sydneyman Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Hello every one I am seeking some help and advice from the ladies Ok a few basic facts. I am 54 and she is 49. I am long time single being a full time father to my children whilst she is only recently separated i.e 2 years We are both part of our local community and see each other reasonably often as school functions and the local watering hole etc and have many many mutual friends and aquaintences. There has always been an interest on both sides. Or so I have been told by her friends The summary of our history is this. we have on 2 occasions being alone at the local where an interest was flagged by both of us. I ramped it up by having a "DATE" recently....great night had fun etc but she did send conflicting signals as to her interest.....eg....i have fun with u as against i am not really ready for a relationship etc etc etc So whilst i am certainly interested in going futher i detect that she isnt so my question is this. I have decided that due to her not being interested in MY belief and i could be wrong but dont think so......I have decided NOT to persue her. However I dont simply wish to walk away and say nothing and be accused of "Ghosting". she maybe relieved lol but then she may not be be. So am thinking of sending her a message saying the following Hi "XYZ" how are you. Sorry i havent been in toch for a week or so. As u know i really enjoyed our night out and i would love to see you again which i made quite clear after our date. However I sense that the you dont feel the same way.....I am uncomfortable with seemingly just walking away. just not sure if you are interested or not?????....regards XYZ ladies may i ask yr opinion as I am concerned about putting her on the spot per se but dont whish to just vanish into thin air especially as we are both locals Your insights would be greatly appreciated as I am veryyyyy new to this dating game after so long away Do you guys think a message along the lines of what i posted above is a good idea or not Kind regards Sydney man Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Most would just ask for another date. If she says yes and does go for another date then she must have some kind of interest or she just needs more time to see if there is interest. BUT by all means date other people in the meantime. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 NEVER ask a woman if she is interested or not. EVER. It's a major turn off to them. Ask her out again. If she says no then she should know why you are no longer contacting her. and you will no longer contact her if she says no. But, if you see her around be totally friendly & cool. maybe she will change her mind. Maybe she won't. But you can't focus on a woman that can't decide if she is into you or not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneyman Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 smackie....and phineas thanks for your input.......its enlightening to recieve this.....u guys probably think I am a moron lol.....but hell when u havent dated in 12 years.....one has few clues in this day and age thanks again sydneyman Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 The note is just fine! You tell it exactly the way it is, so refreshing. It's nice that you have not been on the dating scene for years. You haven't picked up disillusionment, tricks, bad habits, fears, and I hope you never will. From the info you gave, she also hasn't been serial dating. If you send the note, you will know what you want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneyman Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 thank you for your thoughts Maggie, greatly appreciated......wow....amazing how people give differing advice isnt it and thats what makes us all unique....no on is right or wrong of course aghhhhhhhh the pitfalls of modern dating....yes i really feel for woman as i hear the stories of ghosting and being stood up etc etc etc etc.....but hey it can be tough on us men toooooooo lol there is one positive aspect though as we get older......we dont get as hard on ourselves if we make a fool of ourselves sometimes lol Have a great day all and i will let u know how i get on whether it be good or bad lol Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Asking a woman if shes interested is a sign of weakness. You are giving her the power to decide. Just be the fun man, the socailable one. The persistant and consistant man who wants to be the one. Good luck and let us know how you get on. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Yeah i wouldnt send that. As others suggest, just ask her out. Though as its been a week of no contact, she may already be on here complaining about ghosting Link to post Share on other sites
thunder777 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Just be the fun man, the socailable one. The persistant and consistant man who wants to be the one. 1st prize for you zippy good work Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneyman Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 an update for those that were kind enough to make the effort re giving advice saw her at the local last night......she offered me a drink and said shall we go out the back for a smoke (yes we both do stupidly lol) so i said XYZ...i really enjoyed the other night and well maybe i didnt read it to well but as u know i stated i have a great interet in u but i assumed u didnt so i left it at that but was uncomfortable at possibly been seen as a ghost yeah yeah i know i know i can sometimes be too honest for my own good well hell.....we have a 2nd date tonight lol few issues possibly as a friend of hers said that she is in not the best of places right now being recently divorced and her brother dying 12 months ago in a frightful death so its go slowwwwwww for me which is wht she needs so all thank you again greatly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
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