Wales_Uk Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 I've met a new girl the other week. Pretty and seems really fun and easy to get on with. I met her on a normal night out, nothing fancy, didnt kiss just chatted and swapped numbers. Since chatting more ive found out she has a child, thats something that doesnt put me off, I like children and respect single parents for what they do. Problem is I then found out her age, shes only 20, 21 in December. My age? 33, 34 in January. Its a big gap. She doesnt mind the age gap, she dismissed it as not a problem but im not sure if its a great idea for me to get involved. She would like to go out on an official date this week, get to know each other properly. So far ive used an excuse to say no and think this over. Any advice here would be great. Thank you.
PaperCrane Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Really young girl? Check. Has a child already? Check. Older male with more stability and money? Check. I'd tread carefully. 3
EricaH329 Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 In my experience, two people with such a wide age gap don't usually have much in common. However, since you met her and chatted with her without knowing her age, makes me think that the two of you get along well. So far, at least. My advice to you: If you don't have any other qualms about dating her, other than her age, i'd give it a shot. 1
Author Wales_Uk Posted September 28, 2015 Author Posted September 28, 2015 Really young girl? Check. Has a child already? Check. Older male with more stability and money? Check. I'd tread carefully. Crossed my mind too, then I found out shes a lot more well off than I ever will be!
Author Wales_Uk Posted September 28, 2015 Author Posted September 28, 2015 In my experience, two people with such a wide age gap don't usually have much in common. However, since you met her and chatted with her without knowing her age, makes me think that the two of you get along well. So far, at least. My advice to you: If you don't have any other qualms about dating her, other than her age, i'd give it a shot. Again, that crossed my mind, the fact she has a child is making her more mature beyond her years.
TigerCub Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Again, that crossed my mind, the fact she has a child is making her more mature beyond her years. True, but it's also likely that a few years from now she'll be all about how having that child so young made her miss out on her fun years and that she'll want to experience the things she missed out on. And that you being older and having had experienced all you wanted to experience 'wouldn't understand'. 2
Author Wales_Uk Posted September 28, 2015 Author Posted September 28, 2015 True, but it's also likely that a few years from now she'll be all about how having that child so young made her miss out on her fun years and that she'll want to experience the things she missed out on. And that you being older and having had experienced all you wanted to experience 'wouldn't understand'. I agree, but then she would still have her child and probably couldnt do that? Thinking about it rationally like this is putting me off and think its not the best idea to get involved anyway.
EricaH329 Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Again, that crossed my mind, the fact she has a child is making her more mature beyond her years. Do you know this personally, or are you making an assumption? Because i've had many friends have children at a young age, and it has done nothing for their maturity level. If the only thing that's bothering you is the age gap itself, without anything else attached to it (maturity level, things in common, etc), then I don't see why age would even be a factor.
TigerCub Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 I agree, but then she would still have her child and probably couldnt do that? Thinking about it rationally like this is putting me off and think its not the best idea to get involved anyway. Yeah she would still have the child, but he would be older and can be more easily passed off to a baby sitter, friend or partner. I dunno, I am cynical - but realistically, even if she doesn't do that (and I don't think every young mother would do that), you guys are in different stages of your lives. I mean how much do you have in common, how much do your lives relate?
Ami1uwant Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 This is tough. There is alot of growing up that happens between 21-25. If you were say 39 and she way 27 it would be less of an 8ssue. Just don't think with yout.....
Zippy2000 Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 My colleague at work was 41 when he met his 18 year old girlfriend. Hes scottish and she is romanian. They are still together and married. His family frowned upon it first but they are now ok with it. I met a girl who is 24 and I m 41. We had a date but not sure where its going at the moment. I like her lots and I dont look 41. A few months back I was at William H betting place and a member of staff refused me entry until I showed him my drivers license. I have a baby face and sometimes get away with my age..............depends on the light of course. lol
No_Go Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 13 years of age gap is not terrible... But there may be differences in maturity levels and life goals. Once I was madly in love with a guy 11 years older (I was 24, he was 35)... And he ignored me because I was not considering having a family in the foreseeable future... Then I dated a guy 19 years older (27, 46) - the age bothered me, a lot: people used to stare, we were ages apart in experience levels, it didn't work out. Considering that she's a mother already... She is probably experienced/mature for her age. If I were you, I'd date her but proceed with caution (move VERY slowly). I've met a new girl the other week. Pretty and seems really fun and easy to get on with. I met her on a normal night out, nothing fancy, didnt kiss just chatted and swapped numbers. Since chatting more ive found out she has a child, thats something that doesnt put me off, I like children and respect single parents for what they do. Problem is I then found out her age, shes only 20, 21 in December. My age? 33, 34 in January. Its a big gap. She doesnt mind the age gap, she dismissed it as not a problem but im not sure if its a great idea for me to get involved. She would like to go out on an official date this week, get to know each other properly. So far ive used an excuse to say no and think this over. Any advice here would be great. Thank you.
blackcat777 Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Dates are just dates, not a big deal. Get to know her, and hold her to the standards you would any other woman, regardless of her age. Most dates don't work out. Your life paths may not align. It's very possible she might change hers. Then again, my boyfriend and I had the same talk about our age gap, and fortunately we decided to see where it went, because we're still going strong. Dates are really just dates. Better to get to know her and learn why it won't work, if it's not to work, rather than beating yourself up forever about "one that got away," IMHO. Tapas doesn't equal marriage.
PogoStick Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Why not go on a few dates? Where's the harm in getting to know her and deciding what to do later? 2
mystikmind2005 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Why not go on a few dates? Where's the harm in getting to know her and deciding what to do later? Sometimes the simple answer is the best *thumbs up to this post*
xcupid Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I've met a new girl the other week. Pretty and seems really fun and easy to get on with. I met her on a normal night out, nothing fancy, didnt kiss just chatted and swapped numbers. Since chatting more ive found out she has a child, thats something that doesnt put me off, I like children and respect single parents for what they do. Problem is I then found out her age, shes only 20, 21 in December. My age? 33, 34 in January. Its a big gap. She doesnt mind the age gap, she dismissed it as not a problem but im not sure if its a great idea for me to get involved. She would like to go out on an official date this week, get to know each other properly. So far ive used an excuse to say no and think this over. Any advice here would be great. Thank you. My advice: Go out with her. See what develops. Stop overthinking. Good luck.
Maggie4 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Whatever you decide, I hope you tell her the real reason, instead of just rejecting her without an explanation.
Author Wales_Uk Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 some great replies all around here, thank you very much. To the chap who said he didnt look his age, same here, welcome to the club I think I will go on a date with her, maturity wise I dont know for sure, just in our chats she seems like she has her head screwed on. However... she wasnt very happy last night, she asked if I wanted to meet this week but I said I was busy which was partly true, she said it doesnt seem like I have time for a female in my life at the minute. Im going to have to act quick here.
SSM3 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I can chip in here! I was involved with a young woman 18 years my junior a few months ago. We lasted 3 months. I am 40 and she is 22. She was very keen at the start and couldn't keep away, she was constantly coming over to see me and things were good then all of a sudden things just fizzled out. Looking back at things now, it was only a-bit of fun and we had nothing in common really. I had very little to relate to her apart from the odd song in the charts. Our relationship was based just on sex. We were at different stages of our lives, totally. A 13 year age gap is not as big as 18 but it's still an age gap and I would enter any relationship with this girl with caution. People said to me that age gap relationships don't work, I was sceptical myself but they were right. We had fun, I have moved on and no-body got hurt. 1
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