Date ideas?

[ZA Dater]

Perhaps this sounds bizarre but I decided recently to look around at date ideas, places to go, activities to do, this is weird because at the moment I don't actually have a date to do any of this with.

 

Do the other guys on here also look around and plan dates before hand or at the very least get an idea as to possible venues and activities. In all probability by doing this I am just living vicariously in my mind.

 

For the ladies on here, how would you react to the following date idea.

 

Lunch at a picturesque wine farm overlooking mountains and a valley, top class food and afterwards a visit to a lion sanctuary. Too much?

 

I know everyone says 'do something simple and cheap" but simple and cheap doesn't seem like much of a way to impress and woo someone.

 

Maybe I am wrong.

[madjac74]

Just a local bar and grill for a drink and maybe an appetizer. You are giving fiance/wife caliber dates to women you never met. Set the bar low. Let them know you

[ZA Dater]

Just a local bar and grill for a drink and maybe an appetizer. You are giving fiance/wife caliber dates to women you never met. Set the bar low. Let them know you

 

I have met this one a few times.

[joseb]

 

I know everyone says 'do something simple and cheap" but simple and cheap doesn't seem like much of a way to impress and woo someone.

 

Maybe I am wrong.

 

This is the wrong part, you are trying too much to impress them.

First date should be as much about you seeing if they might have potential.

 

But yeah, scouting / planning potential date venues is a good idea IMHO.

[La.Primavera]

For the ladies on here, how would you react to the following date idea.

 

Lunch at a picturesque wine farm overlooking mountains and a valley, top class food and afterwards a visit to a lion sanctuary. Too much?

 

That sounds very romantic. I would be impressed.

 

It also shows off the kind of guy you are which is a good thing.

[Toodaloo]

ZA - it will show that you are prepared and organised.

 

Collect all those ideas up! You have some great ones!!

 

You have no idea how many people who are dating are bored to death of a coffee in Starbucks! While appropriate for some for others its no good.

 

I have a date coming up in a couple of weeks. He asked me out and I told him that I want to arrange it because I am bored to tears of Coffee in Starbucks. He was delighted with this and is thoroughly enjoying trying to guess what we are going to be doing. He is a more active type so I can get away with it so I am booking tree running. Some are less so - therefore in my book it is always a good idea to have ideas in the back of your mind. It also stops dating becoming stale for you too... lets face it endless dates in coffee bars is just so mind numbingly dull!

 

How did it go the other day???

[todreaminblue]

talking the initiative and being imaginative is never in my books, a bad thing nor is making an effort to show that you actually want her to have a wonderful time...i think most women would be grateful to be courted and thought of ...its caring and considerate....shows a bit of selflessness...and thats attractive............deb

[angel.eyes]

It's aways good to be prepared with ideas.

 

How far of a drive is the wine farm? It sounds like a lovely place, but I would try to keep the first date to a 30-60 minute drive tops. If it's more than that, save it for a second or third date, and instead plan for a meal at a nice restaurant locally.

 

Oftentimes, someone is on the fence in terms of interest going into the first date. Make it convenient and easy for her to show up.

[Siquijor]

It sounds like a lovely place, but I would try to keep the first date to a 30-60 minute drive tops.

 

 

I always meet a first date in a busy environment because I think most women would feel uncomfortable being totally alone with a man they didn't know, especially for that period of time.

[lino]

Nothing is really wrong with the planning in advance but to be spontaneous works out better in my experience, especially if it's one of the first few dates.

 

Your idea sounds great, I'm even tempted myself!

However I'd personally reserve something like that for an anniversary or something.

 

Any woman who unequivocally expects that sort of wooing, isn't for me.

 

If you're planning to do that sort of thing with the black tie event chick that you've mentioned before, she may always expect those fancy dates from you. If you're cool with that then it's not a problem though.

[Siquijor]

 

Any woman who unequivocally expects that sort of wooing, isn't for me.

 

 

 

A woman like that paints a bad picture of herself, so I totally agree.

[Els]

If this is a OLD thing or someone you've never met, ditch the whole thing and just go for either drinks or dessert/coffee (if one/both of you is a teetotaler).

 

If this is someone you do indeed know IRL and really like, then it might be okay... but even then it's really not necessary IMO. I thought you said elsewhere that money is a problem for you? If it is then you shouldn't be splurging on first dates like that.

[todreaminblue]

I do think its a special sort of date....and you really wouldnt want to do this type of date every single time because it wouldnt be special anymore.....i think also that you can make a really cheap on the pocket date special by thinking about the woman and where her favourite place maybe.....for me what makes the date idea you said special ....is the thought you put behind it not the money you plan on spending.....and i dont feel at all many women would EXPECT such a date all the time....deb

[ZA Dater]

Thanks everyone these idea will forever remain just an idea. Everything I ever hoped for came crashing down like a ton of bricks today, the bricks unfortunately landing on me.

 

I am glad they were at least good ideas.

[ZA Dater]

If you're planning to do that sort of thing with the black tie event chick that you've mentioned before, she may always expect those fancy dates from you. If you're cool with that then it's not a problem though.

 

That's not likely to happen seeing as she found a bf on Tinder and is apparently totally "smitten".

 

As for the event I am not going anymore.

[Toodaloo]

That's not likely to happen seeing as she found a bf on Tinder and is apparently totally "smitten".

 

As for the event I am not going anymore.

 

Well if she can be smitten with a bloke she has only met once then she can't be all that bright can she?!

 

Not even I am that silly. And I do some really dim things sometimes.

 

Chin up chook.

 

You have an entire internet forum here rooting for you. I know its hurting right now but you can pick yourself up and go on these dates.

[ZA Dater]

Well if she can be smitten with a bloke she has only met once then she can't be all that bright can she?!

 

Not even I am that silly. And I do some really dim things sometimes.

 

Chin up chook.

 

You have an entire internet forum here rooting for you. I know its hurting right now but you can pick yourself up and go on these dates.

 

What I am thinking now I can't type on the forum. I'll go on these dates on my own. Just like I go out and eat dinner on my own or go shopping on my own oh wait I do everything on my own.

 

My best intentions are never enough, just once I wanted to experience something special, I don't care about the money, I'd love to spoil someone I really like.

 

None if these date ideas are cheap but for someone who wows me its absolutely worth it.

[seekingluck]

Perhaps this sounds bizarre but I decided recently to look around at date ideas, places to go, activities to do, this is weird because at the moment I don't actually have a date to do any of this with.

 

Do the other guys on here also look around and plan dates before hand or at the very least get an idea as to possible venues and activities. In all probability by doing this I am just living vicariously in my mind.

 

For the ladies on here, how would you react to the following date idea.

 

Lunch at a picturesque wine farm overlooking mountains and a valley, top class food and afterwards a visit to a lion sanctuary. Too much?

 

I know everyone says 'do something simple and cheap" but simple and cheap doesn't seem like much of a way to impress and woo someone.

 

Maybe I am wrong.

 

Sure that sounds fun, but is probably too much for the early stages. Unless that is a normal weekend for you!

 

If not, museums, festivals, farmers markets, art galleries and the like are all good things to do when you are getting to know someone!

 

I also love to do tastings, like at a local bar with a big selection of rum, whiskey, tequila, wine flights, sake flights, beer flights, wine flights etc. These are all "different" than a normal outing and also give you a chance to share your expertise.

 

You don't have to impress someone with super pricey outings at the beginning. Impress them with your personality and building the chemistry. Then you also don't have to worry about them being impressed by the outing and not you!

 

Also, that sounds like way too much time if I don't already know you pretty well.

[joseb]

Thanks everyone these idea will forever remain just an idea. Everything I ever hoped for came crashing down like a ton of bricks today, the bricks unfortunately landing on me.

 

I am glad they were at least good ideas.

 

Za dater, we have said many times you need to get over your oneitis, hopefully this can help you to do that.

Your obsession with this girl is stopping you looking at others objectively. Accept the fact that you can't force her to like you. Keep going with the positive changes you are making. As I and others said, these should be done for yourself and not to.impress this one girl.

 

Nobody is that special or unique, just sometimes we place people on such pedestals that we no longer can see clearly.

[lino]

That's not likely to happen seeing as she found a bf on Tinder and is apparently totally "smitten".

 

As for the event I am not going anymore.

 

Do still go to the event if it's one you wish to attend. Don't let this ruin something you may have been looking forward to. Also, please continue your self improvement plans you had laid out for yourself if it's indeed what you want.

Women will come and go for the most asinine reasons. This one will not be the last, guarantee you.

 

You've learnt a very valuable lesson here.

 

A lot of women will use one guy as the 'wine and dine guy' while getting porked by some guy who takes her nowhere but his bed.

 

Don't be the 'wine and dine' guy without getting any form of affection in return.

Heck, I learnt the hard way almost ten years ago to never wine and dine at all but I'm not saying you must be that way.

 

Save that excellent idea you have for an outing for a woman who one day shows you at least a year of love, affection, loyalty and class.

[ZA Dater]

Za dater, we have said many times you need to get over your oneitis, hopefully this can help you to do that.

Your obsession with this girl is stopping you looking at others objectively. Accept the fact that you can't force her to like you. Keep going with the positive changes you are making. As I and others said, these should be done for yourself and not to.impress this one girl.

 

Nobody is that special or unique, just sometimes we place people on such pedestals that we no longer can see clearly.

 

Thanks but I am done with everything. It's a total waste of time because as usual i get nothing but a kick in the face. It's not oneitis this person is genuinely special.

 

I was quite happy with my chinos and number 4 hair and I am going back to both of those. Nothing I do or am is ever enough to attract anybody I actually like.

 

Trust me I see very clearly, all I am is somebody nobody that's remotely decent wants, facts back that up.

 

Thanks for the encouragement anyway.

[ZA Dater]

Do still go to the event if it's one you wish to attend. Don't let this ruin something you may have been looking forward to. Also, please continue your self improvement plans you had laid out for yourself if it's indeed what you want.

Women will come and go for the most asinine reasons. This one will not be the last, guarantee you.

 

You've learnt a very valuable lesson here.

 

A lot of women will use one guy as the 'wine and dine guy' while getting porked by some guy who takes her nowhere but his bed.

 

Don't be the 'wine and dine' guy without getting any form of affection in return.

Heck, I learnt the hard way almost ten years ago to never wine and dine at all but I'm not saying you must be that way.

 

Save that excellent idea you have for an outing for a woman who one day shows you at least a year of love, affection, loyalty and class.

 

Thanks, I can but wonder what the guy has i don't but I know he simply probably looks better than I do. Women have never come or shown any interest in me and more to the point I haven't felt butterflies for many of them I have liked.

 

Not going to the event, simply not prepared to feel even worse going on my own like some looser and furthermore not being set up by said friend ever again.

 

After this I am truly done, if I die a virgin then so be it. I am the first to put my hand out to help people but when it comes to dating all that happens is its smacked away.

 

Nothing is going to make me feel better, I'll just exist and nonore than that.

 

As for the porking she did find him on tinder so..

[Toodaloo]

ZA.

 

I know you are really hurting right now and believe you me I understand it.

 

But, if you hide yourself away you are never going to meet anyone.

 

What you do is this. You put on your "mask" the one that you show the world. You smile and act graciously, you engage and talk to people the same way you do with us. You go to that event and you damn well shine at it.

 

I know you don't feel like it, I know you feel absolutely rotten right now but the quickest way out of it is to literally force yourself to keep on going.

 

There is no shame in failure if you keep on trying. The only shame is when you give up.

 

So give yourself a spot of time, then you get up and you keep on going. Instead of going on your own take another friend doesn't matter if its another bloke to act as your wingman! But take someone with you. You are not alone.

 

Keep going ZA. You have only been at this "change and improvement" for a couple of months and even those of us who have been at this longer and haven't had the issues you have still struggle! So come on. Pick yourself up and keep going.

[Toodaloo]

What I am thinking now I can't type on the forum. I'll go on these dates on my own. Just like I go out and eat dinner on my own or go shopping on my own oh wait I do everything on my own.

 

My best intentions are never enough, just once I wanted to experience something special, I don't care about the money, I'd love to spoil someone I really like.

 

None if these date ideas are cheap but for someone who wows me its absolutely worth it.

 

ZA I do everything on my own too! Do you think I am going to give up! I am a bucket load older than you. I don't have your brains. I am not as suave as you.

 

So what should I do, just give up?! No I will not. Because I am a tenacious little devil and I know that someone will love me.

 

I know you want to spoil someone but here is the thing. Spoil the ones who are really into you and invest in those. Never mind all these girls that go banging random guys on tinder! You get yourself a good one.