angel85 Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Hi everyone. Quick background info. Met my bf 2 years ago. I am an Indian Asian and he is white. He pursued me for 6 months to date me ( I did not want a relationship at the time). I am a single, never been married 26 year old professional. I work as a dentist with no kids. He is 33, divorced, 3 kids from 2 past relationships. We got together, and started a relationship. It had its up and downs, was harder for me at times, bringing up 3 kids 4 days a week. The downs were that he cheated on me with his ex ( i found out 2/3 months after it happened). I left him. He basically said it was mistake, sorry and that the kids needed me and he wanted me back. And wanted marriage and a baby in the future as he saw that with me and wanted it. He proposed me to twice in the relationship. I said no as it wasn't the right time. Yes, I went back. I know this was a mistake now but at the time, I thought it would work out because we loved each other and wanted a family life. I went back, but I wasn't the same with him and neither was he. He did try for a few days, was nice etc but eventually he got fed up of me being quiet, withdrawn and I could tell that he fed up with me. This same day, he told me that he didn't want a child with me anymore in the future. And he dumped me and asked me to leave his house. I asked why? He said he did not want an Asian baby. A baby that would be different from his 3 white children. A baby that would look different and have part of different culture. He said he only wants a baby that would be same all his other children, I was shocked and felt sick. I am Asian. I was an Asian girl, caring for his kids for 2 years. I washed them, cooked their tea, bought them presents, clothes, paid and took them on nice holidays. I did everything and more. Is this racism? Im so hurt and shocked at this comment. Did he think its okay to have an Asian gf who can look after him and his kids for the rest of their lives but an Asian baby is shameful for him?
PegNosePete Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 What does it matter? He is your ex. You need to move forward and not dwell on the past. NC him and move on. 1
louxor Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Hi everyone. Quick background info. Met my bf 2 years ago. I am an Indian Asian and he is white. He pursued me for 6 months to date me ( I did not want a relationship at the time). I am a single, never been married 26 year old professional. I work as a dentist with no kids. He is 33, divorced, 3 kids from 2 past relationships. We got together, and started a relationship. It had its up and downs, was harder for me at times, bringing up 3 kids 4 days a week. The downs were that he cheated on me with his ex ( i found out 2/3 months after it happened). I left him. He basically said it was mistake, sorry and that the kids needed me and he wanted me back. And wanted marriage and a baby in the future as he saw that with me and wanted it. He proposed me to twice in the relationship. I said no as it wasn't the right time. Yes, I went back. I know this was a mistake now but at the time, I thought it would work out because we loved each other and wanted a family life. I went back, but I wasn't the same with him and neither was he. He did try for a few days, was nice etc but eventually he got fed up of me being quiet, withdrawn and I could tell that he fed up with me. This same day, he told me that he didn't want a child with me anymore in the future. And he dumped me and asked me to leave his house. I asked why? He said he did not want an Asian baby. A baby that would be different from his 3 white children. A baby that would look different and have part of different culture. He said he only wants a baby that would be same all his other children, I was shocked and felt sick. I am Asian. I was an Asian girl, caring for his kids for 2 years. I washed them, cooked their tea, bought them presents, clothes, paid and took them on nice holidays. I did everything and more. Is this racism? Im so hurt and shocked at this comment. Did he think its okay to have an Asian gf who can look after him and his kids for the rest of their lives but an Asian baby is shameful for him? I'm not sure if I'd call it racism, but it's pathetic to say the least. It would make a little more sense if you had come from Asia with your own child, who had been raised in a completely different environment and you didn't want to change the ways you raised this kid to fit with the way he raises his. But even then, it'd still be pretty stupid. I think he may have just said it as a dumb way to 'validate' breaking up with you so he feels like he did the breaking up, which may have served to boost his ego because he didn't want you to do the breaking up with him again. Nonetheless, avoid this ***hole like the plague. You already took the incredibly risky step of getting back with him after he cheated on you (fantastic that you now see how much of a bad idea this was though) so he definitely does not deserve you or your time. 1
Author angel85 Posted September 28, 2015 Author Posted September 28, 2015 What does it matter? He is your ex. You need to move forward and not dwell on the past. NC him and move on. I am moving forward with NC. I am just phased I guessed at such a comment. And me being a bad judge of character to such a person. Just need someone to tell me what they thought on such a hurtful situation?
mightycpa Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 I think he is reacting more to you than the thought of a child with you, although it might be a consideration. The thing about relationships is that it is all about discrimination. When you meet someone, and they ask you out, you discriminate based on skin color, eye color, hair color, height, weight, looks, etc. You might even discriminate based on their clothes, car, apparent wealth, hygiene, etc. I think he just said something that he knew would probably get rid of you for good.
Penguins Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 I am glad you are moving on. It was definitely not kind in any way and extremely hurtful and I agree with @mightycpa, he said something that would really make you mad. Hugs friend.
Nemetona Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Yes it is racism. What a truly awful man. I hope you are OK?
GunslingerRoland Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 I wouldn't go so far as to say that anyone who doesn't want to have a mixed race baby is racist, so I'll go no on the racism. But he's still a moron and you are better off without him.
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