Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 The number one dating issue that comes up with my female friends is this: They meet a guy they really click with. They sleep with him immediately (on the same day they met him). Then he never calls again, never responds to their texts or whatever and they are upset and want to know what they did wrong. This happens again and again. But none of my male friends or relatives has ever complained about sleeping with a woman early on and her blanking him afterwards. I don't do one night stands or sex early on at all, and my friends' experiences are not encouraging.
Redhead14 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 The number one dating issue that comes up with my female friends is this: They meet a guy they really click with. They sleep with him immediately (on the same day they met him). Then he never calls again, never responds to their texts or whatever and they are upset and want to know what they did wrong. This happens again and again. But none of my male friends or relatives has ever complained about sleeping with a woman early on and her blanking him afterwards. I don't do one night stands or sex early on at all, and my friends' experiences are not encouraging. Because a great many women are not secure in themselves, don't know how to date with their goals in mind, don't know how to communicate with their dates about dating goals and intentions and don't know how to exercise self control. And, a great number of women think that the way to "catch" a man is to sleep with him. A woman can and should be intimate with a man early on if she wants that, but she should always assume it will be a one night stand until he shows her otherwise. 13
kpl Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 The number one dating issue that comes up with my female friends is this: They meet a guy they really click with. They sleep with him immediately (on the same day they met him). Then he never calls again, never responds to their texts or whatever and they are upset and want to know what they did wrong. This happens again and again. But none of my male friends or relatives has ever complained about sleeping with a woman early on and her blanking him afterwards. I don't do one night stands or sex early on at all, and my friends' experiences are not encouraging. Women do it because maybe they like sex? This is such a non issue to me. Whether they had sex or not the guy was probably not going to call/text back anyway, they just both ended up getting something fun out of something that probably wasn't going to last anyway. I will admit that me and my friends have a much um..."freer" attitude about sex. Sex does not = equal interest (especially if you just met someone). Sex = Sex. 2
Author Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Because a great many women are not secure in themselves, don't know how to date with their goals in mind, don't know how to communicate with their dates about dating goals and intentions and don't know how to exercise self control. And, a great number of women think that the way to "catch" a man is to sleep with him. A woman can and should be intimate with a man early on if she wants that, but she should always assume it will be a one night stand until he shows her otherwise. Right. There is nothing wrong with a woman having sex as early on as she chooses. But there seems to be a real theme of women having sex early and seemingly without expectations and then later on pining for the guy!
Author Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Women do it because maybe they like sex? This is such a non issue to me. Whether they had sex or not the guy was probably not going to call/text back anyway, they just both ended up getting something fun out of something that probably wasn't going to last anyway. I will admit that me and my friends have a much um..."freer" attitude about sex. Sex does not = equal interest (especially if you just met someone). Sex = Sex. I'm not sure you understood my post. My question is why do women have one night stands or casual sex with a guy and then get upset when he doesn't ever contact them again? If you and your friends have sex with strangers and have no expectations beyond one night of fun, this question doesn't apply to you.
Redhead14 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Right. There is nothing wrong with a woman having sex as early on as she chooses. But there seems to be a real theme of women having sex early and seemingly without expectations and then later on pining for the guy! Yep, happens all the time. They are fooling themselves and "playing" the cool girl -- I can sleep with a guy and not think about him again. Same thing happens when a woman knows she is looking for a relationship, starts dating a guy who has said he just wants to be casual, but she still keeps seeing him hoping he will change his mind because she's going to be so awesome that he can't resist 4
BluEyeL Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I'm not sure you understood my post. My question is why do women have one night stands or casual sex with a guy and then get upset when he doesn't ever contact them again? If you and your friends have sex with strangers and have no expectations beyond one night of fun, this question doesn't apply to you. Because of low self esteem. They think that's the main thing they can offer a man and think they have to do that. Also, think that if a guy wants to sleep with them, it makes them somehow more attractive. 2
Author Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Yep, happens all the time. They are fooling themselves and "playing" the cool girl -- I can sleep with a guy and not think about him again. Same thing happens when a woman knows she is looking for a relationship, starts dating a guy who has said he just wants to be casual, but she still keeps seeing him hoping he will change his mind because she's going to be so awesome that he can't resist Yeah. It's just not something I'm willing to put myself through though personally.
kpl Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I'm not sure you understood my post. My question is why do women have one night stands or casual sex with a guy and then get upset when he doesn't ever contact them again? If you and your friends have sex with strangers and have no expectations beyond one night of fun, this question doesn't apply to you. I guess Im confused because I don't know many women like this...maybe b/c I'm older? This seems like one of those things women and men figure out at a young age, I haven't recognized this as a trend but since you have maybe it is for you and your circle.
Guyouthere Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 If a woman wanted to jump in bed the first day, she would be a goner, as that shows she isn't relationship material. Fact is, she likely did the same with many before me. I prefer quality. 4
kpl Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 If a woman wanted to jump in bed the first day, she would be a goner, as that shows she isn't relationship material. Fact is, she likely did the same with many before me. I prefer quality. that makes perfect sense.....
siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 that makes perfect sense..... LOL!!! And the guy she slept with - he didn't jump into bed with her??? These double standards always make my mouth drop wide open!!! I've had plenty of one night stands and didn't expect/want the guy to call again. I don't mind if they send a text saying they had a nice time or something - but that's where it ends. On the other hand - if a guy has a one night stand and then starts making plans and telling me how much he likes me and disappears - that is another story. Then I get upset. That is not cool as far as I am concerned. 7
Imported Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I like it when they go, "I don't normally do this...." yeah right lol 2
kpl Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 LOL!!! And the guy she slept with - he didn't jump into bed with her??? These double standards always make my mouth drop wide open!!! I've had plenty of one night stands and didn't expect/want the guy to call again. I don't mind if they send a text saying they had a nice time or something - but that's where it ends. On the other hand - if a guy has a one night stand and then starts making plans and telling me how much he likes me and disappears - that is another story. Then I get upset. That is not cool as far as I am concerned. I agree with this 100%. There is a difference b/n we hung out and had fun and I lied and overestimated my interest to get you in bed. All parties should take appropriate responsibility for their actions and learn that dating/sex/relationships is all about managing expectations. 1
Author Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 I guess Im confused because I don't know many women like this...maybe b/c I'm older? This seems like one of those things women and men figure out at a young age, I haven't recognized this as a trend but since you have maybe it is for you and your circle. It's a trend here on Loveshack too, surely you've seen the many threads from women who've banged some guy who's now failing to reply to their texts! 1
Author Nemetona Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 If a woman wanted to jump in bed the first day, she would be a goner, as that shows she isn't relationship material. Fact is, she likely did the same with many before me. I prefer quality. you are joking, right?
siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 If a woman wanted to jump in bed the first day, she would be a goner, as that shows she isn't relationship material. Fact is, she likely did the same with many before me. I prefer quality. Can you hear what yourself?? What is wrong with a woman having a sex life? Wao! I wonder how many women judge a man based on whether he is willing to sleep with them on the first day or not?!
GunslingerRoland Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 To me that means that they've either lost out on a guy who a) wasn't into them in the first place for anything more than sex or b) believes that they should be able to sleep with women on a first date and that is fine, but if the women does it she is a dirty slut who must be quickly discarded So I'm thinking that they are probably weeding out guys pretty effectively with this practice. 2
jen1447 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Trends seem to vary quite a lot but in my experience it's much more common now for women to do this for sexual gratification and nothing more. In fact if I had to estimate I'd say there are more next-day lost puppy guys out there now than women. 3
Imported Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Trends seem to vary quite a lot but in my experience it's much more common now for women to do this for sexual gratification and nothing more. In fact if I had to estimate I'd say there are more next-day lost puppy guys out there now than women. That's always been the case, nothing recent about it. It's just more out in the open now.
smackie9 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I'm not sure you understood my post. My question is why do women have one night stands or casual sex with a guy and then get upset when he doesn't ever contact them again? If you and your friends have sex with strangers and have no expectations beyond one night of fun, this question doesn't apply to you. Because they think that by having sex is a way to get to a man's heart or they felt if the guy was willing to have sex with them that they must be really attracted to them...NOT. I had a friend that did this all the time. I told her time and time again they just wanted a hole for their penis to go into. She could never get her head around it. 2
siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Trends seem to vary quite a lot but in my experience it's much more common now for women to do this for sexual gratification and nothing more. In fact if I had to estimate I'd say there are more next-day lost puppy guys out there now than women. I agree. I have often had quite a few experiences where the one night stand kept trying to meet up after. But I'm not interested. When the sex doesn't work for me - why would I bother with a relationship?!
jen1447 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I agree. I have often had quite a few experiences where the one night stand kept trying to meet up after. But I'm not interested. When the sex doesn't work for me - why would I bother with a relationship?! Even when the sex does work. Sometimes that all you need.
siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Even when the sex does work. Sometimes that all you need. Yes.... but for me - if the sex is fantastic - I will want to see them again and I will think about them. If I've not had sex for six months or a year - then yes. A good one night stand is perfect. That doesn't mean I want to have a relationship at all. I have often read on LS that - if a woman sleeps with you then you are her type - !!! lol.... not true. I've slept with guys that are super attractive with hot bodies but totally lacking in personality - but they are just for fun. Not for relationships. Not my type if I'm looking for a relationship. I want someone with personality and similar values for a relationship - not just a hot body. 1
jen1447 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Yes.... but for me - if the sex is fantastic - I will want to see them again and I will think about them. If I've not had sex for six months or a year - then yes. A good one night stand is perfect. That doesn't mean I want to have a relationship at all. I have often read on LS that - if a woman sleeps with you then you are her type - !!! lol.... not true. I've slept with guys that are super attractive with hot bodies but totally lacking in personality - but they are just for fun. Not for relationships. Not my type if I'm looking for a relationship. I want someone with personality and similar values for a relationship - not just a hot body. True - you can have pretty volcanic sexual compatibility with ppl who are not at all well-suited to you otherwise and who you might even 'hate' in diff circumstances.
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