She's moving away

[Lupus]

Sorry for the big wall of text! Also, english is not my native language but I'll do my best.

Hello everybody ! I'm new to this forum and i'm not sure I posted in the right section but here we go.

First of all, let me tell you that besides my family, probably no one loved me. I've never had any serious relationships and all my life I've been heartbroken.

My attitude is right, I'm a cool guy, very mature both psychically and physically (I'm 21), think about long term goals, work out, made some really good money in the past and soon I'm going to start my own business and I consider myself an attractive male. Yet I'm still sad and lonely. My heart literally hurts because of the pain I feel right now.

A few months ago I met a really beautiful and smart lady online. Since then we've been talking, playing games on PS4, etc. I found out that she's the PERFECT match for me. She literally meets every single expectation that I have for a girl and I'm not just talking about the looks. We both have the same mentality, have the same hobbies, listen to the same music, etc. We basically think the same in almost every aspect. She told me that she rarely talked to someone like me and I think very mature for my age.

Now here comes the hard part.. There are a few things that may prevent a relationship to happen between us and they are really killing me..

First of all, she's 5 years older than me. Not that I have a problem with that but I don't know, maybe she wants someone older? She lives about 350km's away from me. Again, that is not a problem. I can always go there and if things work out between us, I can move and start my business there.

Now this last thing scares the hell out of me. It's devasting to think about it but she said that she will move to another country to get the best out of her job (she's a dentist). I couldn't even ask why or when because my voice was already shaking and I could barely talk when she told me that but I still tried to hide it and act normal. A few days back I talked to her and told her that in 1 month I'll visit her town and we can meet. She agreed. I'll stay there for a few days or even 1 week so we can go out and have some fun if she has enough free time for me. I'll go there by bus. I'm not gonna take my car. If things turn out to be bad, I will be devasted and won't even be able to drive, lol.

Shall I still go visit her now that she told me she will move to another country or should I just give up? The main reason I go there is because I want, at least, to have some memories with her and tell how I feel about here since I never actually told her but I guess she figured out herself. That's what my heart wants. But what if it hurts me even more? My brain knows what this relationship is not possible.. This is like a Poker game and I'm 'All In'. Oh I forgot to mention that she gave me hints that she likes me too. Maybe I misinterpreted them but I trust my instincts and there was a vibe between us, especially because we have so many things in common. I can't believe this is happening to me. I'm sure I will never find a girl like her and trust me, I know what I'm saying. She's like the female version of me. If you read this, there is no need to reply. I just wanted to get all that frustration out of me since I have no one to talk about it. Thinking that I might be alone again this Christmas really sucks.. Thanks for reading !

Any advice is welcome

Edited September 29, 2015 by Lupus