 1
neowulf Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Unclear expectations and implied contracts. If a woman wants to have sex, because she simply feels like having sex, on the first date, more power to her. There are a lot of men though who will happily take a "lay", assume there's no strings attached and move on afterwards. The assumption appears to be "If he likes me enough to sleep with me, he must like me *as a person* right?" That is a faulty assumption that gets people into trouble. 2
Eighty_nine Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 This is very different than the "work and earn" phrasing you used before. I agree that getting to know someone and ensuring you want the same thing is good advice.Everyone's experiences are different. I've had just over twenty partners and the time frame in which they had sex with me had zero bearing on how I treated them. I've had lengthy relationships start with sex on the first night and I've dumped women who waited over a month. maybe. But not only I have had these experiences, almost all of my friends have too. So I treat it as fact. I've never had early sex with anyone anyway, but I have without commitment, hoping the commitment part would come later. Mistake. I still think particularly the word "earn" is relavent. Earn trust and closeness etc 1
siriusp Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Uh, no. You totally don't get it. It doesn't have anything to do with being a commodity. You get to know someone. You figure out if they're on the same page as you. You trust them. Sex is wayyyyyy more fun with someone you know and are less inhibited with. Spin my words any way you like. But a woman looking for a relationship SHOULD spend enough time with a man to know what he wants, OR it is very likely she'll get hurt. men who I don't have sex with right away or without some sort of commitment have always treated me better. Not usually, not most of the time. ALWAYS. every time. Maybe for you - but everybody is different. Many people like a one night stand because they have more fun feeling less inhibited - knowing they don't plan to see the other person again gives them the feeling of freedom.... 1
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Women are drawn to what other women are drawn to, the specifics of what that is isn't really so relevant. I can only speak for my personal experience but I have never had the same interest in men as any of my friends/other women. I don't like competition so if a man I like has lots of women fawning over him, I immediately lose interest. 1
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